Mastering shyness and a new language
On her first day of school in America, Subeia Ahmed sat front and center in the Framingham High School classroom, armed with an English dictionary and a neat row of freshly sharpened pencils.
The 15-year-old was determined to succeed, but faced a far more difficult transition than most freshmen.
She, along with her mother and two siblings, immigrated to the United States from Pakistan only a few weeks before school began to join her father, Rasheed Ahmed, who moved here five years ago. A farmer in a rural village in Pakistan, Rasheed Ahmed came to the United States with hopes for a better life for his family. He works at a service station.
Subeia Ahmed started school knowing some conversational English, which she learned in school in Pakistan. But she didn't know enough to take regular classes, and was assigned to intermediate English as a Second Language classes.
Like most new immigrants, she spent her first year of school in America torn between two worlds.
That first day of school, her family embarrassed her when they told her teachers she couldn't take gym class because Muslim girls weren't allowed to wear shorts. Students stared at her headscarf and shalwar kamiz, the traditional garments she wears in observance of Islam. A few asked about it, and she didn't know what to tell them.
The first few weeks of school were the hardest. Soft-spoken and demure, she at first struggled to make new friends at school. Uneasy saying much more than ''Hi" and ''Hello," she stayed quiet and kept to herself, steering clear of sporting events, dances, and crowded lunchrooms. She recoiled at the sight of girls in halter tops and cutoffs, and winced at the sounds of loud and rowdy boys. She sighed when other children goofed off and talked back to the teacher. Catchphrases and cultural references sailed over her head.
Within a few weeks, she knew enough English to take regular math and science classes, but remained in ESL for her other subjects. Even when she knew the answers in math, she still didn't dare raise her hand.
''I wanted to, but I was very nervous," she said.
Adhering to Muslim dietary restrictions, she wouldn't eat most of the cafeteria food, and just had chips and juice for lunch each day. When school let out, she would run home and eat some traditional Pakistani food -- usually a vegetable curry or her favorite, biryani, a rice and meat dish. During the first two months, Ahmed took sanctuary in her schoolwork. She did her assignments as soon as she got home, always turned in papers on time, and did extra credit whenever she could. She looked up words she didn't know and absorbed English like a sponge.
As her English improved, so did her confidence. By November, she started to find her niche. She started smiling and soon struck up conversations with other recent immigrants facing the same hurdles. Once she had a couple of friends, it became easier to make more. She started to ask American-born students for help with words she didn't know, and helped them with tricky math problems. Now when students asked about her clothes, she knew what to say.
''I would say, 'These clothes are my tradition,' " she said. ''They'd say, 'Oh, OK. They're nice.' "
She decorated her locker with stickers and pictures, and became an avid fan of ''Lizzie McGuire," a TV show about a quintessential American teenager. But she didn't join other students in outings to McDonalds or the Gap. Early on, she decided that assimilating didn't have to mean running away from herself.
''You can't change your culture, so I didn't try."
In November, she got her first report card -- all A's and B's. She beamed at seeing her name on the honor roll in the local paper. But just a few weeks later, her family decided to move to Watertown, and she had to start over.
Although sad to change schools, Ahmed vowed to make the best of it. On her first day at Watertown High School, her math teacher asked what multiplying two negative numbers equaled. A positive, Ahmed knew. This time, she didn't keep quiet.
Fitting in was easier this time. In her English class she met a girl from Brazil named Laila, who made her laugh. And through her parents she met a girl from Pakistan in her grade. She still spent most of her free time with family, either helping take care of her three younger siblings or playing with her cousins. But now, she also socialized with friends after school and on weekends.
Subeia's mother, Haseen Ahmed, said she was relieved to see her daughter become happier over time. ''Now, much better," she said.
The teen said she was always confident she'd eventually do well.
''Maybe at the start I was nervous and lonely," she said. ''But I knew things would work out."
This month Ahmed has spent her mornings continuing her ESL instruction in summer school. Her English still needs work but has improved greatly since September, her teachers say. She listens intently as her teacher, Siran Tamakian, asks the class to define words they might see on the MCAS math test this fall. Ahmed answers aloud each time, rolling her eyes in mock dismay if she gets one wrong or doesn't answer fast enough.
''She was very quiet and shy at the start, and she still is," Tamakian said. ''But she's come a long way."
Peter Schworm can be reached at schworm@globe.com. 