Class matters

NEW HAVEN -- When Aurora Nichols arrived at Yale University, obvious markers set her apart from wealthier classmates. She worked in a campus dining hall, and, lacking a laptop, she haunted the often-empty computer lab. But the swiftest betrayal of her roots was weekend planning.

''I found myself having to say things like, 'We don't have a house in the Hamptons -- and, by the way, I don't know where that is,' " said Nichols, 21, whose mother works as a truck driver and whose father is a self-employed handyman in Virginia. ''I mean I am glad to be part of this club, this very elite, very private club. I just wish someone had given me some clue about what it was beforehand."

This semester, Nichols has banded together with fellow lower-income students in a support group called ''Class Matters."

They say that having their own club is particularly needed as Yale, like other elite schools, seeks to increase the economic diversity of its students. Admittance to the nation's most prestigious schools is a heady ride, offering entree to society's upper-reaches, but Nichols and other lower-income students say the experience can take an emotional toll.

Some suffer crises of confidence as they worry that their public school training is no match for preparatory schools; others retreat after repeated awkward encounters, such as bowing out of a meal at the corner bistro because a free one waits in the dorm. For others, the gap in social experience forces them to question their identity as they cope with a culture that labels them low-income, not middle class, as they grew up believing.

Yale, Harvard, Brown, Stanford, Princeton and other schools, are now using more generous financial aid offers to aggressively pursue lower-income students. In recent decades, the proportion of such students had declined as tuition charges rose.

As a whole, students with family income under $60,000 remain a distinct minority at elite schools: 16 percent at Harvard, 17 percent at Princeton, and 15 percent at Yale.

The students say they arrive at elite schools prepared for most of their classmates to be wealthier, given that their campuses were founded as provinces of the upper class. But some students say they are frustrated to find that the merit that earned them entry to the schools does not always trump class distinctions.

''There are class-based signals and common understandings and experiences that draw people together," said Phoebe Rounds, a Yale junior who said she observed wealthy classmates dip into social circles formed at boarding schools and camps, while she sought to connect by shared intellectual interests.

''It's not like you can't be friends with people from different backgrounds," she said. ''But when you are first meeting someone and you have things is common, it's much easier."

Some students say that view is narrow. ''There is an egalitarianism here: We are all elites across the board, just being here," said Connor Wilson, 20, a Harvard junior from Denver.

Harvard has some super-wealthy students, mini-celebrities in their own right, he said. But like the rest of students at Harvard, they tend to shy away from ostentatious shows of wealth, Wilson said, as he chatted with four roommates in their residence hall room on a recent evening.

One of them pointed out that their conversation about class, prompted by a reporter, was the first they had had.

''That, in and of itself, says a lot," said Max Feldman, 21, a junior from New York.

Another roommate, Precious Eboigbe, said that class played so little role in her life at Harvard that, until that evening, she had never shared with her roommates her background of leaving her native Nigeria at age 2 and growing up poor in New Jersey.

Eboigbe attended a an elite private high school, a factor that she and others acknowledged can radically improve a poor student's transition at Harvard. Attending such a school, even on financial aid, offers immersion in a wealthy setting and, later, a comfort level at elite colleges that tend to be similarly structured.

Jon Gentry, a Harvard junior who attended public school in Houston, recalled feeling paralyzed his freshman year at an alumni weekend function, as friends who had attended prep schools struck up conversations with alumni.

''They were making contacts and establishing relationships while I'm standing there not knowing what to do," he said. ''These students from prep schools, they know the ropes. And, unfortunately, that's not something you pick up at one little workshop."

Peter Hasegawa -- who attended Choate Rosemary Hall, the Connecticut prep school -- said he watched as his roommates, who attended public school, struggled to navigate Yale in their freshman year. They signed up for large survey courses, for example, while he sought permission from professors to be excused from them.

''I felt entitled to get into certain courses by building relationships with professors, which is a skill that you learn in boarding school," said Hasegawa, 23, a senior.

Students who attend public schools also worry that their high school education ill-prepared them for the rigors of the Ivy League.

''I was so used to being perfect, not only in my own eyes, but in everyone else's," said Bryce Caswell, 21, a pre-med junior at Harvard from Portola, Calif. ''Then you get here, and there are a lot of kids who have done a lot more than you. And you start to believe: 'I don't belong here. This is too good for me.' "

Helping students to acclimate is tricky for universities, with students' differing personalities and privacy concerns at play.

Harvard offers support services for low-income students, including a mentor program, a monthly newsletter, and a semiannual social gathering. The services are advertised confidentially, often via e-mail, said Sally Donahue, director of financial aid.

Yale does not offer support services specifically for low-income students, out of concern that doing so would brand the students by economic backgrounds. Instead, Yale emphasizes an array of collegewide services.

''You don't want to target people in such a way as to make them feel singled out," said Penelope Laurans, associate dean of Yale College.

Members of ''Class Matters," the new group for low-income students, say the club aims to fill what they consider a vacuum at Yale. But the club has been racked by internal struggles, mirroring members' own. Some members chafed at revealing their personal stories at meetings; other students have insisted that sharing is the only way to help other students.

Ilyana Sawka, a Yale junior from upstate New York and a founding member, favors open discussion. She said that as a younger student she would have welcomed advice on how to explain to roommates her habit of watering down hand soap to conserve it. ''You tend to get here and blame yourself for not making friends, especially if you were an outsider in high school, where you never fit in because you are too smart," Sawka said. ''You dream of Yale, that people will be just like me, and then they aren't."

''I really value my experience here," she said. ''I just wish there was an easier way to connect with other people who felt the same way I do."

Sarah Schweitzer can be reached at schweitzer@globe.com.