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Love Letters

Can't get over it

We'll go for a simple letter for the holiday. Congrats to the runners and everyone cheering them on.


Q:

Meredith,

I was dating/hooking up this guy for about nine months but recently called it quits because we simply won't work. He's not ready for a relationship (we started hooking up shortly after he got out of a serious relationship) and has admitted to still being wrapped up in his ex. I am ready for something more. We were never exclusive but the time we spent together was so easy and natural, I fell for him and wanted a future together.

Given all that, I have given up on it. I can't force him into something he doesn't want. I erased his number and have made the necessary social media changes so that I'm not reminded of him daily. However, I can't get over him. I hope everyday that he'll reach out knowing he won't. And I find myself still wanting to be with him even though at the end of the day, I was probably never anything more than a booty call/ hook up to him, even though we did other things and he's told me what an amazing person I am.

†How do I get over this guy?!?!

– Stuck on him, Boston

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A: Give yourself some time. You say that you ended this relationship "recently," which means that you're still getting used to life without him in your routine.

It's normal to miss him and understandable that you still hope he calls. All you can do is balance the daydreams and sad feelings with time with friends, new activities, and maybe an occasional date.

There is no quick cure for this. You might just be bummed for a while. Distract yourself when you can, but know that itís OK to feel miserable and maybe a little angry about the loss. Having these feelings is part of getting over it. You can't skip the process.

Readers? When should she be over it? Anything she can do to feel better?

– Meredith