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Love Letters

Love Letters: My Family Doesn't Like My Boyfriend



Q:

Hi Meredith,

I have some problems with my family and my boyfriend.†Recently my family has been giving me ultimatums about my boyfriend, saying that they don't like him or want him around. I love my boyfriend very much. We have been together for two and a half years and just like any other couple we have our problems, but we manage to work it out. The only problem is that he does seem to want to be around his friends a lot, and thatís what makes my family upset.

I want everyone to get along, but it just seems like I can't talk to my family about my social life anymore because they can't accept it.

I would appreciate advice about how I can resolve this. I am stuck and it truly hurts to be forced to decide between people, especially when no one seems to want to consider my feelings or what makes me happy.

– Family Problems, Santa Ana

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A: Make sure that you understand why your family objects to this relationship. Is it really about his friends? Is there more to it? It seems like they might not be telling you everything. Ask for a full explanation.

Also talk to your own friends about this. Do they share your family's opinion? Do they support the relationship? Friends are often the best reality check.

If you still want to be with this guy after you hear the worst of it, you'll have to deal with the aftermath and accept that relationships change. Itís possible that you'll see less of your family, and maybe that's OK. Perhaps it's time for more independence.

I wish you had told us more about your boyfriend and his thoughts on all of this. I hope he's being supportive and helping you navigate these issues. If not, that's something to consider.

Readers? Does she know everything about the boyfriend? Should she distance herself from the family?

– Meredith