Radio jocks strike again

Those radio rascals Opie & Anthony are up to their old tricks again. The pernicious pair announced on their satellite show yesterday that Tom Brady had failed a drug test and was promptly suspended for four games. The report was bogus, of course, but it spread quickly on the Internet. Alarmed listeners even began calling the folks in Foxborough. "We're not commenting on stuff like that," said Pats spokesman Stacey James, sounding more than a little miffed. "We've notified our legal department." You'll recall that in 1998, Opie & Anthony - a.k.a. Gregg Hughes and Anthony Cumia - were fired from WAAF after broadcasting a false April Fool's report that Mayor Tom Menino had been killed in a car accident. Yesterday's gag was apparently part of a fake-news feature that airs Tuesdays.

Tom Brady in briefs? Maybe. In Touch Weekly is reporting that the Pats quarterback is being wooed to become the next celebrity model for - wait for it - Calvin Klein underwear. The mag says the football star's been offered more than $1 million to follow in the footsteps of former Funky Buncher Mark Wahlberg, whose stint in Calvin Klein skivvies served him very well indeed. Brady, who had limited his endorsement deals in past years, is suddenly pitching everything from watches (Movado) to bottled water (Glaceau). While Brady is undecided, In Touch says his supermodel sweetheart, former Victoria's Secret gal Gisele Bundchen, supports the idea.

It's a busy time for Robert Parker (inset) and his family. Tonight the "Spenser" scribe and his wife, Joan, host a kickoff fete for "Nut/Cracked," a satiric sendup of the holiday classic, performed by their son David and his dance troupe, the Bang Group. (At the Roberts Theatre in the Calderwood Pavilion through Saturday.) But Daniel Parker will miss his brother's shows. He's in Santa Fe filming with Jeremy Irons for the adaptation of dad's novel "Appaloosa." As for dad, his latest tome, "Now and Then," hit No. 1 on the Globe bestseller list and ranks No. 8 next week in The New York Times.

Since Curt Schilling's new salary is contingent on keeping his weight down, expect the Sox pitcher to stay very busy this off-season. Next week, for example, Big Schill will be in New York for a celeb-heavy "Salute to Our Troops" sponsored by Microsoft. The aging ace will join "Friday Night Lights" actors Minka Kelly, Connie Britton, and Adrienne Palicki; " 'Til Death" star Joely Fisher; several members of the "Rescue Me" cast, including Callie Thorne and Michael Lombardi; and Miss Universe Riyo Mori.

Last night, it was famed chef Lydia Shire's turn to be waited on and fussed over. Some of Boston's top toques - including Jasper White, Gordon Hamersley, Susan Regis, and Jody Adams - were at the James Beard House in New York to prepare a multicourse meal as a tribute to her. The dinner recognized Shire's revival of Boston institution Locke-Ober and her influence on the city's "culinary landscape." A James Beard Award winner, Shire's working on a new project, Scampo, that she'll open with nightlife kingpin Patrick Lyons at the Liberty Hotel.

What were the Celtics thinking enlisting Elliott Yamin to perform at tonight's game at the TD Banknorth Garden? The guy's not only a lifelong Lakers fan, he hates the gang in green. At least he used to. "I despised the Celtics growing up, as a matter of fact," the "American Idol" finalist admitted to us yesterday. "But don't get me wrong: I'm a fan of the game and I love Kevin Garnett." Who doesn't? Yamin is singing the national anthem tonight and then afterward playing a 45-minute set as part of the Verizon Wireless Concert Series, which last year featured the likes of Chris Brown and Akon. Asked about the C's prospects, Yamin didn't seem overly optimistic. "I would tell Bostonians to be careful with the expectation thing," he said. "Big names can't do it all."

Ben Affleck's better half was among several sirens honored by Glamour magazine with a 2007 Woman of the Year Award. Wearing a floor-length number that some online fashionistas deemed a faux pas, Jennifer Garner (above) joined actresses Jennifer Connelly, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, and Brooke Shields, among others. (The editors chose the former "Alias" star because she's got a "successful career and happy family life while remaining stylish and elegant.") Although she's appearing now in "Cyrano de Bergerac" on Broadway, Garner was able to attend the event at Lincoln Center because the Great White Way goes dark on Mondays.

Jewelry designer Henry Dunay puts a lot of thought into his glittering pieces, which have been worn by everyone from Elizabeth Taylor to Tom Cruise to Princess Diana. But Dunay, who's been making baubles and headlines for 50 years, never grows too attached to his sparkling creations. "I just make the piece and then I let it go," Dunay told us yesterday during his two-day stop at chichi Dorfman Jewelers on Newbury Street. "I have seen a gem or piece that I would like to have back, but this is an expensive business. You have to keep looking forward to the next creation."

Red Sox pitcher Manny Delcarmen signed a few autographs and posed for pictures at Cigar Masters last night. The Hyde Park native got to know the staff at the Back Bay store (he's shown with Jeta Kaziu, director of operations and marketing) when he bought cigars after his son, Manuel, was born in September.

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