Beyonce said it best when she sang, "if you liked it than you should have put a ring on it."

However, a recent survey by Coldwell Banker Real Estate reveals that the game has changed. In fact, 1 in 4 married millennials (ages 18-34) purchased their homes before purchasing an engagement ring. For some young couples, buying a home together has become "the new engagement ring," says Robi Ludwig, Coldwell Banker's "lifestyle correspondent" and psychotherapist who assisted with the study.

The tune has changed. Now it sounds more like, "if you like it then you better put a back yard, porch, granite countertops, and finished basement on it."

As with getting married, purchasing a home is a major life event. The happily ever after that we all strive for comes with alot of hard work. Prepare to have honest conversations about finances with your partner before deciding to purchase a home together. For some, that may include admitting to the secret bank account you use for the occasional Nordstrom Rack shopping spree or sharing the details of your debt with the person you're about to spend the rest of your life with.

Another good practice is to set realistic priorities. If it's an uber-chic wedding that you both desire, have it. If it's an ultra-modern, yummy new home, go for it. Keep your eyes on the end result together and it will strengthen your bond.

The Mister and I are getting married first. Our goal is to own a home together before our second wedding anniversary. I've been a lifelong renter. He owns a condo that we both live in now. Life is good and it's about to get a whole lot better!

Boston.com readers, what do you think? Did you purchase your home before getting married or did you wait until after the wedding?

Photo Credit: iStock Photo

As we slowly shift gears and get back to normal in Boston, I wanted to share a quick wedding planning update. We finally chose a caterer! The Mister and I are incredibly excited to work with East Coast Grill in Cambridge for our reception. Their bold flavors and friendly, casual atmosphere are a perfect fit for the vibe we want our guests to feel on our wedding day. Shout out to ECG's catering team with Catering Director, Becky, at the helm. She has been a joy to work with.

Next item on the checklist: Wedding dress shopping. Oh joy!

Engaged couples, how's your wedding planning coming along? Drop a few lines in the Comments section and share any trials and triumphs you are experiencing.

It has been a difficult day and week for Bostonians.

My fiance' and I want to send out our heartfelt condolences to those impacted by the devastation brought to our city. Our prayers are with the Richard family, who live in the same neighborhood we call home, and the other families who lost loved ones this week.

Our prayers are with the over 180 people injured during the bombing on Monday and to all the first responders who have remained steadfast and courageous as they continue to protect our city. RIP Sean Collier.

Our prayers are with Patrick Downes and Jessica Kensky Downes, the local newlywed couple who both lost their left leg below the knee as they watched the Boston Marathon at the finish line when the deadly bombs were detonated. Their story hit me to the core, a beautiful couple with so much to look forward to now have a long road of recovery ahead.

Emotions are high. Our city is bruised, but we are NOT broken. Boston is home to some of the best and brightest. We are a proud city. We breed innovation. Heck, we breed future Presidents and leaders. We are the city of champions. Don't ever forget that.

Boston, I love you. We love you.

Okay. Perhaps hate is a strong word. Let me explain.

I recently read "Why Should Married Women Change Their Names? Let Men Change Theirs" penned by Guardian columnist Jill Filipovic. The article left me feeling a tinge of hateration toward my choice to add the Mister's name to my own after we get married. It led me to wonder how my feminist crusader-type friends would react to my choice. Through research on the topic, I discovered that everyone from feminists to traditionalists, conservatives to liberals, and average Joes to average Janes have an opinion on the matter!

Let's begin with Filipovic's point of view. In her article, she states that our names are part of our identity and to change them is to give up the most "basic marker" of who we are. She goes on to explain that she understands why women do it given the social judgement of a sexist culture we work so hard to lean in to every day of our existence as womankind.

Then the article took an interesting turn. After stating that she gets it, she proceeds to criticize women who change their last names by saying the reasons we give are not good enough, they make no sense. The always popular response of "We want our family to share a name" or "His last name sounds better" are just excuses.

The article closes with a push to challenge men to change their last names. Hmph. I guess if Jay-Z did it, every man should.

I struggled with accepting Filipovic's article as the gospel and decided to poll my Facebook friends, coworkers, and even people I sat next to on the train. Surprisingly, most people agree with Filipovic. Many women in my circle kept their names or are choosing to keep them after marriage, with some doing the hypenation thing, and a nearly extinct few dropping their names completely.

Eeek! I may be outnumbered on this one.

My reason for deciding to add his name is simple: it's MY choice. How's that for a feminist stance? I don't subscribe to the notion that changing my last name means that my identity is gone forever. The addition of his name does not result in the subtraction of who I am as a person. I'll still be me.

