Noreen Maxwell-Folan, 39; found strength in self, good in all
When friends and family said their last goodbyes to Noreen Bridget Maxwell-Folan in Ireland on April 1, the most poignant words were spoken by her 8-year-old daughter, Melissa. In a child's voice but with grown-up wisdom, Melissa spoke of her mother's love "for everyone she met. If we were bad or good, she loved us, no matter what."
Her mother had been "very strong," Melissa told mourners at the funeral service in Louisburgh, Ireland, a trait she had passed on, friends said, to her only daughter. "She was a nice and thoughtful person, always helping others, sharing and giving. . . . Now, at last, may Noreen rest in peace forever and ever. . . . I love you Mommy."
Mrs. Maxwell-Folan, of Weymouth, a reiki healer, polarity therapist, and feng shui practitioner, died March 30 at her parents' home in Louisburgh in County Mayo after a long battle with breast cancer. She was 39.
She and her husband, Seamus, and their three children had traveled to Ireland in August to attend her 20th high school reunion and the wedding of her brother. Mrs. Maxwell-Folan had planned to return to Weymouth but stayed on longer to be with her family and enjoy the serenity of the Irish landscape, said her sister Ann Marie Maxwell of Quincy.
Her children remained with her as did her husband, while making several trips home to tend to business. Though her illness worsened in September, her sister said, and she was hospitalized and under hospice care, "Noreen never gave up her belief that she would get better."
Diagnosed more than two years ago with stage three cancer, Mrs. Maxwell-Folan chose not to undergo chemotherapy and radiation, her husband said, although near the end in Ireland, he said, she did consent to radiation.
"Noreen never wanted to die," he said. "She has a 4-, 6- and 8-year-old."
A close friend, Noreen Burke of Medford, said Mrs. Maxwell-Folan "did a lot of self-reflection. It's fair to say that she evoked positive things to combat the negative things going on in her body."
Given her diagnosis, Burke said, Mrs. Maxwell-Folan believed that chemotherapy was not the way for her and she put her energy into learning about holistic and alternative medicine approaches, Burke said.
"She became well-read on cancer and tried to get the nutritional approaches to make her body strong," she said. "She was very spiritual. She used prayer and went to various healers, as well. In Ireland, people believe strongly in the miracle of prayer."
While she was in Boston, one of her "special places" to go to pray, her husband said, was St. Anthony's Chapel on Arch Street.
She was born in Boston, the eldest of six children of Tony and Tess Maxwell. When she was 9, her parents, who had emigrated from Ireland, moved back there. When she turned 18, Noreen Maxwell returned to Boston to launch her career.
She and Burke met when both worked as caregivers for the elderly and as nannies for children. Later, Mrs. Maxwell-Folan trained as an aesthetician and massage specialist at Elizabeth Grady's on Newbury Street. In 1996, she graduated from Lesley College, now Lesley University, with a bachelor's degree in liberal arts.
At Lesley, she met Donna Memont of Saugus, a reiki healer who taught her hands-on energy healing.
"Noreen had more power in her baby finger than most of us have in our whole bodies," she said. She and Seamus Folan, also a native of Ireland, met at the Emerald Isle in Fields Corner and were married in Ireland in 1997.
Mrs. Maxwell-Folan was an exemplary mother, friends said. "Noreen was a natural," said Caroline Mahon of Louisburgh, a friend since they were 9.
She remained an example to others during her final days, said Mahon, who spent the last eight months with her. On March 23, her family gathered around her for a Mass that she requested be held at her parents' home.
"Noreen wanted it to be a celebration of family, friends, life, and love," said her sister Ann Marie. Her brother, Bill Maxwell, who was serving with the US Army in Iraq, got special leave to attend the Mass.
The Mass was also the occasion for Melissa's First Communion and the priest suggested that since her mother had given her life, she should also serve her daughter the Holy Eucharist.
Mrs. Maxwell- Folan remained an example to others through her illness, friends said. She continued writing the Irish-themed one-act plays and short stories she had always worked on and listened to the music she loved, everything from "traditional Irish to the hits from the 1980s," Mahon said.
She had always wanted to learn how to play guitar and before she died, her sister bought her one.
A teacher, "a wonderful man called Denis, had Noreen tapping away to the music while he played guitar and sang her favorite songs," Mahon said.
She never complained, Mahon said.
"Faith was what kept Noreen going for so long through those last difficult months," she said. "Faith not only in her Creator but her faith in herself and in all around her. There was good in everybody, she believed. We just have to look for it."
In addition to her husband, daughter, parents, sister, and brother, Mrs. Maxwell-Folan leaves two sons, Lucas and William; two other brothers, Tony Maxwell of Quincy and Jimmy Maxwell of County Mayo, and another sister, Tina Maxwell of County Mayo.
Mrs. Maxwell-Folan was cremated. Part of her ashes remained in Ireland; the rest were brought back to Boston.
A memorial Mass to celebrate her life will be said at 7 p.m. tomorrow at St. Mark Church in Dorchester. 