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Love Letters

They have an open relationship

The lack of revealing pronouns in this letter is impressive.

Q: I met someone on a dating app recently that I've really connected with. Over time we've gone from messages to Facebook to texting to finally meeting. We've hung out several times since then. This person is extremely respectful toward me, supportive, sensitive, and very ambitious. We've discussed anything and everything. We've met each other's closest friends and have spent a lot of time really getting to know each other. It's been fantastic.

There's only one problem. Technically this person is taken -- they're in an open relationship. They were honest from the get-go and I have allowed myself to wind up in this position.

I find myself wanting more for obvious reasons and have been honest regarding my insecurities about the situation. They've been receptive to this and have shared that they're unsure what their next steps are at this point. The significant other resides in a different state for career purposes and it's unclear if they'll move back.

There are so many unknowns. Friends say I should stick it out and see what happens. This person says they would understand if I walked away, but that it would destroy them.

Am I an idiot for thinking they'll break up? Do I walk away? Do I hang on and see what happens? Help.

– Second Best, San Diego

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A: You have to walk away from this. You're on your way to becoming a placeholder, which is no good for anyone. You're too invested in this new relationship to pretend that you can be casual or share.

It's possible that they'll break up, but waiting around for this person to make decisions won't move this along. You can't sit and stew about your future while this person enjoys two significant others. Explain that you must end the relationship because after meeting friends and and getting to know each other, you want more.

This person might rally ... or not. Either way, you'll get your answer.

Readers? Should this person wait it out? Is this a placeholder situation? Is this really an open relationship ... or is it basically over? Discuss.

– Meredith