It's been a tough news week. Let's end it on a positive note.

It's the fourth week of "After the Altar," my summer blog series dedicated to celebrating the union of marriage and the beauty of love. Every Friday during June and July, I will highlight a married couple who will bravely share their challenges, triumphs, and secrets to wedded bliss.

We often focus on the work that goes into the wedding day -- the invitations, the cake, the dress, the guests. Let's give equal attention to the 'work' that takes place after the altar.

Boston.com, meet Debby and Bruce.

Before we begin, let's raise a glass to Debby and Bruce. Next week they celebrate 20 years of marriage. Some of you may remember them from this article about extinguishing the anti-marriage movement that appeared in the Boston Globe last year. Today we continue the conversation with them and learn more of their wisdom and tips on how to maintain a long and happy marriage.

Expertly Engaged: How did you meet?

Debby & Bruce: At the bar at Dali Restaurant on the Somerville/Cambridge line.

Debby: I had ended a long-term relationship a year earlier and had no interest in ever being in a relationship again. Yet when I arrived early to meet friends at Dali, and decided to sit at the bar while I waited, I couldn't help but notice this really cute guy next to me. He was engaged in an intense conversation with a woman who I presumed was his girlfriend. I eavesdropped and with just about every word fell for his sense of humor. I remember thinking, "Now, if I could be with a guy like that, maybe I'd reconsider." When my friends arrived, it turned out they knew the woman he was with. We were introduced. The rest is history.

Bruce: She walked in and asked the bartender for a ginger ale. He said they didn't have any and she immediately said, "OK, give me a beer." I thought that was hilarious and said so. Before long we were talking (I remember it as being before being introduced by the friends) and laughing at a variety of off-color and off-beat humor points. I was very interested and when she had the brass to call me the next morning, I knew this was a girl I wanted to know.

Expertly Engaged: If you could describe marriage in one word, what would you say?

Debby & Bruce: We can't agree on "journey" or "evolution." It's a "process," but that word's too unsexy.

Expertly Engaged: I once heard that a happy marriage requires more maintenance than a car. How do you maintain a happy and healthy marriage after 20 years?

Debby & Bruce: See the other person as separate, with their own goals, quirks, and baggage, and find a way to balance their needs with your own. Remember how fortunate you are to have found each other and how the other has helped you become the (better) person you are today. Do not expect a problem-free marriage, but rather learn how to navigate and communicate your way through the inevitable rough spots. And always make time to be together as a couple, doing things you both love.

Expertly Engaged: Has being marriage enhanced any part of your life as individuals? If so, what part?

Debby: I came to our relationship with an inability to navigate conflict or deal with anger. Bruce had zero tolerance for the cold shoulder or sweeping issues under the rug so I quickly (though not easily) learned to face our differences of opinion head on. He also didn't conform to the strict social code of my childhood, so I had to learn that there are many ways of being in the world, and mine wasn't necessarily the only or best way. Finally, he's the most fun person on the planet. I think I'd have become an uptight old lady if he hadn't come along and loosened me up.

Bruce: Although I am indeed a wonderful person, I was wrong in thinking I was right about most things. Debby, through the kind of blunt advice only a best friend can give, encouraged me to do something, by myself, to learn why I kept unhappily crashing against the same things in my life. She made it safe for me to let down my guard and evolve, the process of which began during a week-long personal retreat.

Expertly Engaged: What advice would you give to all the newlywed and soon-to-be-wed out there?

Debby & Bruce: Learn the benefits of not digging in your heels. Expect to learn things about yourself rather than win arguments for yourself. Look for ways to take marriage seriously and not too seriously all at once. Keep your friends--you'll need them.

Do you know a married couple whose relationship is all that and a bag of chips? Is your marriage blog-worthy and feature ready for After the Altar? Email me. I'd love to hear your story.

We've made it to the third week of "After the Altar," my summer blog series dedicated to celebrating the union of marriage and the beauty of love. Every Friday during June and July, I will highlight a married couple who will bravely share their challenges, triumphs, and secrets to wedded bliss.

We often focus on the work that goes into the wedding day -- the invitations, the cake, the dress, the guests. Let's give equal attention to the 'work' that takes place after the altar.

Boston.com, meet Feyisara and Hans.

Feyisara described the day Hans proposed as magical. In June 2010 the couple took a trip to an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic with some of their closest friends. Hans planned a romantic five-course dinner for two on the beach at sunset (fellas, are you taking notes?). After Feyisara was serenaded by the waiter, Hans professed his undying love for her, got on his knee in the Dominican sand, and asked for her hand in marriage! Feyisara recalls being completely shocked, but enthusiastically shouted "YES! YES!" It was perfection.

Expertly Engaged: How do you make it work 'after the altar'?

Feyisara & Hans: Marriage is definitely work. The type of work you make it depends on you. It can be fun work and hard work. The key to our success so far has been communication, being prayerful, and selflessness. We believe in God and we believe that he brought us together. We go to church together, pray together, and seek spiritual counsel when necessary. Neither one of us is a mind reader, so being willing to openly communicate your feelings is key to making our marriage work.

Expertly Engaged: Do you believe in date nights? Do you have other rituals or special activities that you reserve for one another?

