Near 2, she takes her time to walk

By Globe Staff, 10/5/2003

Dear Chatters: My niece is one month away from two years of age and is not walking. She scoots around on her kneecaps, does stand up when she can hold on to something, but has not progressed beyond this point. In her attempts to take steps, it is almost as if it hurts to carry the weight or gravity of her little body to stand or walk unaided.

Doctors have told me to wait and see; perhaps she is slower in developing. The little girl is very bright, and likes books and videos, etc. I was wondering if anyone else has a child in a similar circumstance, and the methods used to encourage walking. A physical therapist was sent to the home, but did not truly get results. Most importantly, is there a doctor who could be recommended to help? I will be grateful to share any advice with her concerned father.

LOVING AUNT

Dear Chatters: I am going to have a total hip replacement this fall at a Boston hospital. I would like to hear from others who have had this done.

Any advice about what to expect after the operation would be appreciated. Would a bedroom upstairs be too difficult?

I know the hospital will give me great advice, but I would like to hear from people who have had this done. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

PAIN IN THE LEG

Airing hearing issues

Dear Chatters: My hearing loss affects me only in meetings in friends' living rooms. If I sit near the speaker, I can hear, but across the room, I cannot. And I'm in a group that meets frequently.

Has anyone resolved this problem with a hearing aid? Lots of noise or close conversations are not a problem, but can I be helped across a room? I know hearing aids are expensive.

CAN YOU HEAR ME

Hair-pulling child: Is it just MCAS?

Dear Chatters: LAMBERMOM said her 10-year old daughter began pulling her hair because she was worried about the MCAS. She asked Chatters for advice and support.

ANTI-MCAS MOM: Maybe the problem isn't with your daughter. Maybe it's with the state education leaders thinking they have to scare 10-year-olds into preparing for a test to the extent that kids literally pull their hair out.

You say your daughter's not usually nervous or a worrier, so maybe her abnormal response is because this is an abnormal situation the state is imposing on all our children. Believe me, your daughter is not alone in her nervousness and extreme anxiety. And if you decide you want to do something to change the circumstances in her school that are making her so nervous, you won't be alone.

To find out about tens of thousands of other parents who are working to change things so our kids won't have to pull their hair out over the MCAS, go to the MassCARE website, www.caremass.org, and join us. Education reform shouldn't be about giving our children nervous habits they didn't have before.

OCD CLINICIAN WHO BY CHANCE READ CHATTERS THAT DAY: LAMBERMOM's child's behavior may be an anxiety disorder called trichotillomania, which causes the sufferer to pull hair. This can include eyebrows, eyelashes, and other hair on the body as well as the scalp. Your daughter's counselor should be an expert in treating this disease, and if the counselor is not, then the counselor should refer LAMBERMOM to a therapist or program that does specialize in it. Two excellent sources to call for assessment and treatment (which is very different from regular counseling or psychotherapy) are the Mass General Hospital's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Clinic and the McLean Hospital's OCD Institute.

Medication is an important part if not primary to this treatment, as the illness has such strong biochemical roots. This child's and family's suffering can be greatly helped if she gets the appropriate diagnosis and treatment.

MGH can also give mother and daughter information/website address of national organizations which are wonderful resources for research, treatment and support.

GARNET KOLBASSI: Our daughter (now 12) was the same age as yours when she started pulling out her hair. She was diagnosed with trichotillomania, an obsessive-compulsive disorder. She now takes a drug prescribed by a registered nurse who is also a mental health clinician. She hasn't pulled her hair in over a year. Some tips that helped us:

The bandanna is a good idea. This worked well for us. Check with her school and see if it is OK for her to wear a bandanna in school; some places have no-head gear policies that apply to both boys and girls.

Our daughter's therapist suggested putting Band-aids on her fingertips. This makes it harder to grasp the hair and pull it.

Have you shown your daughter exactly what she is doing to her hair? Let her look in the mirror and see how big her bald spot is. Our daughter was shocked by what she was doing. She screamed and burst into tears. I think this gave her the impetus to stop.

Give her a fuzzy stuffed animal, like a furry Beanie Baby, and let her carry it with her wherever she wants. Tell her that she can pick at the Beanie Baby whenever she feels like pulling at her hair.

Does she like to draw or play Game Boy or do other things to keep her hands busy? If you know how to do handcrafts, like knitting or crocheting, maybe you could teach her. You will have some quality time with her; she'll learn a new skill; and it will keep those poor little hands busy. Our daughter draws a lot to keep from picking at herself.

Watch her foods. I backed off on refined sugar for our daughter, and this helped some. No caffeine, obviously. Make sure her schedule is very regular, with regular bedtimes, wake-up times, etc. Avoid surprises whenever you can.

Tell her siblings that teasing and calling her Baldy and nicknames like that are absolutely unacceptable!

You might have to be there a little bit more for a while. If you are really busy with outside commitments, you might want to cut back for a month or so until your daughter gets back on an even keel and her hair-pulling is under better control.

