Shaolin Soccer
Goooal!
The Andres Cantor cheer doesn't really work in print, does it? Too bad, because Stephen Chow's fabulously over-the-top "Shaolin Soccer" has waited so long for Miramax distribution that its local release probably needs the extended bellows of the Argentinean sportscaster to capture anybody's attention.
As goofy action comedies go, "Shaolin Soccer" is one of the best. In fact, let's just go out on a limb and say it's the greatest kung-fu football movie of all time, assuming you don't count political documentaries.
Chow's movie was a huge hit in Asia that deserved a better fate in the United States. The reason you haven't seen it onscreen around here until now, even given the success of "Bend It Like Beckham" and the ready coattails of recent World Cup action, is that no one in this country knows what to do with it. Its lowbrow slapstick isn't the kind of material that generally attracts art houses, yet its Asian-humored dialogue is subtitled (Miramax had contemplated releasing a dubbed version but wisely backed off), so it's not going to play to "Beckham"-like throngs of teens either.
The obvious target audience is martial arts fans who can appreciate all of Chow's homages and creative riffs on the genre, but it would be a shame if mainstream moviegoers dismissed the film just because it has all the elements of a standard chop-socky/chop-soccer kick fest. Unlike, say, Jackie Chan, writer-director Chow choreographs plot and dialogue as skillfully as he does fight scenes and special effects.
Story-wise, Chow plays Sing, a.k.a. Mighty Iron Leg, a Bruce Lee disciple who picks up garbage for a living but dreams of finding the artistic form by which to popularize Shaolin kung fu. When Sing meets a former soccer player once known as Golden Leg (Ng Man Tat), it seems that this thinking-man's sport might be the perfect vehicle for both men's redemption. First, though, Sing's out-of-shape Shaolin brothers in arms have to be convinced to play along, and their lapsed martial arts skills must be retrained to steal a championship out from under the feet of the nefarious Team Evil.
Yes, it's "The Bad News Bears" meets Quentin Tarantino, but it's also much more. Without seeming forced or cluttered, "Shaolin Soccer" lampoons westerns, war movies, James Bond thrillers, and cheesy spoofs cut from the mold of "Airplane!" Chow works in just about every special effect known to man, and still leaves room for a tender, offbeat romance that includes one of the most graceful bits of magic realism ever brought to the screen.
Unlike previous wacky efforts including "King of Comedy," this Chow outing always manages to rein itself in just before you're ready to pronounce it silly, and you end up embracing even the lowest-common-denominator stuff because the full package is so darned likable.
If Miramax were releasing the uncut original, US theaters would have a near-perfect martial arts comedy in "Shaolin Soccer." But the really pathetic thing is: That film still wouldn't draw as many viewers as "The Medallion 2."
Janice Page can be reached at jpage22@hotmail.com.
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