Mourning work

When Glenn Burlamachi vacations with his wife and two children, they take two cars. At dinner, he never has more than one glass of wine. ``Would you want me to take your loved one away with alcohol on my breath?" he asks.

Burlamachi, a certified public accountant who will turn 40 next month, became the director and owner of MacRae-Tunnicliffe's Concord Funeral Home two years ago. After graduating from the FINE Mortuary College in Norwood, he gave up his electrical contracting business. ``We built huge gorgeous commercial structures, but it was a thankless job," he said. ``I can now bring someone through my front door at the lowest point in their life and help them."

It used to be that people got into the undertaking business at a young age. The majority of mortuary students were younger than 23.

Nowadays, 64 percent of the students are over 30. Today, a new funeral director is more likely to be someone who made a mid-career change than someone who entered the family business.

``A generation ago the preponderance of students were primarily folks coming from funeral service families," said Michael Smith, executive director of the American Board of Funeral Service Education in St. Joseph, Mo. ``Today, it's been a gradual and consistent shift to students who are primarily older, changing careers, and do not have the background." The average age of new students, he said, has been increasing steadily since 1991. ``Traditional-aged students [those younger than 23] make up only 36 percent of new students today," Smith said.

Kristine Gradowski, associate dean of academic affairs at Briarwood College in Southington, Conn., estimates that half of the students in the Mortuary Science Program are making midlife career changes. Lyn Prendergast, executive vice president of FINE Mortuary College, says her numbers are similar.

Prendergast said the reasons vary -- some older students have retired from civil-service jobs, some have been laid off, and some decide later in life to join the family business. Others enroll because they lost a loved one and were drawn to the profession through that experience. ``Frequently these students want to emulate a wonderful job that a funeral professional did for them, or they had a poor experience and feel they can do a far better job for the bereaved," she said.

Lynne M. Dewey made the switch into funeral services after her 44-year-old husband collapsed in front of her and died within hours from a brain aneurysm. ``I know what it's like to have a doctor come in and say, `Gee, I'm really sorry.' It's a feeling that one can't practice," she said.

Eleven months later, Dewey's mother died of bladder cancer. ``I went from being a married woman with a close relationship with her mom to a widow and an orphan."

At age 46, Dewey recently completed her associate's degree in funeral services from Mount Ida College and is working on her second bachelor's degree in bereavement studies. The former receptionist is also finishing a residency at Boston Harborside Home of JS Waterman & Sons-Waring-Langone, a funeral home in the North End.

``Because of the losses that I'd sustained -- I was alone with my mother when she died and was pretty much alone with [my husband] Bruce when he died -- I had front-row seats, if you will," Dewey said. ``I was no longer really afraid of death."

The undertaking business may have gotten a boost from the popular series ``Six Feet Under" that ran for five seasons on HBO, but Dewey said she's never seen the show. It was her own experience with death that piqued her interest. ``I find it a privilege to have families let you into this sacred and private time of their life -- that they want you to be with them and want your help," she said.

Julie Berger, 44, of Needham spent a decade working as an administrator for Rabbi Samuel Chiel at Temple Emanuel in Newton. Often it was for happy occasions, such as weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, and baby namings, but Berger also lent support to the 1,200-family congregation through difficult times -- divorces, lengthy illnesses, and deaths.

``Whenever there was a funeral service at the temple, I always marveled at how the funeral directors organized everything to run as smoothly for the family as possible," she said. ``There was a part of me that was intrigued."

Now the married mother of two is finishing her degree in funeral services from the New England Institute at Mount Ida College and working at Brezniak-Rodman funeral home in Newton. She has nine more embalmings and an algebra class to go before graduation.

Those who enter the business later in life say they feel they can bring something to the field that they simply could not have done in their 20s.

``Having friends who have been through a death and with my husband losing a parent," Berger said, ``I'm at a different place than I was 20 years ago, understanding what it's like to experience a loss."

After she's finished with a body, she said, she always speaks a final goodbye such as, ``I hope you had a good life" or ``People loved you."

``I know they're not hearing, but maybe they are," she said. ``No one knows. I just want to pay my own respects. Even though I didn't know the person, they were still a human being."

Susan Chaityn Lebovits can be reached at Lebovits@globe.com