`Welcome home, how are you?'

VETERANS DAY is a reminder to us all of the importance of showing gratitude to our veterans -- and never more so than today as we face the possibility of high US casualties in the assault on Fallujah. Some of America's veterans served for four years, some for their entire lives. Some were good soldiers, some were great, and some remain soldiers for their entire lives, even if they physically can't wear a uniform. Nothing made me truly understand the meaning of Veterans Day more than my service in the military.

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In Kosovo I was a tank platoon leader running villages, and in Baghdad I deployed logistics convoys. I saw the horrors of combat. Many soldiers that I served with have fallen, been wounded, or have had their lives destroyed by war.

I saw terrible, life-threatening injuries. I experienced firsthand the pain of exchanging family and friends for guns and tanks. I sent one soldier out on a mission from which he never returned. It took a toll on me that I may never fully comprehend. I expected combat to be one of the most difficult challenges of my life. But I never anticipated how hard it was to return home and become, officially, a veteran.

I did not recognize that I had changed -- I was still looking for the person I used to be. I had a difficult time sharing my feelings with friends and family -- as much as they loved me, they just could not comprehend the thoughts and emotions fostered by combat and the transition home. My heart was heavy and my mind was spinning.

This past Memorial Day was hard for me. It was my first since I had returned home, and the war in Iraq seemed to be getting worse. There were many soldiers I knew who weren't as fortunate as myself; they did not return.

For the first time, for me, it was a solemn holiday, as if a member of my own family had passed away. Unfortunately, so many people in my generation don't understand the price of their freedom or the cost of war. As I looked around in my own grief and guilt, there were barbecues, parties, and many young Americans who thought of Memorial Day as just another day off from work.

There is something wrong in America when young people like myself returning from war find that most of their own generation cannot relate to them. So many my age talk about patriotism, service, and the security of this country, but so few actually serve.

I joined the Army because I visited Israel when I was 16 years old and saw how military service is viewed with honor, even by those who are young. I had no desire to kill or be killed, but I wanted to serve because I felt it was my duty, a rite of passage and the truest test any man can put himself through.

Last Memorial Day I mourned the soldiers who fell. This Veterans Day I want to thank the veterans who saved my life and ask that every American, especially those of my age, take this day to understand those of us who served.

When someone finds out I served in Iraq they always make a comment. A nonveteran will say, "Thank you," but a veteran will say, "Welcome home, how are you?" Thank you to everyone who asked that question. You helped me find that new person I didn't understand when I returned home. You helped me find the person I want to be in the future, a person who will always strive to make a difference in another veteran's life.

If there is a soldier you know who is overseas, send him an e-mail or a card or a package -- to let him know you care. Ask his wife if she needs help with the kids. Give her some telephone cards so she can call her husband overseas. On your day off, do more than just thank veterans -- act. If you help a veteran, you can make a difference.

Above all, today, don't just thank veterans for their service. Instead, ask them how they are.

Jon Soltz is a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and a student at the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public and International Affairs.