| Mother, May I? | |
Mother, May I?Advice for parents on giving out – and withholding – permission, from new technologies to good old-fashioned coed sleepovers.By Barbara Meltz Some of the decisions we make as parents are researched, others are arbitrary. Some feel good, others feel lousy. There are no magic formulas, but there are a few rules of thumb.IT'S MATURITY, NOT AGE, THAT COUNTS. What some children are capable of handling at 9, others may not be ready for until 10, 11, or even older. The range of "normal" can be huge, even from sibling to sibling. KNOW YOUR CHILD, SURE, BUT KNOW YOUR CHILD'S PEERS, TOO. If your 7-year-old complains that he's the only one with a Star Wars lunchbox, you owe it to him to eyeball the lunchboxes other kids carry. Uh-oh: Shrek is everywhere! When you know the culture of your child's friendship groups, you know what the wiggle room is. FAMILY VALUES COUNT. It's true, children chafe under parent-imposed values. But if your 9-year-old says she hates you because you won't let her watch an R-rated video, that's temporary. If you give in at the video store, she sees the hypocrisy. Losing respect for a parent starts small, but it can last a lifetime. IT'S OK TO TRUST YOUR GUT. It's also OK to get something wrong, especially when you have the grace to say so. And these words can be a parent's best friend: "We'll try it and see how it goes."  |
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