No iPods, no cellphones: surviving that '70s lifestyle
On the upcoming series, ''MTV's The '70s House," a dozen young people will swap their iPods for 8-track players and their PSPs for Pong in what the hyperbolic cable network is calling a ''far-out journey back in time."
''This series will test our audience -- and our contestants -- to see if they're hip to the jive of 1970s kitsch," Lois Curren, MTV's executive vice president of series entertainment, said in a statement. (''Hip to the jive?" Corporate suits only talk like that in press releases.) ''Eating, sleeping, and breathing the 1970s will be a whole new world for these kids who weren't even born when this decade hit the first time around. If the culture shock doesn't wear them out, the '70s-style meals of fondue and TV dinners just might."
Billed as a ''reality competition series," the contestants will be judged on their ability to adjust to life without cellphones, the Internet, and other current-day conveniences. There will be appearances by such '70s staples as Denny ''Dance Fever" Terrio, Jimmie ''J.J." Walker, and former teen heartthrob Leif Garrett. And after weeks of inevitable jokes about leisure suits and Farrah Fawcett hairdos, a winner will be determined, depending on who, according to the press release, ''survives the living conditions."
For now, let's ignore the fact that lots of young people probably survive just fine without MP3 players or text messaging. The more pertinent question is would it really be so hard to live in a world without Paris Hilton, reality TV, and bad Robert De Niro movies?
Obviously, it's easy to make fun of the 1970s. Everyone wore so much polyester it's a wonder we didn't all suffocate, the Captain & Tennille owned radio, and someone convinced way too many people that what they really needed were kitchens outfitted with avocado-green appliances.
At the same time, the '70s remain so culturally influential, it's as if they've never really ended -- just check out the inspirations for some of the big summer releases. ''The Longest Yard" with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock is a remake of a 1974 Burt Reynolds film. ''The Dukes of Hazzard," remade with Jessica Simpson, Johnny Knoxville, and Seann William Scott, first premiered as a TV show in 1979. ''Bewitched," with Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell, originally starred Elizabeth Montgomery and the Dicks -- first York, then Sargent -- and ended its eight-season run in 1972. The much-beloved 1971 film, ''Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" is now ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," starring Johnny Depp.
And, of course, the expression, ''A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away," could be referring to the original ''Star Wars" in 1977. Instead of making the experience into some time-warp version of ''Survivor," ''The '70s House" could offer the young'uns a chance to catch up on vintage pop culture that still informs what they watch and wear today.
Of course, this being MTV, there's a huge commercial tie-in (
If the show stays true to its all-'70s, all-the-time premise, then a few weeks without ''Grand Theft Auto" or ''Halo" doesn't seem so unbearable considering it should also mean not having to endure ''news" about Lindsay Lohan's weight loss, Britney Spears's pregnancy, or a certain ubiquitous and toothy twosome who, for the past few weeks, have made celebrity coupledom even more tedious than usual.
Who wouldn't surrender their cellphone for a month if it meant watching films made during a decade many critics believe was the greatest in the history of cinema? With such films as ''Mean Streets" and ''Taxi Driver," De Niro could again be the greatest actor of his generation instead of wasting his talents in nonsense like ''Meet the Fockers"? (Come to think of it, a return to his '70s form wouldn't be a bad thing either for Martin Scorsese, who directed both of those gritty De Niro classics.)
Premiering July 5, ''The '70s House" will obstensibly show its contestants just how great things are because of all the gadgets dictating and dominating their lives. (Hey, I get it -- I, too, have a deep iPod love bordering on obsession.) Yet, the show's real gift may be proving to a generation that somehow the world may have been better off before Nancy Grace, Blackberrys, and even, MTV.
Renée Graham's Life in the Pop Lane column appears on Tuesdays. She can be reached at graham@globe.com 
