Offenders learn to confront their rage, change behavior
Last month, 10 men sat in a circle in the children's playroom of a Boston church as part of their court-ordered punishment for violating restraining orders or assaulting their partners.
The session leader, Tony Burns, stood in front of them and explained the rules to the newer members. Don't be late. Don't show up drunk. Do not drink one day before or one day after each session.
Why not? Burns asked veterans of the program.
"People leave here [angry], go get drunk, and catch a case," answered one of them. The Globe did not identify any of the participants by name because the meetings are supposed to be confidential.
For 40 weeks, the men are required to go to the church for weekly sessions run by Common Purpose, a Boston-based intervention program meant to help batterers confront their behavior and understand what led them to become abusive.
During this session, the men cracked many jokes, nearly all of them tinged with bitterness. Burns asked the men why they continued to come when others have dropped out of the sessions.
"I have no choice," one young man said. "I don't want to go to jail. They must like jail."
One man asked Burns whether women accused of domestic violence are ordered to batterers' programs. He said not as often, eliciting guffaws from the men.
Burns kept his voice calm as he asked them what made them angry or why they refused to walk away from a fight.
Toward the end of the session, one participant, a man in neatly pressed slacks and a dark leather jacket, acknowledged he handled a recent confrontation with his estranged wife poorly. She wanted him out of the house, and he refused to leave. Their fight became heated, and he grabbed her, though he said he never struck her. "I snapped," he said. "This is where I live. This is where I pay my bills."
He told Burns he had a plan for what he would do next time he needed to return to the apartment to visit his children. He would walk away the moment it appeared he and his wife might start fighting. "Be cool," the man said. "That's all I can do."
It was a small step, but one Burns said gave him hope. "If you don't call these guys on their stuff, they're just going to do it again," he said after the session. "If guys aren't being ordered to the program, I wonder what the consequences are for their partners."
