Lieutenant James Riter appeared to be telling the cows to break it up and go home.
Lieutenant James Riter appeared to be telling the cows to break it up and go home.
Boxford Police

A quiet evening in a Boxford backyard took an “udderly” dramatic turn Sunday when a bunch of bovines decided to drop by and have a couple of brews.

“It started off with a call for loose cows in the area of Foster Street,” Boxford Police Lieutenant James Riter said. “On my way down Main Street, I did see evidence that cows were in the area.”

That evidence, Riter said, was—well, let’s just say you wouldn’t want to step in it.

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When the bovine bunch stopped in the front yard of a home on Main Street, Riter directed traffic around the herd. Then the cows decided to run off into the backyard, he said.

“I could hear screaming coming from the back of the house. When I ran around back, a group of young adults were outside enjoying the nice weather and having a few beers,” Riter said.

“The cows chased them away from the table they were sitting at and started drinking their beers. They knocked the beer cans over with their noses started drinking beer right off the table.”

The cows had a choice between Bud Light and Miller Lite. Riter said they seemed to prefer the Bud Light.

“When they ran out of beers on the table, one of them started to forage in the recycling to see if he could find any last drops in there,” Riter said.

Riter said the police dispatcher called the cows’ owner, who gathered a few friends to help herd them back home.

“Myself and another officer blocked traffic; we had one cruiser in front of the cows, and I followed behind them,” Riter said. “We marched them about three-quarters of a mile up Main Street where they belonged.”

No one was injured, he said, and besides a few cow patties and a trampled flower bed, there was no property damage.