Greg Amarra

It's an unusual theme for a valedictory speech to be delivered by a student who is president of the student council and honor society and the captain of the tennis team. But at Quincy High School's graduation tomorrow, Amarra will talk about the mistakes he has made.

Amarra, 17, entered Quincy High School facing a daunting legacy: two older, high-achieving sisters who were both near the top of their class. Amarra, his parents made clear, was expected to do the same.

``I didn't want to hear that I was Leia and Greia's brother," he recalled. ``I wanted to step out of their shadows."

So Amarra hurled himself into a frenetic four years of Advanced Placement classes, all manner of student government positions, volunteer work, late nights, and early mornings. But eventually, despite all the A's, accolades, and awards, he began to wonder whether it was all worth it.

``It felt like no matter what I did, it wasn't enough," he said.

Amarra said he now regrets being too ``self-conscious" about grades and college admissions, an Ivy League-or-bust mentality that left him little time to be an ordinary teenager. Amarra enjoys his ambitious, active days, and thrives on intellectual debate and a wide range of activities. But he said he appreciates his experiences more by putting less pressure on himself to succeed at all costs.

``Ever since freshman year, I've been gunning to be top in the class," he said. ``I worried that if I made one wrong move, things would fall apart. But that's not what high school is supposed to be about."

Amarra was shy and reserved his first two years, but began to break out of his shell during a statewide ``Youth and Government" program for student leaders. From then on, he tried to be more outgoing and let his guard down more.

``Initially, I would just sit in the back and watch things. I was very unsure of myself," he said. ``But I really learned to get out there."

Amarra was accepted to Brown University, but has decided to attend Trinity College in Hartford on a full-tuition scholarship. He said that it was hard to turn down the Ivy League prestige, but that isn't as important to him as it used to be. And he likes the idea of giving his parents' pocketbook a break.

``After putting two kids through college, they could use some financial leeway," he said.