Vow to add personal touches

“For the creative, a YouTube video can be a great way to get guests excited about the big day,’’ says Elizabeth Yin, who cofounded bridesmaid dress shopping site ShinyOrb.com. “You can also consider e-mailing guests one fun or amusing fact about yourselves a day, 10 days before the wedding.’’ Bryan Rafanelli, owner of Boston-based wedding and event planning firm Rafanelli Events, suggests delivering handwritten notes to the hotel rooms of out-of-town guests. “This is certain to get their attention and show an enormous amount of respect, time, and thought,’’ he says.

After their September waterfront wedding at Bel Mer in Newport, R.I., Jamie and Jon Narcessian asked guests to choose a stone from the beach and toss it into the water while they made a wish. The gesture worked: Nearly 11 years later, the couple remains happily married. “One bride I know asked guests to bring a single flower,’’ says Yin. “At the beginning of the ceremony, the couple had each guest place his or her flower in an empty vase. Gradually, a beautiful floral arrangement took shape, symbolizing the coming together of families and friends.’’

In lieu of a photo booth, which can be expensive, Yin suggests that couples set up a digital camera on a tripod in a corner of the reception space and invite guests to shoot their own funny photos. Incorporating existing photos is also a crowd pleaser, says Linda Matzkin, president of Newton event and wedding planning firm Hopple Popple. “One of our brides had placecards featuring a snapshot of each guest, taken with either her or the groom,’’ Matzkin recalls. Carrie Denny, author of “The Bride’s Instruction Manual’’ (Quirk Books, 2009), suggests using string and clothespins to display photos in a way that’s cheaper and less expected than the video slideshow. “It could span each of your lifetimes, and would cover everyone who’s there — family, school friends, work friends,’’ she says. “It’s fun for the guests to see how they’ve been a part of your lives.’’

“So many traditions have gone by the side boards, so to speak, but having a guestbook makes a great memory and engages guests,’’ says Rafanelli. For her Stowe, Vt., wedding six years ago, Erika Ayers Nardini created a guestbook using brightly colored envelopes glued into a scrapbook. Guests selected blank cards from the envelopes to write notes to the couple. “On the way to the airport for our honeymoon, we jotted down our own favorite memories on the cards that weren’t used,’’ says Nardini. “This has been really special and captured things I would have forgotten by now.’’

For “a completely no-cost touch that will bring a tear to grandma or mom and really make your wedding table memorable,’’ Rafanelli suggests using family china. He also suggests a Bride and Groom speech, during which the couple takes turns toasting one another. “[It’s] a very personal moment that can be lots of fun and very heartwarming.’’ Gail Denesvich, who was married in the fall at the Chandler Inn in Newport, created a “guest menu’’ that contained a short profile of each attendee. “The idea was that our friends could learn about one another before even meeting,’’ she says.

Julie Zanfagna Roland, who was married on the beach in Narragansett, R.I., two years ago, remembers her favorite touch from a friend’s wedding. “She asked everyone to write their all-time favorite dance song on the RSVP card,’’ Roland recalls. “The DJ used the responses to make the song list.’’ Yin recalls one reception in which a “courageous groom serenaded his wife on the dance floor, playing the guitar and singing their song.’’ Kerry Epstein, a Boston wardrobe stylist, recently helped organize a bachelorette party for her sister, Lauren, in which all the bridesmaids learned the steps from the music video for Beyoncè’s “Single Ladies.’’ The girls then showed off their mastery of choreography at the wedding.

At their spring wedding five years ago, Michael Aviles and her husband, Phil, the chef-owner of South End restaurant Masa, gifted guests with a small cilantro plant and a recipe for New England clam chowder salsa that Phil created for the event. Michael also added pressed hydrangea petals to the invitations. “As they opened the card, the dried petals came out like a beautiful, natural confetti,’’ she says. Erin Graham, who held her own wedding in the fall at the New England Aquarium, recalls friends who handed out two-packs of aspirin in lieu of a wedding favor. “They did this on the way out the door as a way to say goodbye and thanks, and hope you feel OK tomorrow,’’ she says.

Above all, Rafanelli reminds brides and grooms to make the day as personal as possible and that good manners are, of course, free. (He also suggests sending flowers and centerpieces that don’t make it home with guests to a nursing home.) “Greet your friends and family, say thank you, be grateful they took the time to come,’’ he says. “Don’t take people’s participation for granted.’’