Feyisara & Hans: Yes. We absolutely believe in date nights! We even developed an 'envelope system' to keep money allocated each month for us to spend on enjoying ourselves as a couple. In 2006, we started a ritual that we will always spend Christmas Eve night with each other as well as New Year's Eve together.

Expertly Engaged: Any advice for other newlyweds out there?

Feyisara & Hans: Even though it sounds cliche, communication is very important. Be patient with each other. It takes time and work to learn and understand your partner's communication style!

Do you know a married couple whose relationship is all that and a bag of chips? Is your marriage blog-worthy and feature ready for After the Altar? Email me. I'd love to hear your story.

Happy first day of summer to all you beer-loving couples out there.

The limited edition Samuel Adams Brewlywed Ale is back by popular demand and will be available for sale on June 26 exclusively at the Boston Brewery. Created to celebrate the tradition of brewing at weddings, Brewlywed Ale is an alternative to the wine and cocktail selections found at most traditional weddings. The limited release, Belgian-style "bride ale" offers layers of flavor including tropical, floral aromas of Summer and Stella hops with subtle hints of spice.

Want in on this beer? Arrive early! There will only be 300 cases available for sale.

Here's a peek at the schedule:

Brewlywed Ale Day – Samuel Adams Boston Brewery, 30 Germania Street

WHEN: Wednesday, June 26, 2013; 9:00am – 1:00pm

7:00AM: Line up early. The first 50 people in line have the opportunity to purchase a bottle signed by Jim Koch. The first 20 people to arrive in bridal attire will be moved to the front of the line (guaranteeing one of those bottles!)

9:00AM: Toast from Jim Koch, brewery doors open and Samuel Adams Brewlywed Ale is for sale (while it lasts.)

9:00AM-1:00PM: Sampling of beer-infused wedding fare and pairing suggestions from local small business owners who are members of the Samuel Adams Brewing the American Dream program, wedding advice from Anja Winikka, site director of TheKnot.com, wedding vendors, giveaways, a digital wedding photo booth and a justice of the peace at the brewery until 1 pm, maybe even some weddings!

1:00PM: Last call for alcohol. Brewlywed doors close at 1 p.m. (If any beer remains, drinkers may purchase at the brewery gift shop until 4 pm)

Happy Friday and welcome to another week of "After the Altar," my new summer blog series dedicated to celebrating the union of marriage and the beauty of love. Every Friday during June and July, I will highlight a married couple who will bravely share their challenges, triumphs, and secrets to wedded bliss.

We often focus on the work that goes into the wedding day -- the invitations, the cake, the dress, the guests. Let's give equal attention to the 'work' that takes place after the altar.

This week’s couple holds a special place in my heart because we share the same wedding date!

Boston.com, meet Kaidi and Chris.

Roxbury couple Kaidi and Chris first met in the seventh grade. The year was 1982. Kaidi recalls that even back then there was a lovable romance and shares a time when a chance encounter led to a sweet kiss after school. They both joke and say that kiss was the ‘seed of their love.’ The couple reconnected in 1988. From that point forward a deep and passionate courtship began. Both shared a desire for justice worldwide and participated in boycotts against corporations in support of apartheid and fought racial injustice during the Charles Stuart case in the 80s. While students at Northeastern University, Chris realized that he couldn’t live his life without Kaidi. The couple wed on October 12, 1991.

Expertly Engaged: Longevity in a marriage takes work. How do you make is work 22 years ‘after the altar’?

Kaidi & Chris: This October will make 22 years of marriage. We’ve had great pastors, mentors, and elders who we owe so much. They encourage us to communicate, be considerate of one another, and make a lot of love! One principle that we practice in our relationship is to ALWAYS put our marriage first and parenting as a close second. We don’t allow the children to disintegrate our relationship (and those who have children can certainly relate to this one)! Specific things that help us keep the fire burning hot include listening to our favorite love songs from the 70s and 80s, working out and keeping our bodies fit, virtual flirting (yes…sexting), and allowing each other space to breathe and then coming back together again.

Expertly Engaged: Do you believe in date nights? Do you have other rituals or special activities that you reserve for one another?

Kaidi & Chris: Date night, smate night! We believe in sporadic getaways more than your standard date nights. We love to find low-key places to walk and share intellect. We love to worship and meditate in nature. We sing songs to each other and share our dreams and goals with each other.

Expertly Engaged: Any advice for all the newlyweds and soon-to-be newlyweds out there?

Kaidi & Chris: Our advice would be to make sure the foundation of your relationship is built on solid ground and not sand. The storms of life will tear down marriages built on fantasy. Our marriage is built on the teachings of Christ. This ancient wisdom has stood the test of 2,000+ years and has yielded us the most exciting and visceral experiences ever. At the end of the day it’s all about reconciliation and putting the other’s needs before your own. Enjoy your friendship and be explorative!

Want more of Kaidi and Chris? Check out their new vlog series, For Lovers Only, launching next month on YouTube and Facebook!

Do you know a married couple whose relationship is all that and a bag of chips? Is your marriage blog-worthy and feature ready for After the Altar? Email me. I'd love to hear your story.

