Richard Packenham; lawyer loved Grateful Dead

Richard D. ''Packy" Packenham was a fun-loving lawyer who practiced family law in Boston and was a familiar figure in probate courts throughout the state. He also was a familiar figure at Grateful Dead concerts and usually wore a stuffed bear tied to his shoulder at the shows.

''Everybody knew 'Packy,' " his law partner Phyllis Federico said yesterday. ''He had the best sense of humor, the greatest mind, and the biggest heart of anybody I ever met."

Mr. Packenham, 52, of Walpole died of a brain hemorrhage Monday Oct. 3 in Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. He had been paralyzed since a swimming accident Aug.18, when he was struck by a wave while swimming at Cahoon Hollow Beach in Wellfleet.

Mr. Packenham was born in Newton. He graduated from Harvard College in 1975 and Boston College Law School in 1978.

In the 25th anniversary report of his class at Harvard, he described himself as ''the last of the bleeding heart liberals" and shared what may have been his philosophy on life: ''Yesterday's history; tomorrow's a mystery; let's work on today. Have fun!"

Mr. Packenham was a staff attorney at the Superior Court of the State of Connecticut before joining the Boston law firm of McGrath & Kane in 1979.

In 1994, he joined Federico and Mary Schmidt to form the firm of Packenham, Schmidt and Federico, which specializes in family law, domestic relations litigation, and probate law.

''Packy loved law as much as he loved life, and he loved life to the fullest, " said Federico.

Federico said Mr. Packenham was an advocate of continuing legal education who conducted ''Latest in the Law" seminars for the Massachusetts Bar Association throughout the state.

''He had a joy of teaching that was contagious," she said. ''He was so humorous and smart that he could entertain and educate at the same time."

Boston lawyer George Morrissey said Mr. Packenham attended dozens of Grateful Dead concerts all over the country.

''He was the one who would call you on a Friday night and say, 'The Dead are playing tomorrow night in Madison Square Garden. Let's go.' "

Charles Manning of Hull attended many concerts with Mr. Packenham.

''No matter what he did in law, sports, or just going out to eat, he brought an amazing energy to it," said Manning.

After Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia died and the group broke up in 1995, Mr. Packenham quickly changed his allegiance. ''I made the switch to Phish without too much grumbling," he wrote in his Harvard anniversary report.

Mr. Packenham coached Dedham Youth Hockey and lacrosse and Little League in Walpole.

''He never did anything half-heartedly, ''said Morrissey. " He was a living example of the old saying, 'If you want a job done, ask a busy man.' "

Mr. Packenham leaves his wife, Susan (Smillie); two sons, Colin and Luke, both of Walpole; a daughter, Olivia, also of Walpole; his mother, Mary Packenham of Auburndale; and a brother, Laurence of Bedford.

A funeral Mass will be said at 11 a.m. tomorrow in St. Catherine's Church in Norwood. Burial will be in St. Francis Cemetery in Walpole.