Can gays change their ways?
Dear Beth:
Your advice to a struggling 12-year-old boy was a dangerous ''mixed message." You missed the first red flag: his parents entrusting the care of four young boys to a 16-year-old boy. Yikes -- a recipe for disaster! You continue on to state falsely that people can't change their gender attraction. Have you talked to one of the thousands of ''ex-gays" who exist? Your comment that you ''think" he's too young to become sexually involved is followed by the number for a gay and lesbian hot line? Please, stop trying to be so P.C. and do your homework.
ANONYMOUS
I know many 16-year-old boys mature enough to baby-sit. P.C. had nothing to do with it. In a previous column, I elaborated on the hot lines I recommended. I do believe a 12-year-old is too young for sex, but these hot lines don't focus on sex. Nor do they convert or in any way coerce young people to behave in certain ways. They have people trained to listen and support and make referrals to counselors and resources helpful for young people uncertain about their sexual orientation.
Although some people make claims to be ''cured" homosexuals, no legitimate research to date supports ''conversion" or ''reparative therapy." Any approach may persuade or scare a person into not acting on his or her desires and attractions, at least temporarily. But no research supports that these feelings can be eliminated.
Further, therapy focused on changing sexual orientation can be damaging, provoking guilt and anxiety in a person as they continue to experience desires that they are trying to repress.
For more information on reparative therapy: ''Just the Facts About Sexual Orientation & Youth," American Psychological Association, www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/publications/justthefacts.html; ''Attempts To Change Sexual Orientation," University of California at Davis, http://psychology.uc davis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_changing.html.
Beth can be reached at askbeth@globe.com.
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