If you’re a bride-to-be chances are you’ve stalked Lover.ly, the highly addictive new resource where brides and grooms can "search, save, shop and share all things wedding all in one place."

Recently, I sat down with bridal maven Kellee Khalil, CEO and founder of Lover.ly, and chatted about her website, trends in the bridal industry, and wedding world domination.

What motivated you to start Lover.ly?

KK: I was inspired to start Lover.ly after going through the wedding planning process with my sister. I was her maid of honor, and I jokingly say sometimes the ‘Slave of Honor’ because it was 18 months of work – really hard work! We spent hours searching for inspiration and ideas and once we figured out the theme and color palette for the wedding, it was impossible to find a bridesmaid dress or accessories or hire the right florist to do the job. Most women experience this pain when planning a wedding, but our situation was unique. My sister runs Be Inspired PR and has access to some of the top wedding vendors in the industry yet we were STILL experiencing a hard time organizing it all! Everything in wedding planning requires a lot of detail and planning.

What should brides-to-be know about Lover.ly? How do you get on the website and search?

KK: Loverly is set up to simplify the process. We want it to be a delightful experience and not overwhelming for our users. Our homepage is updated five or six times a day with highly-curated content to help users get inspired for their wedding. One of the most popular features is exploring different color palettes and options from the color bar. Another fun new feature that just launched last week is a shuffle button called “Surprise Me.” Lover.ly’s shop portal has over 200,000 products from 1,800 brands to allow brides to shop directly from the website. It’s a great way to dive in and get inspired.

I recently downloaded the Lover.ly app onto my iPad. How important was it for you to move into the mobile market?

KK: For Lover.ly, we want to be where our brides are. Last year, 20% of our users accessed the website via their mobile phones. This year that amount increased to 30%.

What are the top three wedding trends this week?

KK: The color mint is still quite popular right now. There has also been a general shift back to traditional and classic weddings. The art deco and 1920s look (thanks to the movie, Great Gatsby) is still quite popular, too!

One of my favorite articles on you was in Forbes where you discussed the notion of being a woman in the tech world and tearing down the ‘pink ghetto.’ What does being a woman in the tech world mean to you?

KK: When I first started Lover.ly I was really naïve to the fact that women were seen differently than men. I came from the world of finance where it was all about performance – you sold the most, made the most, and it garnered you the most respect. Initially, when I first entered the tech world I didn’t realize there was such a disconnect between me walking into a meeting and people instantly discounting me because I am a girl and because I like to wear pink lipstick and stilettos. I had to push that much harder so that people could think that I was credible. I believe in the importance of mentoring, especially other women who may be starting out as entrepreneurs. Often times it’s just about being visible and showing people that you are out there doing the work.

What does the next six months and beyond hold for Lover.ly?

KK: We’re on a mission of total wedding world domination! So, that’s the long-term plan. In the next six months our focus is to continue to make our product more useful and helpful for women. We want to simplify this overwhelming process. We are constantly listening to our users, vendors, and partners to get feedback on what they would like to see to make the site better. We are continuing to work on updates to the mobile app. As far as the website, we plan to onboard new brand partners and layer on new features and tools to enhance the user experience. We are focused on making wedding planning easy for all parties involved: guests, relatives of the couple, and all the non-bride super users out there.

Bridal besties, the days of lugging around that dinosauric 3-ring binder are over. Dive in and get inspired by Lover.ly today!

Kelli, thank you for an amazing interview.

Readers, be sure to check out my ‘loves’ and ‘bundles’ at The Bridal BFF on Lover.ly.

Introducing "After the Altar," my new summer blog series dedicated to celebrating the union of marriage and the beauty of love. Every Friday during June and July, I will highlight a married couple who will bravely share their challenges, triumphs, and secrets to wedded bliss.

We often focus on the work that goes into the wedding day -- the invitations, the cake, the dress, the guests. Let's give equal attention to the 'work' that takes place after the altar.

Boston.com, meet Alicia and Kasim.

Dorchester couple Alicia and Kasim met in 2009 during a New Year's Eve church service. They exchanged vows in 2011. During my interview with the couple, Kasim vividly shared how special it was when Alicia surprised him with a sweet serenade and a live band on their wedding day. Alicia's unforgettable moments on that day include walking down the aisle and lovingly looking into her husband's eyes while singing along with him during their first dance. How romantic!

Expertly Engaged: What are some of the biggest challenges/adjustments that you are facing after the altar?

Alica & Kasim: Co-parenting and adapting to two lives becoming one.Your life is not your own anymore so understanding that now it's about building your lives together and not just thinking "ME, ME, ME!" Your mentality has to change. Communication, of course, is a work in progress.

Expertly Engaged: What qualities are key to having a happy and healthy marriage?

Alicia & Kasim: Prayer, communication, friendship, commitment to each other, learning how to forgive, learning to not hold onto things that will bother you, and having fun with each other. If you can't laugh through it then it's going to be really hard. Understand that you both compliment each other and that no one is perfect. Treat each other with love even during the hard times.

Expertly Engaged: Any advice for other newlyweds out there?

Alicia & Kasim: Be life partners, work at it together, be willing to fight for your marriage because tests will come. Accept each other for who you really are and not for what you want that person to be; commitment and love is a decision, decide to win. Sprinkle love and kindness even in the midst of anger; agree to always make up; it's not always about being right it's about hearing each other out and acknowledging each others different perspectives.

