Those Cheatin' Gals
In the sordid world of reality television shows, women lie and connive to snag mates and money.
Once upon a time, when feminism began transforming social attitudes toward women, it seemed as though a lot of tedious stereotypes were finally, and thankfully, headed for history's dustbin.
And then along came reality TV, whose goal seems to be to resurrect every last one of those stereotypes.
It has been three years since the "reality" craze began sweeping across the tube like a plague of locusts (which, for all I know, has been an appetizer on Fear Factor by now). To judge by the summer ratings and the fall lineup, reality programs may be ebbing in popularity. But the genre is unlikely to disappear, and neither is the damage from its retrograde depictions of women.
The chief culprits are the "dating" shows. Apart from their sheer imbecility (you can actually feel yourself losing IQ points as you watch), most of these programs have in common a portrait of women as venal creatures willing to sacrifice loyalty, principle, or dignity in a quest for a husband, a boyfriend, or a buck.
"It's quite nasty," remarks Laura Brown, a professor of psychology at Argosy University in Seattle. "What you get is the stereotype of women as lying, conniving, willing to do anything to undercut the rival. This plays into one common theme of how women are perceived in heterosexual relationships: that they will lie, scheme, and cheat in order to get the man."
(Nor, in the festival of squalor that is reality TV, do the men who participate in these cattle calls come off all that well. Men are often depicted, Brown notes, as "predatory, interested in the wrapping rather than the insides." All this gender skirmishing is terrible for preadolescent viewers, Brown says, because the dating shows "do a disservice to what relationships between women and men can be." By contrast, Brown argues that action-oriented reality shows like The Amazing Race and Survivor -- she was a consultant on the Australian version of the latter -- generally treat men and women as equals.)
One of the summer's new reality programs, Cupid, trafficked in another pernicious stereotype: that of the female as castrating shrew. A saccharine-sweet young woman named Lisa underwent serial courtship from a pool of eager men. So far, this merely follows the standard objectification of women seen on many dating shows. But Cupid added a twist: The guys had to run the gantlet of her two mean-spirited friends, Laura and Kimberly, who ripped apart the men on national television after viewing footage of their dates with Lisa. The smirking host of Cupid introduced them with: "What happens if you put lip gloss on a pit bull? Laura!" And this: "Watch out boys, she'll chew you up. It's Kimberly!"
These portrayals of women matter, because television wields an unmatched power to shape social attitudes, for good or ill. Reality programs are especially popular among 18- to 34-year-old viewers, and what they invariably see are women as gold diggers (Joe Millionaire, For Love or Money), women as doormats (Who Wants to Marry My Dad?), women as back stabbers (Temptation Island, Paradise Hotel, Elimidate). Such shows purport to be unscripted, but their producers seem to be following scripts from Hollywood movies at their 1950s creakiest.
And increasingly, "reality" is spilling over into reality, even here in seemingly sober-minded Massachusetts. In August, a Southbridge mother organized a Who Wants to Marry Our Daughter? competition, modeled on Who Wants to Marry My Dad?
But the broader problem is that the culture is taking its cues from a medium that encourages extreme behaviors -- both physical and emotional. Susan Linn, a Harvard psychologist and associate director of the Judge Baker Children's Center, points to an infamous "scavenger" hunt last year by some Newton South High School seniors, in which a variety of sexual stunts were part of the contest.
"What [kids] consume from television are messages about values, including how to treat other people and what's important," Linn says. "People talk about educational television: All television is educational. The question is, what do you want the message to be."
A good question. I have one of my own: Amid all these cartoon versions of women on Cupid and Temptation Island and the rest, can't television make some space for actual women? You know, the kind who exist here in the 21st century rather than in the retro imaginations of producers and programmers?
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