He slices better than he putts

(Constance Brown photography)

What's a cook from Fall River know about golf? Not much, it turns out. "I didn't even know how to spell golf until I was about 35 years old," said chef Emeril Lagasse, who was knocking the ball around in Norton yesterday at a benefit for his alma mater Johnson & Wales. Lagasse, who lives in New Orleans and owns a whopping 10 restaurants, said business in the Big Easy has never recovered from Katrina. "A lot of people have forgotten about us," said the Food Network star. "But we're working a little more every day." Bam!

Frank McCourt, who swapped 24 acres of prime South Boston real estate for the chance to own the Los Angeles Dodgers, has traded up again. According to the LA Times, McCourt just bought the Malibu manse formerly owned by "Friends" star Courteney Cox and husband David Arquette. McCourt, who bought a house in LA's affluent Holmby Hills neighborhood when he arrived in LA in 2004, paid close to the $33.5 million asking price for Cox's crash pad. (She may have played a ditz on the sitcom, but the actress took McCourt to the cleaners, selling the beach-front abode for three times what she paid six years ago.) Designed by John Lautner, a former apprentice of famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright, the four-bedroom, 5,500-square-foot house has breathtaking ocean views. Of course, McCourt's not gone for good. He still owns a spectacular place in Cotuit.

Springfield, Mass. didn't host the premiere of "The Simpsons Movie," but the city has turned its defeat into profit. Residents sold a life-size, autographed replica of the Simpsons' living room -- including cardboard couch and plastic copies of Homer and the gang -- on eBay yesterday for $9,000. The furnishings and characters were provided to Springfields across the US as part of a competition to host the movie's kickoff party. Springfield, Vt., took top honors, but Massachusetts would not be outdone, getting the plastic goodies signed by Simpsons creator Matt Groening and putting them up for bid. The buyer's name was unavailable yesterday, but we hear the man lives in Hong Kong and purchased the set as a birthday gift for his son. The cash will go to Boys and Girls Clubs in Springfield and West Springfield.

Dollar for dollar, Matt Damon's the best deal in Hollywood, according to Forbes.com. The website has calculated that for every dollar Damon was paid for his last three pictures, the Cambridge-bred actor brought in $29 of gross income. Not bad, eh? That put the 36-year-old "Bourne Ultimatum" star atop a list of 22 Hollywood heavies. Brad Pitt took second place, with a gross income return of $24 for each dollar paid, and Vince Vaughn tied with Johnny Depp for third with $21. Jennifer Aniston is the most profitable actress with a gross income return of $17. Russell Crowe is at the bottom of the list, averaging just $5 in gross income for every dollar spent on the Oscar winner for his last three films, "A Good Year," "Cinderella Man," and "Master and Commander."

Congrats to director Dave McLaughlin, whose movie "On Broadway" captured the Audience Award at this weekend's Woods Hole Film Festival. About a Boston playwright who puts on a production in the back of an Irish pub, the movie stars Joey McIntyre, Eliza Dushku, and Mike O'Malley. "We're thrilled," said Lance Greene, one of the producers. The filmmakers hope the latest award helps them land a distribution deal. . . . Meanwhile, "The Dhamma Brothers," Jenny Phillips' film about 36 prison inmates enrolled in an intensive Vipassana meditation program, was named best feature documentary at the film festival. Jenny is the wife of Globe State House reporter Frank Phillips.

Playwright Israel Horovitz went backstage to see his son Adam before the Beastie Boys' sold-out show at the Opera House Sunday. Said Dadrock of Adrock: "It's been really difficult for Adam to be my son over the years. Young women constantly hit on him in a transparent attempt to get close to me." (In fact, Adam is happily married to Kathleen Hanna, a rock star in her own right.) By the way, the Beastie Boys, who played a second show last night at the Bank of America Pavilion, were eating birthday cake backstage Sunday. Seems Adam Yauch, a.k.a. MCA, was celebrating his 43d birthday.

Word is actress Alicia Silverstone will be at Babson Thursday, participating in a workshop called "Go Green! Transitioning to An Eco-Friendly Lifestyle." The "Clueless" star, who's married to rocker Christopher Jarecki, will talk about her typical day, and the choices she makes with the planet in mind, from water conservation to shopping.

'There's a lot that's beautiful about religion. It's just you get some . . . nutters that misinterpret it.' Sinead O'Connor, whose new album, "Theology," is about God.

Globe correspondent Robbie Brown contributed to this column. Names can be reached at names@globe.com or at 617-929-8253.