Boston.com, what do YOU think?

Women: Did you or do you plan to change your last name once married?
Why or why not?

Men: Did you or would you pull a Jay-Z and take on your wife's last name? Why or why not?

Same sex couples: Where do you stand on the issue?

Last weekend while stalking some of my favorite wedding blogs, I came across a post highlighting a couple who had a stunning wedding. The bride wore an expensive gown, the groom looked dapper in his suit. The ceremony took place atop a mountain set next to a farmhouse. The photographer captured still shots of a beautiful bouquet and a well-appointed tablescape. The photos chronicled a truly romantic ceremony, but one thing was missing -- there wasn't a guest in sight!

Wedding planners are calling this trend weddings-for-two, pre-planned elopements where couples wed in private with all the frills of a celebration for 200 people, but a guest list of zero.

Some might call this trend oxymoronic and question why a couple would spend thousands of dollars and countless hours obsessing over details that will never be experienced by a single guest. Others may question whether or not it truly is a wedding-for-two if the photos end up on a blog (or Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) for millions of viewers to see, including the family and friends of the couple, who probably feel slightly offended that they weren't part of the day.

Research on the topic led me to a recent story covered on TODAY. Freelance writer and editor Wendy Grossman Kantor offers readers a candid account of why some couples are choosing to ditch the guest list in exchange for the fancy elopement.

According to the couples Kantor interviewed for the article: no guests equal no stress. Clearly, the newer generation of engaged couples are making their own rules. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we're actually paying for our own weddings, so why not get exactly what we want. For some, that 'want' means spending their budget on creating a day that's more about them and less about the distant cousins, coworkers, neighbors and their plus ones.

Personally, I can't wait to hit the dance floor at our reception and Cupid Shuffle with all of our wedding guests! Guests bring the fun factor. You can't have a party without them!

Last week I had a health scare. A not-so-friendly reminder that I am only one person who can only do one thing at a time. A wake-up call that my fiance' is not marrying Wonder Woman, but a woman who does constantly wonder how married life will be after all the hoopla of this wedding planning is behind us.

The answer to that question came in the form of a trip to the ER.

I wouldn't quite recommend this as a date night option, but sitting in the emergency room with your fiance' all day has a way of bringing you closer together. During my sick episode, the Mister was a rock star. He showed me the man I'm engaged to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I got a glimpse of what our lives will be like forty years from now when we are old and gray.

Love is truly patient. Love is indeed kind.

As a friend who sent a text message last week to check up on me put it, "I see you gave him a test drive in living the vows...in sickness and health." I guess I did. He passed the test with flying colors, and with 201 days to go, I can't wait to say...

"I, Expertly Engaged, take you, Mister, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life..."

Engaged couples: what has been your 'living the vows' moment during wedding planning?

I have a feeling today's post will make a few of you cringe, but before you sound off with all the lovely comments that always make me feel so warm and fuzzy (not!), take a gander at where Boston ranks in this spending spree.

Recently, wedding website TheKnot.com released results from a survey of over 17,000 couples who spent an average of $28,427 on wedding expenses in 2012, the highest cost since 2008.

Bostonians ranked high on the big spenders list with an average wedding budget of $39,239, just a few notches shy of Manhattan where couples spent a hefty price tag of $76,687. If you are looking to bump elbows with the frugal crowd, grab your winter fur and head out to Alaska where the average wedding cost $15,504 last year.

Why so expensive, you ask?

TheKnot.com's site director, Anja Winikka, attributes these high costs to a trend in 2012 tokened as "the year of the guest." Newlyweds dished out more money to add extras such as photo booths, transportation, unique venues, morning-after brunches, and elaborate reception menus to wow guests.

Another budget buster? The stateside destination wedding. In 2012, more couples foot the bill to plan three-day weekend events. Out-of-town guests not only flew in to witness the nuptials, but were also treated to a full schedule of activities leading up to the "I dos."

Boston, what do you think of these stats?

Did you attend one of these pricey weddings in 2012? Or, are you one of the newlyweds who spent big in 2012?

At the recommendation of a friend, I recently had my first eyelash extension appointment to test them out for a potential wedding day look. I'm IN LOVE with them. My eyelashes look so natural, they feel incredibly lightweight, and I'm now a believer that every blushing bride should give major lash action on her wedding day.

Photo Credit: Erik Umphrey

Before you book an appointment to try your own set of lash extenders, consider these tips.

Go to an expert. Do your homework and schedule a consultation with a licensed esthetician. I'll even let you borrow my amazing lash artist. Ask for Chanell at Pigmenta (218 Newbury Street). She's a master at applying full lush lashes. The cost for eyelash extensions is between $120 - $200.