Alicia: Ladies, men need romance, too!

Kasim: Men, show your wife the reason why she married you. Don't get too comfortable with each other!

Alicia & Kasim: Above all, pray for each other daily and keep God first and you will not go wrong.

Do you know a married couple whose relationship is all that and a bag of chips? Is your marriage blog-worthy and feature ready for After the Altar? Email me. I'd love to hear your story.

So, when should an engaged couple's parents meet? Would it be too late to make the introduction at the wedding? Is it rare for parents to not meet before the wedding?

These questions came up during a recent conversation over a slab of ribs at a Memorial Day cookout I attended at my FMIL's (future mother-in-law) house. The ribs were amazing. The barrage of questions from the FMIL inquiring why she hasn't met my mother yet -- not so much. I was slightly stressed out by it all!

Needless to say, the FMIL is anxious to meet my mother. The introduction hasn't happened yet. It's not because I don't want it to. It just hasn't happened. Yet.

My mother works all the time. His mother is retired. The last get together we attempted to arrange was at our catering tasting a few months ago. My mother picked up an extra shift at work so the meeting never happened. And with four months to go, the Mister and I realize that we have to try harder to set up this parental meet and greet to avoid any uncomfortable feelings on our wedding day.

For the record, we've met each other's families. They've just never been in the same room together. Family is important to both of us. It's one of the main reasons why we are having this wedding. We want our families to celebrate this special time with us. If not for our families, we would have eloped a long time ago! I personally don't think it would be the worst thing in the world if our mothers met on the wedding day.

Boston.com, help me out with this one. When did you introduce your parents to the future in-laws? Any other married couples out there wait until the wedding day?

Just when I thought I had my 'Tarjay' addiction under control...

On Tuesday, Target launched TEVOLIO, a new collection of bridal wear sold exclusively on Target.com. TEVOLIO features a line of four affordable wedding dresses ranging in price from $69.99 to $129.99 -- budget-conscious brides-to-be everywhere rejoice! In addition to the bridal gown styles, TEVOLIO also features customizable dresses for the entire bridal party.

I enjoy the simple and modern design aesthetic coming out of this collection. These dresses would be ideal for a summer elopement or a carefree and casual outdoor wedding. Target is also becoming a more preferred place where fashionista-in-training types go to shop on a dime.

Noteworthy point: TEVOLIO offers each gown in a range of sizes spanning from 2 to 18!

This news comes just in time as I prepare to go wedding dress shopping tomorrow (I know, I'm cutting it way too close to the wedding date!). I hope to find the perfect dress for me, but it's good to know Target is providing a cost-effective back-up plan!

Check out the collection here.

After receiving a few semi-aggressive inbox messages from a friend of a family member inquiring about whether or not she is invited to our wedding, we recently had to let her know that she will not be receiving an invitation. At first, I felt terrible for not being able to invite her. Then I read up on the latest statistics on how much wedding guests spend on each wedding they attend and I felt alot better about our decision.

She should thank us. We saved her wallet!

Earlier this month, American Express released a survey stating that wedding guests can expect to spend an average of $539 for each wedding they attend in 2013. That's a hefty increase of $200 from last year. A huge portion of this amount goes towards travel expenses, a new outfit and accessories for those aiming to be the most fashionable guest in the building, and the purchase of a wedding gift.

Spending that type of cash per wedding adds up, but it's a consequence of having friends at the average marrying age who are, well, getting married all in the same year!

These figures surprised me. I've been so consumed with making sure that the Mister and I stay within a healthy budget that it never occurred to me that our invited guests share similar challenges.

My curiosity led me to poll my Facebook friends to find out how many weddings they were attending this year. The highest count came in at four. I thought that was an excessive amount until I read about this guy. If Jeremy Wallace were an actual real person, he would get a "Friend of the Year" award. The fictitious story alleges that he has spent every weekend for the past three years attending weddings! Whoa. What about this guy? Poor Christopher Sledzik. CNN reported that he spent over $10K during a whirlwind wedding season in 2012. Yikes!

Chime in, readers. Are you on course to beat Jeremy Wallace's record? Or are you racking up debt like Christopher Sledzik trying to keep up with the wedding goer Joneses? How many weddings do you have lined up this season?

Every engaged couple deserves a sacred place where wedding chitchat is both embraced and celebrated. That place is the Boston Bridal Lounge.

Located on posh Newbury Street, Boston Bridal Lounge is the ultimate one-stop shop for all things wedding. During a recent visit, I met co-founder Eleni Granas and wedding adviser, Liz Romano, who graciously invited me to drop by and dish on the progress of my wedding plans. Within minutes, I received referrals for a florist, baker, and places to host a rehearsal dinner. Eleni and Liz made me feel incredibly comfortable, and trust me when I tell you, they know their stuff!

Decorated with lush tablescapes, inspiring vision boards, and binders full of valuable vendor referrals, the boutique is designed to provide engaged couples with inspiration and resources to help plan a smooth and seamless wedding day. Couples can also tap into the talents of the Boston Bridal Lounge team who offer in-house wedding planning services. I was impressed, and I left feeling rejuvenated with new ideas and a pocketful of vendor contacts to help the Mister and I as we enter the home stretch of our own planning. Five months to go...and counting!

