Ya cahn't pahk ya cah heah
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING, Boston parking is an oxymoron, just like jumbo shrimp. And it's pricey, too.
There are 7,000 parking meters in Boston ''proper" -- the real estate between Massachusetts Avenue and the waterfront. Yet every weekday, some 600,000 vehicles flood into and through the city, according to the Boston Transportation Department. These are in addition to the 375,000 vehicles registered within city limits that qualify for resident neighborhood parking spaces. ''There is a lot of competition for the curb," says acting Transportation Commissioner Thomas Tinlin, with cheerful understatement.
Recent headlines about Boston's parking focus on valets who vandalize meters; new resident-only parking restrictions in South Boston; and new, handheld computers, the better to print parking citations and track down scofflaws. How about some outrage over the excessive cost of off-street parking and how it contributes to the city's parking problems?
According to a 1997/1998 parking inventory done by the city, Boston has 134,000 off-street parking spaces.
Most daily commuters have no choice but to park their vehicles in overpriced private garages and lots. One big downtown office tower charges about $400 a month. The more occasional commuter who drives into the city to shop, eat, or keep a business appointment, does not have a reserved space and has no desire to spend $22 or more to park.
Indeed, the desire to avoid a depressingly excessive parking garage fee is where the quest for a legal, on-street parking spot begins -- and often where it ends.
A person begins the search for a metered space with high hopes, the best of intentions, and a pocketful of quarters to support both. But, say that person is driving down Newbury Street around 9 a.m., trying to keep an appointment at one of its celebrated salons. There may be empty spots, but they will be marked by yellow-covered meters. These meters are reserved for commercial vehicles until 11 a.m. Parking at one almost always guarantees a ticket. But, the spirit is weak when the highlights are fading.
A similar analysis takes place when a driver encounters a broken meter. You know the meter is good for only one hour; in your heart, you also know your business meeting will take longer. But you are running late, so you take the spot, weighing the cost of a ticket ($25) against a garage fee and betting that you get back to your car before the meter maid.
The city cannot regulate private parking pricing, Tinlin notes. However, Tinlin says Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino recently asked him to contact parking garage owners to talk to them about ''charging a more reasonable amount," especially on weekends, ''to keep the economy of Boston strong." Parking garage owners have cooperated during snow emergencies, allowing people to park for $1 a day; Tinlin hopes the same spirit can prevail in this discussion, which has been assigned to his assistant, Sarah Flaherty. Tinlin and Back Bay business representatives are also taking a second look at parking restrictions that favor commercial vehicles.
Menino aggressively took on private parking lot operators around Fenway Park who charge exorbitant fees on big game days. During the American League Championship Series last fall, Menino sent letters to lot owners, asking them to lower rates that climbed to $80 or more. After lot owners ignored the mayor's request, Menino sought legislation that would raise the fine for price-gouging from $300 to $1,000.
It is true that too many people drive cars into the city, rather than take public transportation. But no matter how they get here, the city needs them here to work and play.
This is economic reality: Suburbanites are not going to take a train or a bus to eat or shop in Boston. They can shop much more conveniently at suburban malls. And, increasingly, they can patronize local restaurants that offer free parking and ever-greater variety and quality. Adding a huge parking fee onto a night out at a Boston restaurant or the cost of an outfit or haircut is great incentive to do business closer to home.
Boston drivers long ago adopted that folksy line that is said to come from Maine: you can't get there from here.
Even when you can, good luck finding a parking spot. And if you park in a Boston parking garage, good luck paying for it, especially if it's a cash-only operation.
Joan Vennochi's e-mail address is vennochi@globe.com. 