Keep water from your face for the first 24 hours. In other words, don't schedule a hot yoga session right after you get your lashes done. With proper maintenance, eyelash extensions can last up to 30 days.

Make sure your lashes match your 'style'. Maybe you're not going for the Jersey Shore Snooki look for your big day. All lashes don't have to be over-the-top and super dramatic. Work with your lash artist to find a length and thickness that's just right for you.

No mascara needed. If you must, use non-waterproof mascara. Mascara tends to shorten the life of your extensions. Be gentle when applying mascara, too. Try not to pull or tug at the lashes.

It's your wedding day. Flutter and bat your eyes to your heart's content!

Expertly engaged tip - If you're a bride on a budget, check out the makeup aisle at your local CVS or Walgreens for a pair of DIY eyelash strips.

Are you wearing eyelash extensions for your wedding day?

Readers, meet Aidan.

Photo Credit: Ellen Chang, Jenny Yoo

This convertible chiffon A-line gown by Jenny Yoo is gorgeous and very flattering for a bridal party that comes in all shapes and sizes.

The coolest feature on this gown? You can create over 15 different looks with two convertible panels that can be styled for each bridesmaid. If one of your bridesmaids is a little self-conscious about going strapless, just pull the convertible panels up and give her a draped one shoulder wrap! One dress, endless possibilities.

My party is small with only three women, but they range in size and personality so I knew choosing one uniform look wouldn't work well. I decided on a color and allowed the ladies to choose their own dress. Hands down, the Aidan won.

Expertly Engaged tip - If long gowns are not your thing, the shorter version of this dress is called Keira. To view the entire Jenny Yoo 2012 collection, click here.

Another Expertly Engaged tip - If you are in Boston and looking for Jenny Yoo dresses, you MUST go to Flair on Newbury Street. The boutique is very well-appointed and the service is top-notch. Shout out to Elaine who helped get my ladies fitted and ready for the big day.

Happy Planning!

Ever been to a 'dessert only' reception?

The idea came to my mind the other day as I examined three different catering proposals for our fall nuptials. I literally fell out of my seat in amazement over how costly it can be to feed guests at a reception. The whole ordeal left me saying to myself, "I wonder if our guests would be satisfied with just a Coke and a smile?"

Of course that wouldn't be enough. {le sigh!} So, what would be a good alternative to the sit-down formal meal that most guests expect at a reception?

Photos by Maureen Cotton Weddings

Instantly, I took to my Pinterest boards to 'get inspired' and that's when it hit me! Why not host an evening dessert and wine reception with a few passed appetizers for our guests to dine on in between yummy treats including a station with an assortment of pies and cheesecakes, a cupcake bar, a candy bar...all-sugar EVERYTHING. Our invitations would carefully indicate 'a dessert and wine reception' to let our guests know not to expect a full meal. We will also plan it to start later in the evening in order to give guests the option to eat a full meal before arriving.

Seven months to go and I think I've figured it out!

Yes, having a wedding is an expense. Our goal is to not let it get too expensive. A dessert reception allows you to be creative and explore more cost effective ways to have an amazing celebration.

The traditions of yesteryear are evolving and more modern-day engaged couples are following trends that will help save money. I'll drink (and have a big slice of chocolate cake) to that!

For more inspiration, check out these fab ideas in the Lifestyle section for pulling off a candy and dessert buffet at your own reception.

Happy planning!

Last week, a coworker sent me a link to an article about a new wedding trend that's drawing quite a bit of criticism in the wedding world: the anti-invite.

Call it harsh or downright rude, but in the article senior editor of TODAY, Rina Raphael, informs readers that more couples are sending out these alerts than you may think. In today's economy, those who are planning weddings are keeping a closer eye on their budgets which often means that the guest list is the first place to downsize. Add to that the fact that we are an "information oversharing generation," and many of us feel compelled to let people know everything... even stuff that's better left unsaid. Stuff like, "Actually, you're NOT invited to the wedding!"

The most amusing part of the article is when Raphael interviewed an anonymous bride who informed friends that they were placed on a waiting list for her wedding and would be notified if 'an opening' came up for a full invitation. These second-tier friends harbored some resentment, but STILL readily accepted the invite, even if they were labeled as 'B-list' friends.

Ha! What will they think of next?!

I don't think I'm feeling this trend. What happened to the days when non-guests just figured out they weren't invited when they simply didn't get a save the date in the mail?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these 'you're not invited' email alerts? Share your story by leaving a comment below.