Boston Bridal Lounge is located at 125 Newbury Street. Schedule a complimentary appointment today by visiting www.bostonbridallounge.com.

Beyonce said it best when she sang, "if you liked it than you should have put a ring on it."

However, a recent survey by Coldwell Banker Real Estate reveals that the game has changed. In fact, 1 in 4 married millennials (ages 18-34) purchased their homes before purchasing an engagement ring. For some young couples, buying a home together has become "the new engagement ring," says Robi Ludwig, Coldwell Banker's "lifestyle correspondent" and psychotherapist who assisted with the study.

The tune has changed. Now it sounds more like, "if you like it then you better put a back yard, porch, granite countertops, and finished basement on it."

As with getting married, purchasing a home is a major life event. The happily ever after that we all strive for comes with alot of hard work. Prepare to have honest conversations about finances with your partner before deciding to purchase a home together. For some, that may include admitting to the secret bank account you use for the occasional Nordstrom Rack shopping spree or sharing the details of your debt with the person you're about to spend the rest of your life with.

Another good practice is to set realistic priorities. If it's an uber-chic wedding that you both desire, have it. If it's an ultra-modern, yummy new home, go for it. Keep your eyes on the end result together and it will strengthen your bond.

The Mister and I are getting married first. Our goal is to own a home together before our second wedding anniversary. I've been a lifelong renter. He owns a condo that we both live in now. Life is good and it's about to get a whole lot better!

Boston.com readers, what do you think? Did you purchase your home before getting married or did you wait until after the wedding?

Photo Credit: iStock Photo

As we slowly shift gears and get back to normal in Boston, I wanted to share a quick wedding planning update. We finally chose a caterer! The Mister and I are incredibly excited to work with East Coast Grill in Cambridge for our reception. Their bold flavors and friendly, casual atmosphere are a perfect fit for the vibe we want our guests to feel on our wedding day. Shout out to ECG's catering team with Catering Director, Becky, at the helm. She has been a joy to work with.

Next item on the checklist: Wedding dress shopping. Oh joy!

Engaged couples, how's your wedding planning coming along? Drop a few lines in the Comments section and share any trials and triumphs you are experiencing.

It has been a difficult day and week for Bostonians.

My fiance' and I want to send out our heartfelt condolences to those impacted by the devastation brought to our city. Our prayers are with the Richard family, who live in the same neighborhood we call home, and the other families who lost loved ones this week.

Our prayers are with the over 180 people injured during the bombing on Monday and to all the first responders who have remained steadfast and courageous as they continue to protect our city. RIP Sean Collier.

Our prayers are with Patrick Downes and Jessica Kensky Downes, the local newlywed couple who both lost their left leg below the knee as they watched the Boston Marathon at the finish line when the deadly bombs were detonated. Their story hit me to the core, a beautiful couple with so much to look forward to now have a long road of recovery ahead.

Emotions are high. Our city is bruised, but we are NOT broken. Boston is home to some of the best and brightest. We are a proud city. We breed innovation. Heck, we breed future Presidents and leaders. We are the city of champions. Don't ever forget that.

Boston, I love you. We love you.

Okay. Perhaps hate is a strong word. Let me explain.

I recently read "Why Should Married Women Change Their Names? Let Men Change Theirs" penned by Guardian columnist Jill Filipovic. The article left me feeling a tinge of hateration toward my choice to add the Mister's name to my own after we get married. It led me to wonder how my feminist crusader-type friends would react to my choice. Through research on the topic, I discovered that everyone from feminists to traditionalists, conservatives to liberals, and average Joes to average Janes have an opinion on the matter!

Let's begin with Filipovic's point of view. In her article, she states that our names are part of our identity and to change them is to give up the most "basic marker" of who we are. She goes on to explain that she understands why women do it given the social judgement of a sexist culture we work so hard to lean in to every day of our existence as womankind.

Then the article took an interesting turn. After stating that she gets it, she proceeds to criticize women who change their last names by saying the reasons we give are not good enough, they make no sense. The always popular response of "We want our family to share a name" or "His last name sounds better" are just excuses.

The article closes with a push to challenge men to change their last names. Hmph. I guess if Jay-Z did it, every man should.

I struggled with accepting Filipovic's article as the gospel and decided to poll my Facebook friends, coworkers, and even people I sat next to on the train. Surprisingly, most people agree with Filipovic. Many women in my circle kept their names or are choosing to keep them after marriage, with some doing the hypenation thing, and a nearly extinct few dropping their names completely.

Eeek! I may be outnumbered on this one.

My reason for deciding to add his name is simple: it's MY choice. How's that for a feminist stance? I don't subscribe to the notion that changing my last name means that my identity is gone forever. The addition of his name does not result in the subtraction of who I am as a person. I'll still be me.

Boston.com, what do YOU think?

Women: Did you or do you plan to change your last name once married?
Why or why not?

Men: Did you or would you pull a Jay-Z and take on your wife's last name? Why or why not?

Same sex couples: Where do you stand on the issue?

