To tell the truth, she's finally found her path in life

The woman sitting here in this cozy Mattapan studio apartment making easy conversation in a T-shirt that reads ''EMPOWERING" has eyes that carry a soft but unwavering stare.

It's the kind of look that says she's beaten herself up so much, she doesn't care what anybody else might think about her.

Years ago, she made news when she was fired as a Boston police officer after she pointed a gun at a cab driver's head in downtown Boston while she was off-duty. Mall security cameras captured the whole dramatic scene.

Around that time, the emotional fallout from a rape in her Mattapan apartment and years of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of her father began catching up to her, she says.

She abused cocaine to deaden her pain. She was lost.

''I could have gone either to the left, which was negative, or the right, which was positive," she said. ''I chose the right."

And she wound up on a path she confidently walks on today as an advocate for sexual abuse survivors by putting a spotlight, a face, on the issue.

Debbie Chambers organizes annual conferences called ''To Tell The Truth" that feature other sex abuse survivors, counselors, and doctors in hopes that others will step forward about an issue that is often silenced in families and communities.

She also travels around Dorchester, Roxbury, and Mattapan, speaking at churches and community health centers about how to prevent abuse -- or heal from it.

''To anybody who is a victim of sexual abuse, healing is possible," said Chambers, a slight woman. ''I'm not a bad person. I just went through bad things. The conferences continue to help me heal."

Walk up to Chambers and chances are, she'll give you a hug with two sweet air kisses. She peppers her greetings with ''Have a blessed day." Years ago, her spirit was so broken that she wouldn't have done so.

She shares her story to anyone who listens; that has included audience members and home viewers in 2002 of the ''Sally Jessy Raphael" talk show, when Chambers was a guest, and clients of the Codman Square Health Center, where she recently held a conference, which was free and open to the public.

"She is a very strong person and a person who is really zealous," said Bill Walczak, chief executive officer of the Codman Square Health Center in Dorchester. ''You know good things are going to happen because of her strength, her ability to be able to talk about these issues openly."

Some local counselors add that the taboo of the topic is a wall Chambers is trying to break down.

''It's hard to rally people around sex abuse in children," said Barbara Bullette, a counselor and manager of the sex abuse and domestic violence programs at the Roxbury Multi-Service Center. ''A lot of people don't believe it happens and when it does happen, they are too ashamed to talk about it. She is making it more comfortable for people to come forward."

While growing up in Dorchester, Chambers said, she was sexually abused by her late father. Her earliest memory of the abuse was when she was 5. She said it continued until she was 16.

''I realized this was wrong and I can't do it anymore," said Chambers, who did not want to name her father for this article. ''So I put a stop to it and told him: No more."

After graduating from Boston English High and taking on some receptionist and office jobs, she felt unfulfilled. She wanted to do something that might help fight sexual abuse and she thought a job in law enforcement would be the way to do it.

So she applied to the Boston Police Academy to become a cop and she was accepted in 1987. While she was a cadet, Chambers said, a man broke into her Cummins Highway apartment in Mattapan through her balcony door while she slept. He sexually assaulted her for over an hour and robbed her of $200, she said. No one was ever charged.

Despite the attack, Chambers didn't falter in becoming a police officer and in 1987, she graduated from the Boston Police Academy. Her first stint was a patrol officer of Hyde Park and West Roxbury, a job she said she loved.

But while off-duty in January 1988 and outside the former Lafayette Mall in downtown Boston, Chambers and a taxi driver engaged in an heated altercation. It ended with Chambers grabbing her gun from her car and pointing it at the head of a cabdriver.

Security cameras captured the gun-pointing scene, which made local newscasts and headlines.

Six days later, then-Boston Police Commissioner Francis M. Roache fired Chambers for the incident.

Looking back on it now, Chambers realizes her rape as an adult and the years of sexual abuse as a child combined to make her snap that afternoon when the cabbie cut her off.

''I didn't deal with being a rape victim," she said. ''I lost the job before I got to do what I wanted to do, which was fight sexual abuse."

She found herself spiraling downward by abusing cocaine. Her initial catalyst -- to fight sexual abuse -- inspired her to finally seek counseling.

She found it at the Roxbury Multi-Service Center, where she went for therapy. Getting back on her feet, she also went back to school to UMass-Boston to study human services and community development.

It was there that she came up with the idea for a conference on sexual abuse victims for a school community service project.

''It was very courageous of her," added Bullette, who was a speaker at Chambers's first conference in 1998 at UMass-Boston.

The conferences and workshops are a way ''to let people know they are not alone in this and they're OK, and there are people out there that can help and that you can talk about it because young people are often told to keep it secret," Bullette said. ''It's Debbie's way of healing and giving back to the community."

About six times a year, she holds conferences featuring other local sex abuse survivors, doctors, and counselors. At the event, she provides contacts for counselors and referral services. She spoke at the YWCA's Aswalos House in Dorchester last month and plans to speak at the New Fellowship Baptist Church in Dorchester this April.

She is also in the process of founding a nonprofit group called DC Empowering Children to raise money to eventually open a center in Dorchester where sexual abuse survivors can go to for help.

Chambers hopes it will be the kind of place she could have walked into when she was a kid in Dorchester.

She said, ''I really love helping, nurturing, and sharing love, because that is what God has given me unconditionally. For some people, their passion is becoming a teacher or a police officer. For me, it's this."

Johnny Diaz can be reached at jodiaz@globe.com.