If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one dessert every day, what would it be? If the answer is not cake (and for most people, it's not), then skipping the wedding cake is a DO! I appreciate the tradition of a wedding cake, but there's no need to serve a dessert at your wedding that you don't actually love. There are so many options: pies! cupcakes! candy! macarons! Don't deny your guests a little something sweet, but do feel free to choose something that you love to eat!

At our wedding, we hired a gelato cart to come serve gelato to our guests. As ice cream lovers, we felt like it was the perfect finishing touch to our dinner. So, what's your favorite sweet? Are you considering a non-traditional dessert at your wedding?

This past weekend my husband and I were in Vermont with friends for a site visit. Being that this particular wedding is to celebrate said friends, we got to tag along for a whole weekend of fun activities. Over our dinner Saturday night the bride-to-be posed an interesting question that sparked some good discourse. How to cordially ask guests to not post pictures on Facebook or Instagram during the wedding or even the week after? In this day and age, is it possible to limit the intimacy of a wedding to just the close family and friends who are present? A way to not invite our myriad other, digital "friends" into the sacred occasion?

It's a sensitive subject. But take solace in the fact that you are grappling with this issue alongside every other modern bride. If presented in the correct, respectful way, I think it's fine to be direct with your guests. This can be accomplished as they arrive with a sign, or maybe a note in the program simply stating something like, " We are here today to celebrate our union with our closest friends and family and would like to ask you to preserve and celebrate this moment without the use of social media."

I've wavered in thinking if this is a good idea or not, mostly because it feels a little funny to even mention these services at your wedding, but the truth is social media is a part of our lives now. Furthermore, because we are the first generation to use it, the nuances of social media etiquette aren't well defined or understood at this point. Thus, in order to achieve an intimate day without modern intrusions, you may have to be prepared with a little old-fashioned bluntness.

While receiving lines can be a bit long and tedious, I have to say that they are still a major DO. You may want to spend the time taking photos or doing something else, but it's important to remember that you are the host of your wedding and it is your responsibility to greet each guest and thank them for coming to celebrate with you. Guests may not remember the place card display or your first dance song, but they will remember the time they got to spend chatting with you on your big day. Some guests may have traveled from far away to attend the wedding, and it can be a disappointment to not have any time to speak with the bride and groom they came to see.

While you don't have to do a traditional receiving line after the ceremony, it can be the most efficient way to be sure to greet everyone. Some brides and grooms choose to do their rounds later in the night, but that can often lead to the happy couple missing their dinner. However you choose to do it, be sure to make room in your wedding day schedule to greet your lovely guests and thank them for showing their support!

What?! Were you thinking of clutching each other close for "Lady In Red"? I say do do do! Pick a song that's special to you as a couple but also that has a little spark to it. You don't need to show off for any of your guests, or feel pressure to pick a "hot" song, just be totally true to the nature of the two of you for your first dance. One of my favorites was my friend Lindsay and her husband Luke, last year when they danced to a Jack Johnson and Paula Fuga song, "Country Road". They swayed to every end of the dance floor, she jumped into his arms, they took "the dip" to a whole new level, and it was just SO them! Every guest was ready for a celebration after that! So, whether your song is NKOTB, CCR, or Marky Mark, seize the moment and set the tone for the party to follow!

photo by Stacey Hedman Photogrpahy

image by Jenny Moloney
Many brides ask me about using mason jars for reception centerpiece vases. From my point of view as a floral designer, they're a don't. Hear me out.

In theory, mason jars are a convenient way to save some money and highlight the rustic chic wedding that has been so popular the past several seasons.

Here are the issues: 1. The jars are not necessarily a cost saver. Often times, if we are limited to mason jars for flowers we are compelled to arrange several vases per table which means more arrangements and more cost. 2. I love surprising designs, and mason jars are starting to give off a whiff of cliché. How about wrapping plants in burlap or a feed sack? Don't hesitate to push the envelope a little.

Granted, this is only my opinion, and I am considering wedding designs on a daily basis. If you're a bride who is dying to use mason jars, I'm not going to rain on your parade. By all means, use them happily and confidently. It's your wedding and you only get to do it once.