Last weekend while stalking some of my favorite wedding blogs, I came across a post highlighting a couple who had a stunning wedding. The bride wore an expensive gown, the groom looked dapper in his suit. The ceremony took place atop a mountain set next to a farmhouse. The photographer captured still shots of a beautiful bouquet and a well-appointed tablescape. The photos chronicled a truly romantic ceremony, but one thing was missing -- there wasn't a guest in sight!

Wedding planners are calling this trend weddings-for-two, pre-planned elopements where couples wed in private with all the frills of a celebration for 200 people, but a guest list of zero.

Some might call this trend oxymoronic and question why a couple would spend thousands of dollars and countless hours obsessing over details that will never be experienced by a single guest. Others may question whether or not it truly is a wedding-for-two if the photos end up on a blog (or Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) for millions of viewers to see, including the family and friends of the couple, who probably feel slightly offended that they weren't part of the day.

Research on the topic led me to a recent story covered on TODAY. Freelance writer and editor Wendy Grossman Kantor offers readers a candid account of why some couples are choosing to ditch the guest list in exchange for the fancy elopement.

According to the couples Kantor interviewed for the article: no guests equal no stress. Clearly, the newer generation of engaged couples are making their own rules. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we're actually paying for our own weddings, so why not get exactly what we want. For some, that 'want' means spending their budget on creating a day that's more about them and less about the distant cousins, coworkers, neighbors and their plus ones.

Personally, I can't wait to hit the dance floor at our reception and Cupid Shuffle with all of our wedding guests! Guests bring the fun factor. You can't have a party without them!

Last week I had a health scare. A not-so-friendly reminder that I am only one person who can only do one thing at a time. A wake-up call that my fiance' is not marrying Wonder Woman, but a woman who does constantly wonder how married life will be after all the hoopla of this wedding planning is behind us.

The answer to that question came in the form of a trip to the ER.

I wouldn't quite recommend this as a date night option, but sitting in the emergency room with your fiance' all day has a way of bringing you closer together. During my sick episode, the Mister was a rock star. He showed me the man I'm engaged to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I got a glimpse of what our lives will be like forty years from now when we are old and gray.

Love is truly patient. Love is indeed kind.

As a friend who sent a text message last week to check up on me put it, "I see you gave him a test drive in living the vows...in sickness and health." I guess I did. He passed the test with flying colors, and with 201 days to go, I can't wait to say...

"I, Expertly Engaged, take you, Mister, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life..."

Engaged couples: what has been your 'living the vows' moment during wedding planning?

I have a feeling today's post will make a few of you cringe, but before you sound off with all the lovely comments that always make me feel so warm and fuzzy (not!), take a gander at where Boston ranks in this spending spree.

Recently, wedding website TheKnot.com released results from a survey of over 17,000 couples who spent an average of $28,427 on wedding expenses in 2012, the highest cost since 2008.

Bostonians ranked high on the big spenders list with an average wedding budget of $39,239, just a few notches shy of Manhattan where couples spent a hefty price tag of $76,687. If you are looking to bump elbows with the frugal crowd, grab your winter fur and head out to Alaska where the average wedding cost $15,504 last year.

Why so expensive, you ask?

TheKnot.com's site director, Anja Winikka, attributes these high costs to a trend in 2012 tokened as "the year of the guest." Newlyweds dished out more money to add extras such as photo booths, transportation, unique venues, morning-after brunches, and elaborate reception menus to wow guests.

Another budget buster? The stateside destination wedding. In 2012, more couples foot the bill to plan three-day weekend events. Out-of-town guests not only flew in to witness the nuptials, but were also treated to a full schedule of activities leading up to the "I dos."

Boston, what do you think of these stats?

Did you attend one of these pricey weddings in 2012? Or, are you one of the newlyweds who spent big in 2012?

At the recommendation of a friend, I recently had my first eyelash extension appointment to test them out for a potential wedding day look. I'm IN LOVE with them. My eyelashes look so natural, they feel incredibly lightweight, and I'm now a believer that every blushing bride should give major lash action on her wedding day.

Photo Credit: Erik Umphrey

Before you book an appointment to try your own set of lash extenders, consider these tips.

Go to an expert. Do your homework and schedule a consultation with a licensed esthetician. I'll even let you borrow my amazing lash artist. Ask for Chanell at Pigmenta (218 Newbury Street). She's a master at applying full lush lashes. The cost for eyelash extensions is between $120 - $200.

Keep water from your face for the first 24 hours. In other words, don't schedule a hot yoga session right after you get your lashes done. With proper maintenance, eyelash extensions can last up to 30 days.

Make sure your lashes match your 'style'. Maybe you're not going for the Jersey Shore Snooki look for your big day. All lashes don't have to be over-the-top and super dramatic. Work with your lash artist to find a length and thickness that's just right for you.

No mascara needed. If you must, use non-waterproof mascara. Mascara tends to shorten the life of your extensions. Be gentle when applying mascara, too. Try not to pull or tug at the lashes.

It's your wedding day. Flutter and bat your eyes to your heart's content!

Expertly engaged tip - If you're a bride on a budget, check out the makeup aisle at your local CVS or Walgreens for a pair of DIY eyelash strips.

