Thursday, May 10, 2007

Cockpit talk

In the Ask the Pilot column Jan pointed to, on airplane jargon, Patrick Smith cites a recent New Yorker cartoon in which the captain says to the first officer, "Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

He adds:

As a pilot who tries hard to keep his public address chatter brief and informative, my feelings are hurt. But I have to ask: Is it true? Do pilots, as a rule, make inane announcements? I don't always listen, frankly, but I assumed we did a pretty good job. I mean, what passenger doesn't want to hear that "we'll be shooting the localizer to one six left?" Or that the wind in St. Louis is blowing from the southeast at 8 knots? Or that the dew point is up to 16 Celsius? People need to know.

OK, so maybe the artist has a point.

Jerry Seinfeld would agree. In his stand-up act called "I'm Telling You for the Last Time," he has a great bit about the prattle coming from the cockpit. It goes somthing like this:

Pilot comes over the PA: "I'm gonna take it up to about 20,000 feet, take a right in Pittsburgh, left over Chicago...." The whole route, all his moves. We're in the back going... "Do whatever the hell you gotta do, I don't know. End up where it says on the ticket is really it..." Do I bother him with what I'm doing? Knocking on the door... "I'm having the peanuts now."

Posted by Evan Hughes at 08:22 PM

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