The good, the bad, and the Undead

Twelve-year-old Erasmus -- not his real name, nor his real inclination -- was hunkered in front of the computer screen, playing ''Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos." ''I think I've finally mined enough gold to lay siege to the Black Citadel of the Undead," he muttered. ''But can I count on the support of Ner'zhul to counter Mannoroth's bloody power?"

''Shouldn't you be studying for that history quiz?" I asked.

''It's all good," Erasmus mumbled. ''This must be the Troll Witch Doctor's stasis trap. . . ."

''Come on Erasmus, you've got to crack the books. They're going to ask you about the Barbary pirates."

''Are they allied with the Sludge Beasts? Look, Dad. You obviously haven't been reading Steven Johnson's important new book, 'Everything Bad Is Good for You.' I'm not just playing a video game, I'm 'finding order and meaning in the world, and making decisions that help create that order,' according to him."

''Oh, please. That's poppycock. He's just writing that to sell books."

''Jealous, eh? No, Johnson's got the 411 on video gaming. He says that Grand Theft Auto 'allows players to drive aimlessly through a vast urban environment, creating their own narratives as they explore the space.' "

''Does he mention the line in GTA about 'killing all the Haitians' "?

''I don't think so. He's more concerned with his thesis that video games teach young people the scientific method."

Erasmus leaned into the screen. ''Where's Prince Arthas at, anyway?"

''You've got math homework to do, too. It's time to shut down the game."

''Chill, OK? Johnson notes that student IQs have been rising steadily for the past 50 years. That would imply, with all due respect, that I'm smarter than you. And one reason for that would be the intellectual and imaginative stimulation of video games. Too bad they didn't have Zelda when you were growing up, huh?"

''You've got a smart mouth, all right. Turn off the computer now!"

''Well, OK. But let's take another look at season two of 'The Sopranos' before wasting time with homework."

''What?! That's totally inappropriate."

''You may think so, Dad, but Mr. Johnson writes in The Boston Globe -- I think you've heard of it -- that television has become 'more meaningful' with the availability of serial dramas like 'The Sopranos' on DVD. I believe I am quoting him accurately when he says that modern TV dramas are 'comparable . . . in narrative complexity to many classic 19th-century novels.' So I won't be reading 'War and Peace' anytime soon."

''Good grief! He's deranged."

''If not 'The Sopranos,' maybe we could watch reality TV, like 'Joe Millionaire.' Mr. Johnson says those shows are full of 'collateral learning.' Or I could watch my 10,000th consecutive 'Simpsons' rerun. Johnson thinks reruns 'are responsible for making the culture smarter.' "

''They're not making you any smarter! You watch reruns and junk DVDs over and over again! It's so annoying!"

''You're so out of it. Movies today are worth watching over and over. Remember 'Finding Nemo'?"

''That idiotic cartoon we saw on the plane?"

''The very one. Johnson writes that 'you can watch Nemo dozens of times and still detect new information with each viewing, precisely because the narrative floats so many distinct story arcs at the same time.' "

''He has little kids. Sleep deprivation has affected his judgment."

''Did you read The New Yorker review of his book, in which Malcolm Gladwell wrote that 'at the elementary-school level, homework seems to be of marginal or no academic value'?"

''I asked Johnson about that. He said that was Gladwell talking. Johnson turns out to be very pro-homework."

''Really? You talked to Johnson? Does he have the Creep Jacking cheat codes?"

''I don't think so. He actually said Warcraft was 'way too complicated' for him to play. Look, I want you to go to the library and check out some books on the Barbary pirates."

''No, I'll just Google them. It won't take a second. Then I'll show you how to attack the Frozen Throne. I think you'll enjoy it. Maybe it'll make you smarter -- you know, for the next column."

Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com