When both parents have to work

I READ Mary Eberstadt's column ''The absentee parent" (op ed, Sept. 12) with a mixture of anger and sadness. I am the mother of a 2-month-old and will be going back to work as an elementary school teacher at the end of October. My husband and I did not reach this decision lightly, and we feel reluctance at the prospect of our baby daughter heading to daycare at that time.

However, what Eberstadt fails to recognize is that many households, ours included, contain dual-working parents out of economic necessity, not to be ''freer and financially better off," as she suggests. If we do not bring in two salaries, how else would our bills get paid?

This reality is especially harsh in the Boston area, where in order to buy a home, or simply entertain the thought of such a basic need, a certain amount of money needs to come in to the household on a weekly basis.

Rather than suggesting that children from dual-income families are destined for obesity and sexual promiscuity, maybe Eberstadt should wise up to the fact that most women who take more than the allotted eight weeks' paid maternity leave do not get monetary compensation for the additional time. This is the reality of the system, and our children pay the price.

LENORE ZAVALICK, Watertown
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