David Parker, at odds with his community

David Parker says the past year has made him think more than ever about what it means to be a good father. He wants what's best for his two young sons, but it has put him at odds with the community in which he lives.

''We have to know what other adults are saying to our children," Parker said during a recent interview in his Lexington home. He and his wife, Tonia, felt their son's school was not upfront about presenting topics that the Parkers deem contentious in his kindergarten classroom.

In January, their youngest son brought home a ''diversity book bag," which included a book depicting same-sex couples. The Parkers said they never received two school notices about the bag, which also included puppets and recipes for ethnic dishes.

The Parkers said that according to their Christian beliefs, homosexuality is a sin. They support teaching their children tolerance for all people, but they said topics like homosexuality are too confusing to explain to young children.

''You would think from some media accounts that, when I saw the book, I ran out of the house with my hair on fire. It isn't about a book," Parker said. ''It's about the school taking the position that they're not going to give us information that we need to guide our child through controversial and debatable social issues."

During an April meeting at the school, during which Parker hoped to opt his son out of discussions about families with same-sex parents, he was arrested for trespassing. Parker refused to leave until school officials made assurances that they would comply with his wishes. Officials did not agree to pull the child out of class discussions deemed inappropriate by the Parkers.

''When it comes to my children and the discussion of these topics, I have got to know how they're doing it and when they're doing it. And that's what we asked for," Parker said.

The case has attracted national attention. Various groups -- mostly conservative -- have invited Parker to address the issue of what schools are teaching children today.

This fall, he and his wife made a television advertisement sponsored by the Coalition for Marriage, a group that urged Maine voters to repeal a state law that bans discrimination based on sexual orientation.

The ad pictured the couple in their living room as Parker said, ''When I objected to my 5-year-old being exposed to pro-homosexual curriculum in school, I was arrested and jailed. You know, they say they won't discriminate, but they discriminated against us. Please, protect your right to protect your children, while you still have it."

Parker said he made the ad because he stood against the Maine law. (It was not repealed in the November election.)

''I'm concerned with codifying transgenderism and homosexuality into written law, since it is interpreted as a validation and affirmation of these choices and lifestyles," he explained.

In his opinion, the laws are then ''leveraged to normalize these lifestyles and choices in schools beyond the parents' reach without notification, and if necessary, against their will."

Parker feels the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts has curbed his rights as a parent.

Because gay marriage is legal, he said, it is harder for him to raise questions about mentions of it in school.

Parker won't disclose details about his profession or educational background because the issue is about him as a father. He said that he and his wife have no history of activism and that his beliefs excluded him from the community.

After his arrest he was banned from school property for seven months and could not drop off his children at school or attend committee meetings.

As a result, Parker said, he could not defend himself to the school community.

''It was easier for them to believe that I was hateful and bigoted and a homophobe than to sit down and have a discussion with me," he said.

Lexington school officials did not return phone calls seeking comment for this article.

Parker said he does not hate gay people, but he disagrees with their choices. Moreover, he said, his son was too young to learn about homosexuality at age 5.

''The fact is this: parents do not give unfettered and unmonitored access to the psyches of their children. Teachers and the school [administrators] are accountable to the parents of the children," Parker said.

The Parkers said their beliefs are not welcomed in Lexington.

''It's not the welcoming and respectful community that they presented themselves to be," he said. ''They broke a promise to us."

They plan to keep asking the school for specific information about what's being discussed in the classroom. Parker said. ''This has not been resolved. And it's by no means over."