TV highlights

And God tells Joan to join the school band. And Joan says to God, please stop talking in cymbals. "Joan of Arcadia" is at 8 p.m. on Channel 4.

Paris Hilton guest stars as a teacher on "George Lopez," tonight at 8 on Channel 5. She's got a PhD in Lip Gloss.

In the 2002 movie "Signs," at 9 p.m. on Starz, Mel Gibson may lose his kids to little green men if he forsakes his faith. No danger of that happening now, I guess.

Fox's "The Great American Celebrity Spelling Bee" has featured George Wendt, David Faustino, Gena Lee Nolin, Brett Butler, Meshach Taylor, and Erin Brodie from "For Love or Money," at 8 p.m. on Channel 25. Great American celebrities? I don't think so. MATTHEW GILBERT