Taking the wheel from our teens
MY 17-YEAR-OLD son is thinking about death.
Scott Michael Connolly, 16, a classmate at St. John's Preparatory School in Danvers, died in a horrific car crash last Friday night. One minute, this young man had a weekend and a life ahead of him. Now, family and friends are coming to his funeral.
I will cry for him and his family. And I will join others -- including the mother of Amanda Nadeau, 16, who also died in the crash -- who believe teen driving laws need to be strengthened.
I knew that anyway, on the basis of our family's experience over the past year.
On March 5, 2005 -- a Saturday -- my son turned 16. On Monday, we were at the Registry of Motor Vehicles so he could get a learner's permit. It was the one test I knew he would not fail. He spent the next six months begging us to let him drive. I was often the one whose foot pressed the imaginary brake on the car floor as he practiced. I reminded him to turn off the rap music, keep two hands on the wheel, and, please, watch out for crazy drivers around him.
Of course, he took the requisite driver's education course. As Sept. 5 drew near -- the date he would turn 16 1/2 -- he pleaded with me daily to schedule the test for a junior operator's license. On the day he got his license, he fulfilled the dream of many a new teenage driver -- he cruised over to
He quickly concluded that driving alone is not as much fun as driving with friends. According to current law, he was not allowed to have passengers under 18, other than siblings, without an adult in the front seat. He told us it was not a ''real law." We told him it was very real. But we could not monitor every excursion; and we could tell there is immense peer pressure to give a friend a ride, or take one, no matter what the law stipulates. Now that he is 17, there are no stipulations about passengers -- just stomach tightening when he backs out of the driveway.
Adults must be strong and wise enough to do what is best for their children at every stage of their lives.
When they are infants, child-care manuals guide us. But even the best manual doesn't stop the panic when a fever spikes, so we rush to the pediatrician to make sure Tylenol is all that is required. We chase after toddlers, pulling them back from traffic on the road and waves at the beach.
Then come the early wheel years -- bicycles, roller blades, and skateboards. Our children quickly move past our reach, beyond the safety of our arms and love. Once they get behind the wheel of a car, a parent can remind them to drive safely, hope their seat belts are buckled -- and pray.
We can also support policies that make us unpopular with them, just as we did when we forced them to wear bike helmets. A major overhaul of driving license laws is under consideration on Beacon Hill. Republican Representative Brad Hill of Ipswich first championed revisions to license laws. Now, lawmakers are contemplating even greater reform, according to Democratic Senator Steven Baddour of Haverhill, who co-chairs the Joint Transportation Committee. ''We've all heard enough stories about kids behind wheels dying. We have to do something," said Baddour.
On the table: changing the learner's permit period so it covers a full year, from age 16 to 17; requiring 50 hours of supervised driving with a parent or guardian, documented by a log book or affidavit; standardizing and expanding driver education requirements; granting a junior operator's license for a full year, from age 17 to 18; giving police officers more power to stop junior operators who are carrying passengers under age 18.
Laws cannot stop any driver, young or old, from speeding, drinking, or using poor judgment. But requiring more driving experience and driver education cannot hurt -- and could help new teenage drivers.
St. John's Prep is a tightknit, caring community. Crisis and tragedy pull it together even more tightly. Students will dress in jackets and ties and attend a classmate's funeral in sadness and solidarity.
Today, these young people will think about death. But how long before they think like every other teenager -- that they are invincible?
Joan Vennochi's e-mail address is vennochi@globe.com. 