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Dear Becca + Casey: How to address guests on a wedding invitation

Posted by Becca Olcott  January 6, 2014 08:02 AM

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EmilyPost.jpgDear Becca and Casey,

I was hoping you could help settle a discussion I've been having with
my fiancee over wedding invitations. Is there a proper way to address
your guests, specifically, the guests of the friends/ family you are
inviting? My take has always been that if a couple is married, they
are adressed, Mr. and Mrs. Jack Smith. Whereas, if a couple is not,
you automatically address the invitation to Jack Smith and guest. She
says it is rude to do so and that you should always make the attempt to
put the name of your friend's guest down as well especially if they
are in a committed relationship. It seems like this could cause a
lot of headaches for those friends who go through break-ups end have a
different significant other by the time of the wedding. More
importantly, it could create a situation where a friends guest is
offended if their name isn't on the invitation. (If you were to give
a single friend the option of bringing a guest only the person they
had been casually dating is more serious than you realized.) For
these reasons, I always figured addressing invitations to, "... and
guest," is the right thing to do. My parents, aunts and uncles agree
with me but, times may have changed since I've been surprised to be
addressed on her friends' wedding invitations since we've been
together. Please let me know what you think.



Dear WF,

With modern day customs being somewhat hard to navigate, I find it most reliable to lean on my favorite leading etiquette guru, Ms. Emily Post. Here's what I found from the trusted leading lady!

Hope that resolves your concerns,


This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
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About the Authors

Becca Olcott has a thing for old love letters and good old-fashioned romance. Bringing daily wedding updates and advice is second nature to Becca. She spends her days working with the brides of New England designing tablescapes full of lush florals and antique gems through her business Petal Floral Design.
Casey Harrison is a wedding and portrait photographer in the lovely city of Boston. She spends her days scouting the countryside for beautiful locations for shoots and taking photos of couples in love through her business Hello Love Photography.

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