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Love Letters

Love Letters: Dating a Single Dad?

We chat at 1 p.m.


Q:

Dear Meredith,†

I am really bad at writing but I have wanted to do this for a while. Here it goes.

I met my friend at work. He is not a coworker but does work in my building. Which is now my old building because I no longer work for the same company. †

We started off as friends. We would go on smoke breaks together or go for walks during lunch.†

He is a couple of years younger and is a single father. He works very hard for his daughter and just adores her. There have been a couple of times that we went out after work. It's always a blast. Yes, things have happened. I truly adore this man.

But we live about an hour away from each other and I don't drive. He will tell me he wants to visit, but then something always seems to come up. He has come once and has given me rides home when we hang out late in Boston.

I guess I am really confused because he says things to me like "you hold a special place in my heart." I understand that he is a single father and respect that he is not ready to bring her around me, but there are times he doesn't follow through or just doesn't answer my texts. †

I say actions speak louder than words. Should I just let go? Does he really care about me? I am so confused. Please help.

– Does He Like Me?

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A: It's time to have a talk about what you're doing.

Ask him what he wants. Ask him whether he's ready to see you more often and how that can happen. If he only wants an occasional date when he has time, that's fine, but you need to know so that you can make decisions and manage your expectations.

He probably does care about you, but his other priorities come first. The "actions speak louder than words" rule doesn't always work with a single dad who's spread thin. That's why you have to talk.

No matter what, don't expect this relationship to get more serious without you figuring out a way to handle some of the transportation on your own. If you guys decide to try to make this work, you'll need to be able to get to him.

Readers? Should she give up? Does he care? Should she ask him what's happening? Zipcar?

– Meredith