Betsy and Leigh FitzGerald; 4 decades 'on the same path'

Intelligent and intense, Betsy and Leigh FitzGerald met in the most natural of circumstances, at work.

Each was from a family steeped in history. She had served as a Navy cryptographer and could trace her lineage to the Mayflower. He was a utility executive whose mother was one of the first two women elected to the state Legislature. They married more than four decades ago and remained together until the end, dying a day apart.

"Within an hour of my mom passing away it was very clear that my dad couldn't live without her," said their son Ross, of Watertown.

"I'm still somewhat in awe of my father because he had such an intellect, and I think he had a very powerful will," said their son Gordon, of Clinton. "My dad would say things like 'mind over matter,' and I think he really believed that was true. I think once Betsy died he said, 'My purpose is finished, there's no point in continuing,' and he just willed himself to go."

Mrs. FitzGerald, 86, died last Wednesday and Mr. FitzGerald, 93, died Thursday, each of congestive heart failure, in the Brookhaven at Lexington retirement community, where they had lived for several years after moving from Cambridge.

"I think they had a very good, loving relationship, and really didn't talk a lot, but seemed to know what they wanted," said their daughter Hope Taylor, of Little Compton, R.I. "They were both on the same path."

Even in the past few months, when their health was failing and Mrs. FitzGerald spoke so softly as to be barely audible, "he absolutely tuned right in to her and her moods and feelings," Taylor said. "It was quite remarkable. He was so tuned in to her and her ways, and vice versa. They just blended together."

Richard Leigh FitzGerald was born in Jamaica Plain, into a family of means that saw its fortunes fade in the Depression. His mother, Susan Walker FitzGerald, a Democrat who had long campaigned for women's suffrage, was elected to the Massachusetts House in 1922, the same year Sylvia Donaldson was elected as the first female Republican in the House.

He studied Greek and Latin at Roxbury Latin and was a history major at Princeton University. Three years after graduating from college, he married Frances Abbott Phillips and embarked on a four-decade career with New England Electric Systems.

Mr. FitzGerald and his first wife had four children and lived in Waban. Quiet, thoughtful, and studious, he considered leaving the utility to enter academia and teach the classics, but being a provider always came first.

"He said every time he had thoughts like that, he'd get a promotion and a pay raise," Gordon said. "He had a very strong sense of responsibility to his family and society. That always seemed to win."

Mr. FitzGerald rose to become a vice president and vice chairman of the board, a key player in negotiations over rates.

"I think he considered that what he was doing was not just for himself and his family, but for society," Gordon said. "I think he viewed his job as trying to ensure that there would be electricity available for people. So part of his job was planning ahead and making sure there was enough to meet future demands."

"He took a real, genuine interest in people," said his son David, of West Brookfield. "He found out about everybody and he treated everybody fairly. I don't believe he ever had an enemy."

Mr. FitzGerald's first marriage ended in the early 1960s, and Francis died in 1975. Nancy Henry, their daughter, died in 1985.

His second wife, Betsy Prettyman Norton, was born in Douglas, Ariz., where her father had worked in the copper mine industry, and returned with her family to Medford three years later.

"She loved chocolate," Ross said. "To go along with this, her favorite colors were tan and brown."

She majored in economics at Radliffe College, and "even before graduation she joined up with the Navy in cryptography," said her sister, Barbara Norton of North Andover. "The minute graduation was over she was shipped off to Smith College for training."

She added with a chuckle, "Because of her training in the Navy, I think she was utterly discreet."

After the Navy, Betsy Norton went to work at New England Electric, where for a time Mr. FitzGerald was her boss. In the years before marrying, Mrs. FitzGerald traveled extensively with her friend Mary Ahern, of Peabody. The two had attended Radcliffe in the early 1940s and served as successive presidents of The Idlers, a theater club.

"I said, 'I really want to just take a geography book and travel around Africa,' and she was game to do it," Ahern said. From Africa, Betsy brought home as a gift for Mr. FitzGerald a carved ebony elephant.

They married after he divorced. Their only child, Ross, took his first name from the family of Mrs. FitzGerald, who counted Betsy Ross among her ancestors. The family lived in Cambridge.

"Betsy was always there. She never forced herself on anybody as the mother figure," Taylor said. "She simply started doing Thanksgiving every year, Christmas every year, so everyone would get together."

Neither of the FitzGeralds was particularly gregarious. Among family and friends alike, they led quietly, by example.

"Daddy worked very hard all his life to provide for his family and be sure they were well educated," Taylor said. "That was so important to him. Material things had little meaning."

"Their influence was quite great, but in private ways," Ahern said.

In addition to their four children and Mrs. FitzGerald's sister, the FitzGeralds leave four grandsons; two granddaughters; one great-granddaughter; and one great-grandson.

A service has been held.