For a totally different topic...Do you want to get your start in the wedding industry? My girlfriends over at the coolest letterpress shop this side of the Mississipi are hiring for their store manager position. That's right! The elusive store manager position at Gus and Ruby Letterpress is accepting applicants, and it'd be silly to miss this narrow window of opportunity. If you get the job, mark my words, I will be jealous. Like severely jealous. Planted in thriving Portsmouth, Gus and Ruby's greatest asset is a team of fabulously talented, hilarious and super thoughtful ladies who all strike the perfect balance of work hard/play hard. Fill out your applications today.

In this day and age, it is rare to receive a handwritten note. Email is used for everything from scheduling appointments to inviting friends to an event to sharing exciting news. However, wedding thank-you cards are one thing that should be left to snail mail. The guests at your wedding showed their support, celebrated with you, and maybe even gave you a gift. The least you can do is show your gratitude with a short note! Especially in this digital age, it is so nice to see a piece of "real" mail sitting in the mailbox.

The "official" etiquette rule is that you have until one year after the wedding to get your thank-you cards out. I'd shoot for somewhere closer to three months. I remember feeling overwhelmed by all the writing I had to do, but make a goal of writing five (or ten) cards a day, and they'll be done in no time! Your new husband should help out, too - there's no rule that the bride must do all the writing! :)

Brace yourselves, romantics. For me? The cake cutting, the whole smooshy-face frosting thing? So over it. I say don't get into the public cake cutting rigmarole at all. In my opinion, it's a waste of precious dance floor time. Not only do you leave your gluten free guests high and dry, you also shame walk yourself through crushing cake into your beloved's face, and the thanks you get is buttercream in your hair. Awesome. At this point at best the tradition is played out, all that hullabaloo for one cliched album shot.

In no way am I suggesting skip dessert, in fact, sweets are pretty much essential. A great sweets solution I've seen is to offer a dessert bar of assorted treats including cake, but not strictly cake. That way guests can get their fix on their own time. Plus when you have a dessert table, there's an easy opportunity for you to offer goodies for many of the dietary restrictions so many of your guests might have!

photo credit: the ever-so talented Heidi of White Loft Studio

I've had several brides wear fur accessories for their engagement or wedding photos, and I always think it looks stunning. For a late fall or winter wedding, most couples would still like to do portraits outdoors but don't want to throw on a big black parka over their wedding dress. A fur coat can be a great way to stay really warm but still look formal, sophisticated, and super stylish. And I have to say, fur photographs beautifully.

The brides I've shot have all gotten their furs from older relatives or vintage shops, so ask your grandma if she might have one gathering dust in the attic. Of course, fur can be a controversial choice, and you can always choose a faux fur! That's the route I would go, and you would never be able to tell the difference in a photo.

What do you think? Would you wear fur to your wedding? Is it too old-fashioned for you?

Photo by Hello Love Photography

Speaking from experience I can say with a full heart that I have no second thoughts about the choice to register for our honeymoon. My husband and I enjoyed so many fun activities throughout our Italian 'luna di miele'. Indulgent boat rides, nights out and afternoons poolside were accompanied by rich toasts to the close friends and family that made these opportunities possible. Furthermore, instead of the burden of lots of nice new things piling up in an apartment we didn't have, we simply felt celebrated. After the fact, our guests loved the stories we shared with them when we got back . They were proud that they personally shaped our adventures abroad. Registering for a memorable honeymoon = Never a bad decision.

Here are two sites I'd recommend using for your registry if you decide to take the plunge:
1. The Honeyfund
2. Honeymoon Wishes

Above is a photo of Mike and I on the top of Anacapri mid September 2010. My, how time flies.

What are my thoughts on creating the signature cocktail? It's a major DO. It's a fun and simple way to add whimsy to your special day. I think if Mike and I were to get married again we might have to offer our guests the MOBO-rita. Adding our initials to our all time favorite Mexican elixir.

photo by: White Loft Studio