Which way will I go?
IT'S HARD to believe, but the phone is ringing again. It's a meeting for Barack Obama supporters here. A fund-raiser for Hillary Clinton is on the calendar. John Edwards is coming to town and we could get together. As others have asked over the past few weeks, is it time to join the witness protection program?
The new year was a great beginning for Democrats like me, all too accustomed to losing elections and having our politics ignored. Deval Patrick was inaugurated as governor and we have a corner office filled with optimism and good sense. The photo of Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the podium of the US House of Representatives, gavel in hand and surrounded by children, was incredibly moving. It was a vivid reminder of what politics is really all about.
Nevertheless, I was determined after a year of high political adventure to take a breather from politics. But we are Massachusetts Democrats, and we can't help ourselves. So here we go again.
The good news is that Boston is an important power base for national politicians and presidential candidates visit here often for support and money. The other good news is that Democrats have an impressive field of presidential candidates. The bad news is that I am in utter despair as to where to land. How to choose between Hillary and Barack?
For as long as I can remember, I was going to be with Hillary Clinton if and when she ran for president. I have always been a Clinton fan. I admire her smarts and her savvy. I envy her willingness and ability to smooth her edges to better advance important issues. She has served her constituents with distinction and devotion. I wish that she were clearer about her position on the Iraq war, and I have also wished that on issues, such as abortion, she didn't try so hard to seek out a consensus position. But she is rock solid on many issues. She has lived admirably on the world's stage with grace and dignity. I believe that she can win enough states to capture the presidency. How can I not support the first strong female candidate? If I do not, what message will that send to my three beloved sons?
But, quite unexpectedly, I find myself taking a step back and a long pause. I am lured by the pull of Barack Obama. His early insights led him to the right position, then and now, on the war in Iraq. His progressive politics are more like my own. His inspirational and positive message of hope and of a different kind of politics is compelling. He speaks of the need to work together around common interests and goals. That similar message by Deval Patrick resonated profoundly with the people of Massachusetts last year. I am moved by Obama's eloquence, and as Patrick has said, words are often not just words but a reflection of one's passion and conviction When Obama spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention here, he penetrated the cynicism of my oldest son, then a convention page lucky enough to be standing on the floor for that memorable speech. If he can move our younger generations in that way, as older generations were moved by Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt and John Kennedy, then imagine how he could perhaps move this country in so many important ways.
It's likely I will struggle with this choice for some time, but I celebrate it as well. I would not have dreamed that in my lifetime our two leading Democratic presidential candidates would be a woman and a black man.
In the end, I will make a choice . I hope to make history by helping elect her or him president. As I decide, I will listen closely to each of them, with my head and my heart.
Cheryl Cronin is a partner at Brown Rudnick Berlack Israels. 