Valentine's Day is right around the corner and you're engaged! Take a break from the wedding planning and treat your future husband/wife/partner to a special evening.

Here's my list of a few awesome things to do in and around Boston:

Darryl's Corner Bar and Kitchen, South End
The sign on the front of Darryl's Corner Bar and Kitchen reads "intersection of friends, food and music," and those are three words that the Mister and I live by. In fact, we first met at this cozy South End restaurant during a networking event, so naturally it holds a special place in our hearts. Check out the Valentine's Day Date Nights special that is being offered between Feb. 14th - 16th.

Expertly Engaged Tip: If you really want to spice things up with your fiance', check out Darryl's on Tuesdays from 8 PM -11 PM for Reggae Night!

Photo credit: Maureen Cotton Photography

Couples Massages at Bella Santé
Shoveling out of Nemo, wedding planning...Let Valentine's Day be your excuse to escape it all. Schedule a couples massage session complete with chocolates and champagne at Bella Santé's Wellesley or Lexington locations between Feb. 14th - 17th and prepare to hit 'play' on relaxation mode.

Mickalene Thomas Exhibit at the Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA)
If you and your boo are part of the artsy scene, a visit to the ICA this week to check out New York-based artist Mickalene Thomas is a must. The Mister and I caught her exhibit last fall at the Brooklyn Museum and it was an amazingly rich display of paintings adorned with rhinestone and acrylic. Located on the Boston waterfront, the ICA is a visually stunning building and will leave a lasting impression. The Mickalene Thomas exhibit runs through April 7th.

Late Night Dessert at The Fireplace, Brookline
Head to this upscale yet cozy spot in Brookline for a dessert nightcap to end your Valentine's Day night. Order the Sweet Little Bites selection from the menu and share a pair of yummy doughnuts and snuggle up next to the fireplace. Another great thing about this spot? A gluten-free menu option!

Whatever you decide to do this Thursday, do it with love. Happy Valentine's Day!

As millions of Americans watched the lights go out during last night's Superbowl, I couldn't help but wonder how I would react if that happened at our wedding.

I admit. A bit of worry set in. It didn't last long, but the slightly neurotic, inner-Bridezilla tendencies that I'm trying so hard to suppress began to set in.

As a coping mechanism, I took to the blogosphere to "stalk" stories of couples who dealt with power outages on their wedding day. I learned that many power outages were actually due to inclimate weather, and not electrifying halftime performances put on by Beyoncé. However, for the record, I would happily welcome the lights going out at our reception if Beyoncé came and performed "All the Single Ladies" right before I took my position to throw the bouquet!

But, I digress...

Next, I stopped by the good ol' Farmer's Almanac to research the probability of a classic New England Nor'easter touching down and causing a massive blackout during our reception. A huge sigh of relief came shortly after discovering that the forecast is looking awesome for our day, though my fingers are still crossed.

So, what should you do if the lights go out during your wedding?

If you're a planner like me, I suggest circling back with your vendors and find out how each would handle unexpected situations, including power outages. Check to make sure your venue has back-up generators and candles available. If you plan to hire a DJ, coordinate a time when he/she can go to the venue and take inventory of any additional equipment they might need. Remind your wedding planner to pack flashlights and a backup iPod, just in case.

A power outage is just one of those things that no one can predict. You can prepare as much as possible, but ultimately Mother Nature is in control. As long as you are surrounded by family and friends who love and know you best, you're good. No one will hold it against you, or question your ability to throw a great party!

Just remember to keep calm and marry on. Lights on or off, you'll still be just as married after all is said and done.

Happy Planning!

The decision to send save-the-dates to our guests was one that was made earlier on in the wedding planning process. For us, three major factors came into play:

1. The majority of our wedding guests are traveling from another state.
2. Our wedding date falls on a three-day holiday weekend during a month that many people opt to make vacation plans.
3. I just so happen to think that stationery is awesome!

Of course, I don't recommend that every engaged couple send out a save-the-date, but it is a nice courtesy to give your guests a heads up to prepare for the big day.

Save-the-dates typically go out six months prior to the wedding date allowing ample time for guests to request vacation time from work, make travel arrangements, and in some cases, save money.

à deux: bespoke bridal paper

Other tips to keep in mind when sending off your save-the-dates...

• Send a save-the-date announcement to guests that you definitely want to come to your wedding. Clearly mark the outer envelopes with the names of all invited guests to minimize any confusion later on. For example, if you don't want children to attend, the save-the-date is your opportunity to make that message clear.
• Formal vs. Informal? Don't worry about it. It's YOUR choice. If you don't want to put your last names on the save-the-date then don't. Let the save-the-date show your personality. Get creative. The Mister and I chose to tell the story of how we met in ours. Our guests loved reading about it when they received the yummy stationery in the mail!
  
