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Love Letters

In Love With My Best Friend

Back from Paris.

We chat today at 1.


Q:

Hello Meredith,

Recently I discovered that I have feelings for my best friend. I feel so connected to her, like everything's fun and exciting with her. I feel so close to her, but at the same time, I feel like I'm miles away from her. I want to tell her how I feel but I'm afraid of being rejected.

Honestly, I'm more afraid that it will change our relationship. I would hate to lose her, however I know how I feel about her and I feel compelled to tell her.

I know she doesn't feel the same way about me but I don't care -- I need to share what's in my heart. I feel like this has been an ongoing theme in my life. I've had crushes of this nature but this feels different. I think about her all the time.

Part of me feels like maybe we could be friends after I tell her. I wonder if telling her and hearing a rejection would help me move on. I know in my heart what I want to be to her but if I can't, I wonder what we'll be at that point.

Do you have any words of wisdom on this? Does love develop over time? Do I need to be patient and wait or am I just kidding myself? Thank You :)

– In Love, Framingham

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A: Tell her how you feel -- now -- because this obsession has to end. You've spent so much time thinking about your feelings that you've lost perspective. You donít know what it would be like to date this woman. You don't know what she's like as a girlfriend. All you know is that you've developed feelings for her and that your relationship has to change.

Disclosure will affect how she feels about you, of course. She might not be your best friend anymore. But she might start thinking of you in a different way, and she she should appreciate your honesty.

Just explain it -- no grand romantic gestures or long confessions. Be confident and know that even if she doesnít reciprocate, you're doing the right thing for both of you. You can figure out the next step together.

Readers? Will disclosure ruin the friendship? Should he wait to tell her? What should he say?

– Meredith