Are you wearing eyelash extensions for your wedding day?

Readers, meet Aidan.

Photo Credit: Ellen Chang, Jenny Yoo

This convertible chiffon A-line gown by Jenny Yoo is gorgeous and very flattering for a bridal party that comes in all shapes and sizes.

The coolest feature on this gown? You can create over 15 different looks with two convertible panels that can be styled for each bridesmaid. If one of your bridesmaids is a little self-conscious about going strapless, just pull the convertible panels up and give her a draped one shoulder wrap! One dress, endless possibilities.

My party is small with only three women, but they range in size and personality so I knew choosing one uniform look wouldn't work well. I decided on a color and allowed the ladies to choose their own dress. Hands down, the Aidan won.

Expertly Engaged tip - If long gowns are not your thing, the shorter version of this dress is called Keira. To view the entire Jenny Yoo 2012 collection, click here.

Another Expertly Engaged tip - If you are in Boston and looking for Jenny Yoo dresses, you MUST go to Flair on Newbury Street. The boutique is very well-appointed and the service is top-notch. Shout out to Elaine who helped get my ladies fitted and ready for the big day.

Happy Planning!

Ever been to a 'dessert only' reception?

The idea came to my mind the other day as I examined three different catering proposals for our fall nuptials. I literally fell out of my seat in amazement over how costly it can be to feed guests at a reception. The whole ordeal left me saying to myself, "I wonder if our guests would be satisfied with just a Coke and a smile?"

Of course that wouldn't be enough. {le sigh!} So, what would be a good alternative to the sit-down formal meal that most guests expect at a reception?

Photos by Maureen Cotton Weddings

Instantly, I took to my Pinterest boards to 'get inspired' and that's when it hit me! Why not host an evening dessert and wine reception with a few passed appetizers for our guests to dine on in between yummy treats including a station with an assortment of pies and cheesecakes, a cupcake bar, a candy bar...all-sugar EVERYTHING. Our invitations would carefully indicate 'a dessert and wine reception' to let our guests know not to expect a full meal. We will also plan it to start later in the evening in order to give guests the option to eat a full meal before arriving.

Seven months to go and I think I've figured it out!

Yes, having a wedding is an expense. Our goal is to not let it get too expensive. A dessert reception allows you to be creative and explore more cost effective ways to have an amazing celebration.

The traditions of yesteryear are evolving and more modern-day engaged couples are following trends that will help save money. I'll drink (and have a big slice of chocolate cake) to that!

For more inspiration, check out these fab ideas in the Lifestyle section for pulling off a candy and dessert buffet at your own reception.

Happy planning!

Last week, a coworker sent me a link to an article about a new wedding trend that's drawing quite a bit of criticism in the wedding world: the anti-invite.

Call it harsh or downright rude, but in the article senior editor of TODAY, Rina Raphael, informs readers that more couples are sending out these alerts than you may think. In today's economy, those who are planning weddings are keeping a closer eye on their budgets which often means that the guest list is the first place to downsize. Add to that the fact that we are an "information oversharing generation," and many of us feel compelled to let people know everything... even stuff that's better left unsaid. Stuff like, "Actually, you're NOT invited to the wedding!"

The most amusing part of the article is when Raphael interviewed an anonymous bride who informed friends that they were placed on a waiting list for her wedding and would be notified if 'an opening' came up for a full invitation. These second-tier friends harbored some resentment, but STILL readily accepted the invite, even if they were labeled as 'B-list' friends.

Ha! What will they think of next?!

I don't think I'm feeling this trend. What happened to the days when non-guests just figured out they weren't invited when they simply didn't get a save the date in the mail?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these 'you're not invited' email alerts? Share your story by leaving a comment below.

Valentine's Day is right around the corner and you're engaged! Take a break from the wedding planning and treat your future husband/wife/partner to a special evening.

Here's my list of a few awesome things to do in and around Boston:

Darryl's Corner Bar and Kitchen, South End
The sign on the front of Darryl's Corner Bar and Kitchen reads "intersection of friends, food and music," and those are three words that the Mister and I live by. In fact, we first met at this cozy South End restaurant during a networking event, so naturally it holds a special place in our hearts. Check out the Valentine's Day Date Nights special that is being offered between Feb. 14th - 16th.

Expertly Engaged Tip: If you really want to spice things up with your fiance', check out Darryl's on Tuesdays from 8 PM -11 PM for Reggae Night!

Photo credit: Maureen Cotton Photography

Couples Massages at Bella Santé
Shoveling out of Nemo, wedding planning...Let Valentine's Day be your excuse to escape it all. Schedule a couples massage session complete with chocolates and champagne at Bella Santé's Wellesley or Lexington locations between Feb. 14th - 17th and prepare to hit 'play' on relaxation mode.

Mickalene Thomas Exhibit at the Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA)
If you and your boo are part of the artsy scene, a visit to the ICA this week to check out New York-based artist Mickalene Thomas is a must. The Mister and I caught her exhibit last fall at the Brooklyn Museum and it was an amazingly rich display of paintings adorned with rhinestone and acrylic. Located on the Boston waterfront, the ICA is a visually stunning building and will leave a lasting impression. The Mickalene Thomas exhibit runs through April 7th.

