Carnal satisfaction ebbs for 45-plus set
Survey finds more acceptance of sex outside marriage
NEW YORK — Americans 45 and older are far more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago, but they’re engaging in sex less often and with less satisfaction, according to a major new survey by AARP.
AARP’s sex and relationship expert, sociologist Pepper Schwartz, thinks financial stress is a prime culprit for the decline in frequency and satisfaction.
“The economy has had an impact on these people,’’ she said. “They’re more liberal in their attitudes, yet they’re having sex less often. The only thing I see that’s changed in a negative direction is financial worries.’’
The survey, being released today, is based on detailed questionnaires completed last year by 1,670 people 45 and older. The AARP, which represents 40 million Americans over 50, conducted similar surveys on sexual attitudes and practices in 1999 and 2004.
One of the most pronounced changes over the 10-year span dealt with sex outside of marriage. In the 1999 survey, 41 percent of the respondents said nonmarital sex was wrong. That figure dropped to 22 percent in the new survey.
Yet sexual activity — marital or not — seems to be less frequent overall for this age group. In the new survey, 28 percent said they had intercourse at least once a week, and 40 percent at least once a month — both categories were down roughly 10 percentage points from 2004.
Asked whether they were satisfied with their sex lives, 43 percent in the new survey said yes, down from 51 percent in 2004.
One intriguing finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren’t married had sex more frequently and with more satisfaction than respondents who were married.
“These long-term married couples may get a little less interested,’’ Schwartz said. “Older people in nonmarried relations work harder at it and enjoy it more.’’
Schwartz, a professor at the University of Washington and author of 16 books on relationships, said it was notable how even respondents in their 70s and 80s stressed that sex was important to their quality of life.
“The big difference as people age is not that sex becomes less important but that a partner becomes less accessible,’’ she said.
Gender differences were pronounced in several responses. Men think about sex and engage in it more often than women, and are about twice as likely as women to admit to sexual activity outside their primary relationship.
The survey asked respondents what would improve their sexual satisfaction.
Twenty percent of the women and 37 percent of the men said better health; 14 percent of the women and 26 percent of the men said better personal finances.
One heartening development, Schwartz said, was that more older singles are venturing onto online dating services.