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Dear Inspired: Pre-wedding gift opening

Posted by Casey Harrison  June 3, 2013 11:39 AM

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Dear dynamic duo,

First of all - your work inspires me constantly! Thank you for that. My question is around thank you note etiquette. My fiancee and I sent a wedding gift to his friend who won't be wed until June. I am a total nerd and wanted to make sure we get the best pick of the registry before we were stuck sending towels! I was a little surprised to see a thank you note sitting in our mailbox before the wedding. Are you supposed to wait until after your wedding to open your gifts and send thank you notes? Thanks for straightening me out.

Clearly Confused

Dear Confused,

Thanks for writing! This is a tricky one. Although there is no "official" etiquette rule about this (our dear Emily Post is oddly silent about this one!), traditionally gifts are supposed to be opened after the wedding. They are intended for you to use as a married couple. Plus, it's fun to return home from your honeymoon to a little pile of presents!

Modern day attitudes are a little more flexible about opening the gifts beforehand and sending notes at your convenience (within the three month grace period). The most important thing is sending a note - the timeline isn't quite as big a deal.

Hope that helps!


This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
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About the Authors

Becca Olcott has a thing for old love letters and good old-fashioned romance. Bringing daily wedding updates and advice is second nature to Becca. She spends her days working with the brides of New England designing tablescapes full of lush florals and antique gems through her business Petal Floral Design.
Casey Harrison is a wedding and portrait photographer in the lovely city of Boston. She spends her days scouting the countryside for beautiful locations for shoots and taking photos of couples in love through her business Hello Love Photography.

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