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Love Letters

My moods have caused problems

Q: My boyfriend and I have been having some problems for about a month or so now. Mainly because of my bad moods (I feel like I may be depressed). He told me two weeks ago after a drunk argument that he was thinking of breaking up with me, but we decided that instead of breaking up we'd persevere and keep giving it a go. Yesterday he told me he was still thinking of breaking up with me because he felt like we argue too much, and I said that I would go to counseling because I felt that would help the situation.

He told me his gut instinct wasn't good, though. I told him I'd try extra hard with my moods, and things calmed down a bit. We've been together nearly a year and are pretty much inseparable. We laugh most of the time, share everything with one another, and appear to be the perfect match. If he says his gut instinct is that things won't get better though, am I silly in trying to convince him to stay? I feel like we'd be throwing too much away to break up, especially when we know what the problem is, and I'm more than willing to fix it. I personally feel positive about the counseling route, but is it possible to change someone's gut feeling? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

– Moody, Boston

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A: It's possible that his gut feeling will change. It's also possible that it won't. No matter what happens, you need counseling. If you think that you're depressed and that you can't control your moods, you have to help yourself.

Try some therapy and see how you feel about your general temperament. Maybe the professional help will make your relationship better, or maybe you'll decide that you don't want to be in a relationship at all (that's very possible). Tell him that you're hoping for the best and say, simply, "Let's see how it goes."

Please know that no matter what happens, you'll be OK. You shouldn't have to convince him of anything. You just have to focus on feeling good and let this play out.

Readers? Will the boyfriend change his mind? Is he going to break up with her no matter what? Will the counseling make a difference?

– Meredith