Allies in the Middle East

Aida Sadr and Zoe Jick are close friends. They were born two days apart. They both moved from Brookline to Newton at age 16. They car pooled to Milton Academy and graduated in June. They're each taking a gap year before heading to college: Aida to Columbia University, Zoe to Wesleyan.

That's where the similarities end. Aida, who was born in Iran, will spend several months in her native land, while Zoe, whose roots in Israel run deep, will live in Jerusalem. Aida speaks Farsi, Zoe Hebrew. They both leave in mid-September.

The two countries are enemies, with the president of Iran recently calling for Israel to be ``wiped off the map" and Israel responding that Iran should be kicked out of the United Nations. Iran is widely believed to be the force behind Hezbollah's recent attack on Israeli troops, which led to Israeli missiles destroying much of southern Lebanon's infrastructure and killing more than 1,000 people, many of them civilians.

Aida was 3 years old when her family moved to Boston, where her parents earned their doctoral degrees in physics (Dad) and chemistry (Mom) at Boston University. Both sets of her grandparents live in Iran, along with aunts, uncles , and cousins. Aida has been to Iran several times, most recently in March, and she and her parents speak Farsi at home. One of her grandfathers was an Arabic professor.

Zoe's maternal grandparents were Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Israel after the war; her grandmother, along with several other relatives , still lives there, and Zoe has visited 10 times over the years. Her paternal grandfather, a rabbi, was dean of Jewish studies at Brandeis. ``I'm steeped in Jewish culture on both sides," is how Zoe puts it.

The 18-year-old friends try to see the other country's point of view, and hope their generation will be the one to reverse the historical enmity between their beloved lands. At Milton Academy, they both took a course in the history of the Middle East. ``This showed me the other side," says Zoe, who studied for a semester in Israel and spent last summer doing community service there. ``But I wouldn't say the class changed my view at all. I'm still very pro-Israel."

Aida attended Iranian-American Leadership Camp on Thompson Island this summer, where teenagers of Iranian descent learned more about the culture and language. She's reluctant to comment on the current Iranian government, since she will soon be living there. But she does say, ``My mom's very clear: Both sides are to blame. Neither of my parents is anti-Israel. We're a pretty pacifist family."

Despite their different ethnicities, and the current political hostilities, the girls say they can't imagine that their upcoming experiences will affect their friendship. Both keep up with the politics of the Middle East, and plan to take classes in Arabic while living abroad.

Zoe will live in Jerusalem, studying other Jewish cultures in the world through a program called ``Kivunim," or ``New Directions." Field trips will take her to Russia, Lithuania, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Italy, Spain, Morocco, and India.

``I'm so jealous," sighs Aida, noting that Iran isn't on the list. (``Iran does have a decent-size Jewish community," she says.) While planning her trip, she hoped to do volunteer work in Iran, but wasn't sure if it was available -- and if it was , would they allow women to participate?

The group that sponsored her Thompson Island camp stepped in. Iranian Alliances Across Borders, a nonprofit that serves the Iranian diaspora community, helped her find a volunteer group that works with poor children in Tehran. Aida will live in the same apartment building as her grandfather, who owns it, and will take Arabic lessons from him.

As for Zoe, she has done community service with Palestinian children in Jerusalem. ``You can't go to Israel and separate yourself from the Arab community," she says. ``You can't go to Israel and ignore half the people."

She plans to be in Haifa -- the target of many of Hezbollah's recent missiles -- for Rosh Hashana . It's her fervent hope that her generation stays committed to the state of Israel. ``My grandparents' generation founded it, my parents' generation built it up. They had all this hope. And my generation walks into 50 years of things not really getting better. Now more than ever we should work toward keeping Israel safe and alive."

Aida's focus is more on Iran's internal workings than its place in the world. She wishes women had more freedom, even though each time she goes to Iran she notices more small acts of rebellion: a little more hair peeps from beneath women's head scarves, a little more ankle shows. She dresses conservatively there, wearing long pants and jacket, with her head covered.

``Everything in Iran is a paradox," she says. More than 50 percent of college students are women, who also hold government positions, drive cars , and work outside the home, unlike in many Middle Eastern countries. Still, she adds, women are treated unequally in many other ways: in court, in child custody cases, and in marriage.

``Iranian history is very much rooted in tolerance by the rulers toward people of other religions," says Aida, mentioning Cyrus the Great, the founder of Persia who is best remembered for his generosity toward those he defeated.

``Oh, Cyrus!" exclaims Zoe. ``He was great. He let us come back from our exile in, like, 536 BC."

Zoe worries about her friends who have joined the Israeli army and sometimes wishes she could do the same. Aida says she cries when she hears the grim news reports from the area: ``I think the whole thing is just terrible."

Friends keep asking them: Are you still going to Israel? Are you still going to Iran?

``This," says Aida, referring to the recent troubles, ``makes us want to go even more."

Zoe nods. ``We want to be there more than ever." She says she has faith in the Israeli army, which she calls ``the most humanitarian army that exists. They drop pamphlets in civilian neighborhoods before bombings. But Israel has to defend itself. It can't back down, or it wouldn't exist."

Aida describes herself as ``totally anti war" and Zoe hastens to agree. ``More than anything, I wish this wasn't happening at all."

Whatever does ultimately happen, they know that they will remain friends. ``Both of us understand it enough so that we know no one's right and no one's wrong in this situation," says Zoe. And then they're on to another important topic: an upcoming pool party and what to wear.