Late Night Dessert at The Fireplace, Brookline
Head to this upscale yet cozy spot in Brookline for a dessert nightcap to end your Valentine's Day night. Order the Sweet Little Bites selection from the menu and share a pair of yummy doughnuts and snuggle up next to the fireplace. Another great thing about this spot? A gluten-free menu option!

Whatever you decide to do this Thursday, do it with love. Happy Valentine's Day!

As millions of Americans watched the lights go out during last night's Superbowl, I couldn't help but wonder how I would react if that happened at our wedding.

I admit. A bit of worry set in. It didn't last long, but the slightly neurotic, inner-Bridezilla tendencies that I'm trying so hard to suppress began to set in.

As a coping mechanism, I took to the blogosphere to "stalk" stories of couples who dealt with power outages on their wedding day. I learned that many power outages were actually due to inclimate weather, and not electrifying halftime performances put on by Beyoncé. However, for the record, I would happily welcome the lights going out at our reception if Beyoncé came and performed "All the Single Ladies" right before I took my position to throw the bouquet!

But, I digress...

Next, I stopped by the good ol' Farmer's Almanac to research the probability of a classic New England Nor'easter touching down and causing a massive blackout during our reception. A huge sigh of relief came shortly after discovering that the forecast is looking awesome for our day, though my fingers are still crossed.

So, what should you do if the lights go out during your wedding?

If you're a planner like me, I suggest circling back with your vendors and find out how each would handle unexpected situations, including power outages. Check to make sure your venue has back-up generators and candles available. If you plan to hire a DJ, coordinate a time when he/she can go to the venue and take inventory of any additional equipment they might need. Remind your wedding planner to pack flashlights and a backup iPod, just in case.

A power outage is just one of those things that no one can predict. You can prepare as much as possible, but ultimately Mother Nature is in control. As long as you are surrounded by family and friends who love and know you best, you're good. No one will hold it against you, or question your ability to throw a great party!

Just remember to keep calm and marry on. Lights on or off, you'll still be just as married after all is said and done.

Happy Planning!

The decision to send save-the-dates to our guests was one that was made earlier on in the wedding planning process. For us, three major factors came into play:

1. The majority of our wedding guests are traveling from another state.
2. Our wedding date falls on a three-day holiday weekend during a month that many people opt to make vacation plans.
3. I just so happen to think that stationery is awesome!

Of course, I don't recommend that every engaged couple send out a save-the-date, but it is a nice courtesy to give your guests a heads up to prepare for the big day.

Save-the-dates typically go out six months prior to the wedding date allowing ample time for guests to request vacation time from work, make travel arrangements, and in some cases, save money.

à deux: bespoke bridal paper

Other tips to keep in mind when sending off your save-the-dates...

• Send a save-the-date announcement to guests that you definitely want to come to your wedding. Clearly mark the outer envelopes with the names of all invited guests to minimize any confusion later on. For example, if you don't want children to attend, the save-the-date is your opportunity to make that message clear.
• Formal vs. Informal? Don't worry about it. It's YOUR choice. If you don't want to put your last names on the save-the-date then don't. Let the save-the-date show your personality. Get creative. The Mister and I chose to tell the story of how we met in ours. Our guests loved reading about it when they received the yummy stationery in the mail!
  
  
• Finally, get organized prior to sending out your save-the-dates. It took us over a month to gather addresses and finalize our guest list before we were ready to send out our cards. By the way, I highly recommend the website Postable for keeping track of addresses. It's extremely user friendly, secure, and a fab way to keep all of your guests addresses at your fingertips!

Engaged couples out there, are you sending save-the-dates to your guests? Share your ideas and tips.

Assembling a group of women for an afternoon of oohing and aahing over lace and chiffon is not my idea of fun. Couple that with a Maid of Honor having a bad day and you've just been given access to how I spent my weekend.

This past Sunday was meant to be a trial run for my bridal party to gather together to try on dresses. All was going swimmingly until...

The Maid of Honor had a moment.

I could hear the moral support seeping out of the fitting room like a wounded hot air balloon. There we were standing next to a pile of sequined tops and one-shoulder strappy gowns having an uncomfortable exchange in front of the entire bridal party. Her flippant remarks caught me off guard. She is supposed to be my maid of honor, but what was so honorable about her behavior on that day?

We read about the duties of the Maid of Honor in countless articles written to appease the average bride-to-be. These responsibilities vary and include tasks as simple as holding the bride's bouquet during the ceremony to more complex roles such as planning a bachelorette party or bridal shower luncheon.

My personal favorite duty is when the Maid of Honor is simply there for you. No strings attached. She honors you during this important time in your life. She honors the decisions you are making. She honors you by listening. She honors you by understanding. She's there to alleviate the stress and, in some cases, she's there to make you laugh.

Typically, a reliable sister or long-time BFF will float to the top of the list of viable candidates to step into the role of Maid (or Matron, and in some cases Man) of Honor. The logical choice is to select the person who knows you best and can step up and be the chief attendant on your big day. Choose this person wisely. The decision could make or break your wedding day!

I bet I'm not alone on this topic. Readers, care to share any of your own Maid of Honor experiences? Leave a comment below.