A misunderstood disability

Just before Thanksgiving, B and his family were granted a restraining order requested by the state against a 41-year-old Quincy neighbor who allegedly verbally abused and harassed the boy, calling him a "retard" and "an animal."

Neighbors were horrified. Strangers were shocked. But many parents of autistic children were anything but surprised.

"This is something that we see all the time," said Jacky Sullivan, president of the Autism Center of the South Shore. "People have little understanding of how our children act. Even within our own families, people have a hard time accepting that our children can't be molded to behave in the same way as typical children."

Autism is a developmental disability that can severely affect a person's capacity to communicate and socially interact with others.

Individuals with this lifelong neurological disorder, which is four times more prevalent in males than females, often become confused and respond inappropriately in social situations. Some may be unable to control their actions, such as head banging, squealing, or bolting.

Because there are usually no physical disabilities associated with autism, people often perceive autistic individuals as "normal" and view their actions as misbehavior rather than symptoms of a disorder, according to Sullivan.

"There is a widespread lack of understanding and sensitivity," said Stan Eichner, director of litigation for the Disability Law Center of Massachusetts.

Eichner said people often respond to those with disabilities in patronizing or antagonistic ways.

"People don't understand the many challenges there are for families who have someone with a disability," Eichner said.

Parents of autistic children have reported being kicked out of restaurants and public buildings, and scolded by strangers for being bad parents unable to control their kids.

B's mother testified in Norfolk Superior Court that everywhere she goes, people make negative comments about her son. She's been told by health professionals that the best way to handle such situations is to ignore the comments and leave, she said.

Autism is believed to affect 1 in 250 people and the number of diagnoses has increased dramatically over the past two decades.

Improved diagnostic techniques and changes in the criteria for autism spectrum disorders may account for part of the jump. But the majority of experts agree that these changes don't completely explain the epidemic rates at which autism is being diagnosed. Autism is considered a spectrum disorder because the number and intensity of symptoms can vary widely.

The Autism Center of the South Shore was launched two years ago with funding from the state Department of Mental Retardation. The organization has a governing board, about 25 active committee members, and a mailing list of more than 375 families with autistic children.

Alice Moore, chief of the Public Protection Bureau in the state attorney general's office, said the incidents of hate and harassment experienced by people with disabilities is increasing.

Lisa Attenazio said she fought for a year to have a fence installed at an apartment complex run by the Medford Housing Authority because her 5-year-old son repeatedly bolted into the street to chase after cars. The fence finally was constructed in August, but after her son was struck by a car and the Disability Law Center and the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination stepped in to help.

Since the fence went up, Attenazio said, unhappy neighbors, including a former baby-sitter, have refused to shut the gate. They have threatened Attenazio, called her "white trash" and said her son doesn't belong there, according to police reports.

"There's a lot of people who are very ignorant to disabilities," Attenazio said. "We get it a lot. A lot."

The Autism Center of the South Shore began distributing business-card-sized notes to parents, for when they find themselves at a loss to explain their child's disorder.

The card reads, in part: "You may be puzzled by my child's behavior. It is not boldness nor lack of discipline that causes it; my child has autism."

Sullivan said many parents have resigned themselves to isolating their children from society because of the frustrating and upsetting reactions they face.

"That is very sad," Sullivan said. "But there are many parents like myself who are determined to have their children be a part of the community, and my community will have to accept my child the way they are."

Jenn Abelson can be reached at abelson@globe.com.