Ask her how she feels before she starts pulling at her hair. My daughter said her hands tingled and she just had to do something.

I don't know if this will work for you, but it is worth a try! I told my daughter that any time she felt picky, she could come and get me. A couple of times she got me up in the middle of the night, but we cuddled and she went right back to sleep. It was worth it.

I will ask my daughter if she would like to correspond with your little one. Hair-pulling is a hard habit to overcome, but it can be beat. Show your pediatrician this letter, and ask for a referral to a mental health professional. I know I have gone on way too long, but I hope I have helped you and your family.

SALLY: I am a 36-year old hair puller. I have been pulling since age 8. Please know that your daughter may suffer from a disorder called trichotillomania and there is help. Go to www.trich.org where you will find a wonderful organization called the Trichotillomania Learning Center Inc. and they will send you information on trich including professional and self-help resources in Massachusetts.

There is also a treatment center at McLean Hospital in Belmont and the Trichotillomania Clinic & Research Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Itchy to relieve a scalp condition

Dear Chatters: I'm hoping someone can help me. I have a scalp condition that I have had for the past three or four years. It started at the nape of my neck, at the hairline, as a terrible itch. And then I started having lumps wherever it itched. I went to my doctor and he prescribed Clobetasol and Capex shampoo, neither of which helped.

I went to a dermatologist who prescribed Diprolene and an antibiotic that didn't help either. The lumps hurt and I can't comb my hair without pain. I even had the doctor prescribe an antifungal medicine in case it was a fungal itch, but that didn't help either. I sincerely hope one of you can help me.

PATRICK'S MOMDear Chatters:I'd very much like to hear from any of you on high blood pressure meds that cause hair loss. Also, is anyone familiar with tea oil products? Thank you. KNITTIN' KITTENDear Chatters:Whatever happened to the telephones that last a lifetime? The only reason you got a new phone was if you were bored with the one you had. Since I let my daughter talk me into getting a cordless phone many years ago, I have had to get a new phone every 18 months! Of course, it's always after the warranty runs out and it's simpler and cheaper to get a new one, rather than send it back to the company.

Speaking of phones lasting a lifetime, do you remember the ones we rented from the phone company? If something went wrong with them, the phone company would send someone out to either repair it or replace it. Aaah, those were the good ol' days!

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent a little.

DUSTY SUE

Dear Chatters: I have lost my recipe for a cookie made from a club cracker spread with sweet drizzle and then topped with slivered almonds. The sweetness of the drizzle and the salty taste of the cracker made for a great-tasting cookie. My family misses them. Thanks in advance.

COOKIE MAKER

Dear Chatters: I am trying to locate a recipe for a healthy granola cereal. Yesterdays Restaurant in Jackson, N. H., has the best homemade granola cereal I've ever tasted. The ingredients are bran, oatmeal, walnuts, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, raisins, coconut, vegetable oil, honey, water, and vanilla. I'd love to be able to make this myself and need to know how they use the oil, honey, water, and vanilla. Does anyone have the recipe/instructions or a similar recipe for great tasting granola cereal?

YESTERDAYS GRANOLA FAN

Needs to replace peanut log recipe

Dear Chatters: My recipe for Cocoa Krispie Peanut Logs is lost. It contained chocolate chips, marshmallow, peanut butter, and Krispie cereal. I would appreciate any help from the Chat. Thank you.

NANNIE ANNIE

Sock dryers, kits on knitter's list

Dear Chatters: Years ago, I knitted men's wool socks in various patterns. When they were washed, I put the wet socks on metal dryers (which had a built-in hanger that could be put on a clothesline) so that they would retain their shape and not shrink. I have tried to find these dryers in local stores, online, and in catalogs -- but I've not been successful. Can any knitters help me?

Are there any substitutes available? And are sock kits still sold anywhere ?

OLD TIME KNITTER

Wants the value of a hooked rug

Dear Chatters: Does anyone know if a hooked rug (3x5) black border and floral is worth anything? The label on the rug reads "Priscilla Turner, 0263 -- made by Margaret Simpson, State of Maine, Turner, 120-Black-60." Thank you.

JANCIA

Pattern sought for Prague dress

Dear Chatters: Hope one of you Chatters can help me find a pattern for a dress for an Infant of Prague Statue about 12-14 inches. I have looked in pattern books to no avail. I can buy a ready-made dress, but I want to make and decorate a special one. Thank you.

JESSIE'S MOM

Thanks for tips on molding sugar

Dear Chatters: How good you were to answer my request for the recipe for molding sugar. Special thanks to ALPHA-OMEGA, MIKE, SQUARED CIRCLE, and ONE-MAN GANG for the beautiful e-mail pictures. THE SKIPPER'S WIDOW

Wants to make rug from nylons

Dear Chatters: Years ago The Chat printed instructions for making a small rug using nylon stockings. I've lost the instructions but would hope that someone still has a copy. Many thanks.

W.L.

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