At churches, acceptance nudges opposition

The clergy and congregation at New Covenant Christian Church in Mattapan have been persistent, determined critics of same-sex marriage, but yesterday, on the eve of today's start to legal same-sex weddings in Massachusetts, the church's senior minister, Bishop Gilbert A. Thompson Sr., acknowledged defeat, at least for the moment.

"We recognize some things are going to change," he told about 1,200 worshipers gathered at the state's largest Protestant church, a nondenominational evangelical congregation.

At churches throughout Eastern Massachusetts yesterday, the fiery rhetoric of battle gave way to an acceptance -- grudging in some cases, celebratory in others -- that today men are going to marry men and women are going to marry women in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

At some services, clergy didn't mention the same-sex marriage debate, which has divided the state's religious community like few recent issues. And those who did used relatively quiet rhetoric.

Thompson, the incoming president of the Black Ministerial Alliance of Greater Boston, struck a similar tone in brief remarks as he prepared to distribute Communion. He devoted his sermon not to the subject of same-sex marriage, but to an explication of several biblical texts.

"We as Americans believe that people have rights, and we are certainly not trying to deny homosexuals the right to live the way that they want to live, but we don't believe that they have the right to change the definition of marriage," Thompson said to a resounding "Amen" from the assembly.

Asked later why same-sex marriage was not discussed at greater length, an associate pastor, Troy Goode, said, "At this stage of the game, we don't know what to do." Goode said the legalization of same-sex marriage is "an attack" on traditional marriage and he called the debate "insulting" to African-Americans because it has been compared to the civil rights movement."We've done all we know how to do, and now it's in the Lord's hands."

At Union Baptist Church in Cambridge, another church whose leader has been an outspoken critic of same-sex marriage, the pastor focused on cautioning parishioners not to get involved with any groups that foment violent or inflammatory protests.

"Regardless of how you feel about this issue, those kinds of groups I want you to stay far away from," said the Rev. Jeffrey L. Brown. "This is not a way to react. . . . We ought to pray there be civility and some measure of sense in the midst of all this."

Parishioners said they were still concerned. "Further down the road for generations, this is going to affect us and our families," said Anna Dreher of Medford. But like the clergy, she emphasized tolerance, saying of same-sex couples, "We're going to love them, we're going to accept them. They're human and we're human and just have different views. And God has his eye on the whole situation, anyway."

At Grace Chapel in Lexington, a large, nondenominational evangelical Protestant congregation, the pastor, F. Bryan Wilkerson, didn't mention same-sex marriage, but urged worshipers to "pray that we might be a people that makes a statement to the world about what love really looks like."

After the service, he said his sermon was an effort "to put out there the biblical version of marriage, that it is a union of two different people, male and female, who become one."

At Trinity Church in Boston's Copley Square, a large Episcopal parish that has been struggling with an internal debate over the rector's plans to bless, but not marry, same-sex couples, the Rev. Samuel T. Lloyd III, the church's rector, said in his sermon, "everything that matters begins with a dream," and that for gay couples, that dream includes recognition of their union.

"You will hear our gay and lesbian friends say, `Help us to create families as loving and secure as those straight families seek,' " he said.

A handful of congregations yesterday held celebrations of the state's plans to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples starting today. In Littleton, for example, First Church Unitarian held a special service to congratulate its gay and lesbian members.

"Why is a church celebrating a court decision? We celebrate when law makes justice, because justice is essential to religion," said the Rev. Fred Small, the minister of the Unitarian Universalist congregation. "When it is not, religion has slipped its moorings and drifted from the divine."

The congregation collectively offered blessings to about 20 same-sex couples, prompting Carole Tillis and Carolyn McCreary of Ayer to rise and declare they were suddenly revising their plans for a private, quiet wedding this week.

"We're so excited that we want to invite all of you," McCreary told the packed church.

Jenn Abelson, Lisa Kocian, Christine McConville, and Peter Schworm of the Globe staff contributed to this report. Michael Paulson can be reached at mpaulson@globe.com.