  
• Finally, get organized prior to sending out your save-the-dates. It took us over a month to gather addresses and finalize our guest list before we were ready to send out our cards. By the way, I highly recommend the website Postable for keeping track of addresses. It's extremely user friendly, secure, and a fab way to keep all of your guests addresses at your fingertips!

Engaged couples out there, are you sending save-the-dates to your guests? Share your ideas and tips.

Assembling a group of women for an afternoon of oohing and aahing over lace and chiffon is not my idea of fun. Couple that with a Maid of Honor having a bad day and you've just been given access to how I spent my weekend.

This past Sunday was meant to be a trial run for my bridal party to gather together to try on dresses. All was going swimmingly until...

The Maid of Honor had a moment.

I could hear the moral support seeping out of the fitting room like a wounded hot air balloon. There we were standing next to a pile of sequined tops and one-shoulder strappy gowns having an uncomfortable exchange in front of the entire bridal party. Her flippant remarks caught me off guard. She is supposed to be my maid of honor, but what was so honorable about her behavior on that day?

We read about the duties of the Maid of Honor in countless articles written to appease the average bride-to-be. These responsibilities vary and include tasks as simple as holding the bride's bouquet during the ceremony to more complex roles such as planning a bachelorette party or bridal shower luncheon.

My personal favorite duty is when the Maid of Honor is simply there for you. No strings attached. She honors you during this important time in your life. She honors the decisions you are making. She honors you by listening. She honors you by understanding. She's there to alleviate the stress and, in some cases, she's there to make you laugh.

Typically, a reliable sister or long-time BFF will float to the top of the list of viable candidates to step into the role of Maid (or Matron, and in some cases Man) of Honor. The logical choice is to select the person who knows you best and can step up and be the chief attendant on your big day. Choose this person wisely. The decision could make or break your wedding day!

I bet I'm not alone on this topic. Readers, care to share any of your own Maid of Honor experiences? Leave a comment below.

It's good to know we're not alone.

Over the weekend I learned that the Mister and I represent part of the 42% of Americans living in the Northeast who are paying for their own wedding.

Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for EVERYTHING. Well, I take that back. The groom's parents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner and other small things here and there, but tradition states that the bride and her family come out of pocket the most during the wedding planning stage.

In our case, tradition has left the building. Actually, it never even stepped foot in the building.

Shortly after we got engaged, we had the inevitable money talk. It was during that conversation that we decided our wedding would be financed with our own money, on our own terms. A joint savings account was opened and we both set aside money from our paychecks to put towards paying for the wedding and goals beyond the wedding.

Yay to being grown ups!

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking my family to pay for our wedding. It's our wedding. Think about it. If you and your partner are both stable and functioning adults then why would you want your parents to pay for everything?

Our parents are pretty awesome, though. My mother gave me a choice. My dress or the honeymoon. I chose my dress which I plan to keep under a certain budget out of respect for her. The Mister's mother has agreed to help defray the costs of our reception in order to accommodate the out-of-country relatives she added to our guest list. And for this, we are extremely grateful!

Are you and your partner paying for your own wedding?

Happy Planning!

The countdown begins. I am getting married in ten months. That's 39 weeks, 277 days, 6648 hours, and approximately $20,000 away!

Welcome to my world.

Cotton of Maureen Cotton Weddings

One of my favorite photos from our engagement photo session taken in Copley Square, next to Trinity Church.

Let's be frank: if I had a dollar for every bit of advice I've received from relatives, friends, and even strangers about how our wedding should be, I'd have enough in the bank to pay for the entire day. The goal over the next ten months is to stay true to what is important to the Mister and me, and not what everyone else wants. So far, I'm discovering this is easier said than done...

I'm Expertly Engaged. Expert simply because I am a 'semi-retired' day-of wedding coordinator planning my own wedding. My guy proposed last May. We plan to exchange vows in October. Everything in between will be chronicled in this blog. Some entries will make you laugh, others may cause you to break out in hives. The reality is wedding planning is unpredictable, not for the faint of heart!

I'm turning my filter off in an attempt to let you know how real this journey is. Through my experiences I hope to educate, enlighten, entertain, and even inspire those who may be deep in the trenches of planning a wedding. Or maybe you're just obsessed with weddings. This blog is for you, too.

Sit back and enjoy the next ten months with me. You may not get an invitation to the wedding but at least you can say you were a part of the process!