A dress rehearsal
At wedding expo, same-sex couples envision big day
Of the many same-sex marriage events in Boston since the Supreme Judicial Court paved the way for gays and lesbians to marry, nearly every one has been marked by impassioned protesters, some preaching, many waving placards, and nearly all chanting slogans. But yesterday, there was no hullabaloo. "The Pink Event," sponsored by Bloomingdale's at Back Bay's Lenox Hotel, purposely was not advertised to the general public. Organizers instead chose direct advertising to the gay and lesbian communities.
"We did target it very specifically," said Chris Willis, a manager at Bloomingdale's in Chestnut Hill.
The event drew more than 150 people and featured more than a dozen vendors hoping to cash in on the same-sex marriage market. Dozens of gay and lesbian couples checked out wedding bands, floral arrangements, and place settings. Nearly two-dozen signed up for a gift registry. Couples modeled the latest in same-sex marriage attire culled from the collections of Hugo Boss and Vera Wang. Guests dipped strawberries in a chocolate fountain and sampled all manner of cakes.
But as many a hopeful bride and groom browsed the offerings at what was supposed to be a celebration of gays and lesbians' newly realized rights, many said they could not help feeling a tinge of dread.
"In the midst of all this joy, there's always this pull: Is somebody going to sweep this out from under our feet?" said Benet Sokoloff, who attended the expo with her partner of 23 years. "It's sort of hard. There's that bittersweet sort of feeling."
Nearly every week brings news of some effort or another to stop gay marriage from going forward May 17. From the governor's attempts to secure a stay of the Supreme Judicial Court's decision to a state lawmaker's recent move to unseat the court's judges, many gays and lesbians yesterday said they were living on the edge of their seats.
Sokoloff recalled the situation in Hawaii in the mid-1990s, when the state Supreme Court ruled that denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples violates the Hawaii Constitution.
"We were all going to go to Hawaii, we were so excited," Sokoloff said.
But legislators there amended state law limiting marriage to one man and one woman, and the state Supreme Court eventually sided with legislators.
"After Hawaii came so close," said Sokoloff's partner, Pauline Paquin, "we decided we're not doing anything until it's legal."
Here in Massachusetts, same-sex marriages are poised to become legal. A constitutional amendment providing civil unions but not marriage to same-sex couples was passed by the Legislature, but it must be passed again next year, and then ratified by voters in 2006, to take effect.
Still, planning a wedding seemed a little risky for many couples at yesterday's expo.
"We don't want to make plans unless we're sure," said Paul McGrath, plucking canapes from a silver tray with his partner of 13 years, Lorenzo Claudio. McGrath and Claudio, though, could not help trying on wedding bands.
For Bloomingdale's part, Willis said same-sex couples planning to tie the knot are a "virgin market" that high-end retailers are just beginning to tap. Willis conceived of yesterday's exposition 18 months ago, before the court decision.
"I'm gay, and I thought, `Why isn't this out there? Why isn't there a specific expo for gay and lesbian couples?' " he said. So he broached the idea at a meeting in New York, and got approval for the project. Yesterday's event was so successful, Willis said, he's planning another this fall.
As photographers, wedding planners, and makeup artists worked the crowd, handing out cards and touting their crafts, Oleg Vyadro stood quietly against a wall, watching. Vyadro works for Persona, a jewelry retailer displaying same-sex wedding bands.
"It's the oldest story there is, the law of love. There's a controversy," he said, motioning out the window and toward the State House a few blocks away. "But here it's very subtle. I like it."
Paquin and Sokoloff sat in a room next door, admiring some of the floral arrangements and place settings. They have picked a tentative date, Sept. 4, and decided on an oceanfront wedding in Cohasset. But they said they won't be counting on it just yet.
"Three weeks is a very long time," Sokoloff said with a sigh. "It's a long, deep breath."
Donovan Slack can be reached at dslack@globe.com. 