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Love Letters

Is she really texting with friends?

I leave for Paris tonight to mark the year anniversary of my mom’s death (sorry for a bummer first sentence of the day). My sister and I will be there for the week to do all of my mom’s favorite Paris things -- like macaroon eating.

There will be Love Letters while I'm gone, but I'll be a bit slow on email because of the time difference. I will take pictures of French self-help books and post them when I can. (Laisse tomber, il te mérite pas!)

A short letter for today, but he is confused.


Q:

I met a girl on an online dating site. She is 9 years younger than me. We really have hit it off and we decided not to see anyone but each other.

The other day while we were out together, I found out that she was on the dating site texting men who contacted her. It really hurt me, and when I brought it up to her she said that she was speaking with friends. What should I do about this situation?

– Confused, Westwood, NJ

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A: You don't meet friends on a dating site. I mean, sometimes you do, but that's not the point of signing up for these services. If these men are really just friends, she should be willing to introduce them to you. She should be able to tell you more about them to put you at ease. She should not have secret acquaintances who only communicate by text.

I assume you mention the age difference because you're wondering whether this is a young person thing. The answer is no. You're either exclusive or you're not. If she's not, you have to make decisions accordingly.

Readers? Are there sites where you can meet friends? Is this a generational thing? Does he have to end it?

– Meredith