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Dear Becca and Casey...In-Laws and Exes

Posted by Becca Olcott  May 20, 2013 08:00 AM

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Dear Becca and Casey,

I just found out that my mother-in-law to be is bringing a date, even though we made clear there are no dates allowed. My fiance's parents had a messy divorce, and the last thing I want to do is see old wounds opened up during the wedding.

Help, Nixing the In-Laws and Exes

Dear Nixing,

Sadly, from an etiquette standpoint, I'm afraid this is something that you frankly don't have much control over. Although it might make for a tough moment or two for you and your future husband, it's out of your hands. I would suggest politely asking again for his parents to respect your no date policy, but after that it's up to them to decide what they're going to do. Treat it as an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow together. Talk openly and frequently. Perhaps a family counseling meeting with your rabbi, pastor, or local therapist is in order. The bottom line is communication is vital in such emotionally charged times. And letting go of what you can't control is just as important.

Good Luck,

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About the Authors

Becca Olcott has a thing for old love letters and good old-fashioned romance. Bringing daily wedding updates and advice is second nature to Becca. She spends her days working with the brides of New England designing tablescapes full of lush florals and antique gems through her business Petal Floral Design.
Casey Harrison is a wedding and portrait photographer in the lovely city of Boston. She spends her days scouting the countryside for beautiful locations for shoots and taking photos of couples in love through her business Hello Love Photography.

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