The road wearier

Siobhan McGurk would love to spend more than 45 minutes a night during the week with her 2-year-old son before he goes to bed. Bai P. Margolin would like to exercise when she gets off work. And Rick Murray wishes he could attend more evening functions at the university where he teaches.

But none of them can. McGurk, who lives in Hull, spends about four hours a day driving to and from her job as a researcher at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. Margolin is exhausted after 2 hours on the bus and car to Plympton from her job at New England Medical Center, where she is a coding specialist. Murray is tethered to the commuter boat schedule to get him from his home in Scituate to his Boston University job.

Like others who live south of Boston, the three have some of the longest average commutes in the state, according to a recently published study. For that, they pay a hefty price. Commuting can cost thousands of dollars a year in gas, train passes, and parking. It also takes its toll on the steadiest nerves. But, commuters say, the biggest price they pay is the loss of time for leisure, exercise, and family. As they juggle their lives and their treks to their jobs, many wonder: How long can I do it?

Drawing from 1990 and 2000 US Census data, the study by MassINC put eight area towns among the state's top 20 with the longest average commutes. The census information came out of random surveys of households with members who commute to work in their respective towns and elsewhere. One-way commutes in those eight communities -- Plympton, Hull, Duxbury, Scituate, Marshfield, Halifax, Pembroke, and Carver -- ranged from 35.74 to 41.47 minutes.

However, area residents say the reality is far worse than the averages indicate, especially when their commute is to Boston. From almost anywhere south of Boston, it takes at least an hour each way -- be it by car, bus, or train, according to commuters interviewed recently. If there is bad weather or an accident, the trip can take as long as three hours, said McGurk.

A multivehicle accident on Route 3 left Marty True stuck in traffic so long that she half-jokingly made a promise to herself. ''I swore that if I'm ever the one in an accident, I'll be begging the EMTs to drag me aside so as not to block traffic," said the Duxbury resident, who has been commuting to Boston for 10 years by car and train. ''It's pretty bad when you have to feel that way."

McGurk and her husband, Christin Krahforst, who commutes by car to the North End, must plan out the details of their lives to stay on track.

They take turns picking up and dropping off the baby at day care. ''If someone gets a cold, it's a disaster," she said. ''There's such small room for error." They work longer hours four days a week so they can telecommute at least one day a week. They reserve Tuesday as family night to make sure everyone spends at least 90 minutes together, she said. ''You feel like you are always in catch-up mode," said McGurk, 40.

''We talk a lot about what's the payoff," she said. ''You work in Boston because you get paid more than if you were working in Quincy or local cities. And we're both in high-prestige areas within our respective fields. . . . But the flip side is all the hours and the time commuting."

McGurk and others seem caught in the same place -- between two loves. They love the home and town in which they have settled. They also love the job and salary that pay for the home.

Margolin has commuted from Plympton to Chinatown for 20 years. ''There are a lot of things I would like to do to better myself but I'm not able to do because of the commute," she said. ''Sometimes, I'd like to stay in town and have dinner with friends. But which bus would I take" to get home?

She has never considered moving closer to her job. ''I like my town. I love my house. You just get to the point where there are certain things you have to accept," said Margolin, 50.

Murray, an oceanography professor and head of the department of earth sciences at Boston University, makes the most of his 1-hour (or longer) commute by enjoying the view from the commuter boat, which he takes from Hingham. But he said he doesn't like being tied to the boat schedule that often prevents him from staying for after-school functions. If an event is essential, he reluctantly drives in, but that means getting up earlier than his usual 5:30 a.m.

''It takes away from leisure time, like going for a walk for exercise," said Murray, 41. ''I see many of my neighbors who work in the area and they come home from work and cut the lawn. I can't do that."

Colin McDonald can. The neocritical-care specialist lives in Braintree. For eight years, he commuted to Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston to work. But in 2002 he joined South Shore Hospital in Weymouth to head a new stroke program. It was a great opportunity for him professionally, but the commute also played a big role in his decision, he said.

''My kids were growing up, and there were two hours a day I was using to commute," said McDonald, whose children are 9 and 11. Now, his commute is about 16 minutes -- roundtrip.

''My life has changed immeasurably," he said.

Sandy Coleman can be reached at sbcoleman@globe.com.