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PSA: Dating doesn't "suck"

Posted by Karyn Polewaczyk  October 21, 2013 01:25 PM

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Dear singles of Boston,

I’d like to offer a brief, but important, PSA, especially as we begin to enter the often-dreaded holiday season: Dating does not suck.

I offer this in response to my experience this past weekend, where I went out with a friend to a bar (good), met a relatively attractive guy in the process (also good), wound up staying at the bar to talk to him after my friend left (heating up)—then realizing, halfway through our conversation, that we didn’t have much in common (meh) and that while he was good looking, he was kind of rude, and I wasn't attracted to him (it happens). So, I left, and was home, in bed, by 10 PM on a Saturday night.

Womp, womp.

When I recounted my weekend for another friend, including my experience with the guy at the bar, I could practically see her hands raise in protest during our phone call. “Guys suck!” she said, angry that I’d spent more than five minutes on a man who wound up being nothing more than a passing ship, as if I could have predicted his obsession with his cats (which, ultimately, was one of the things that turned me off, but to each their own) or that I couldn’t predict the lack of chemistry before he even said a word.

While I appreciate the empathy, I disagree. Guys don’t suck. And neither do women. What does, though, is the attitude that dating sucks. That, because you’ve gone on five dates with five guys and none of them have manifested into a boyfriend, that you’re doomed to be single forever. That if someone at a bar isn’t interested in you, you, therefore, are not interesting—and screw that person, anyway.

Or if things fizzle after awhile; texts and calls fade away, and invitations to dinner grind to a slow halt—that it’s okay to throw your own hands up and throw the opposite sex under a proverbial steamroller, operated by you and five of your closest brunch buddies.

I get that dating can be hard. Frustrating? I'll even call it puritanical, particularly in this neck of the woods. And, yes, there are certainly bad apples (and the feline-obsessed) out there. "Sucks" is a matter of semantics; you get the idea. But if you can’t have fun with it, and even enjoy the fact that not every budding romance will be much more than that, then you’re basically allowing your negative attitude (and other people's opinions, ahem) to dictate your dating life.

And that, I think, really sucks.

This blog is not written or edited by Boston.com or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

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About this blog

Karyn Polewaczyk lives and writes in Boston, and believes that heading out into that good night, like any adventure, begins with the first step. Let's Go Out is a conversation about dating and nightlife in our notoriously chilly city, with first-hand tips from the trenches. Karyn's writing, which focuses largely on women's lifestyle topics, has appeared in the Weekly Dig, Jezebel, xoJane, Northshore Magazine and More.com, among others. Follow her on Twitter at @KarynPolewaczyk.

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