An urgent message for stressed-out students: relax

Among the hastily painted graffiti on the arches of Newton's Echo Bridge is a heart stopper. It's a spare memorial to seven teens from nearby Needham who have died since 2002:

R.I.P. Remembered with Love
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Spray-painted by what appears to be the same hand, the message appears under the fifth arch in from Ellis Road. The jumble of letters represents the initials of three students killed in car crashes, one killed in a commuter rail accident, and three who committed suicide.

The string of deaths has darkened the mood at Needham High School, and the suicides have focused attention on what many people feel is a pressure-cooker environment.

Principal Paul Richards has spent his 2 1/2 years at the school exploring ways to turn down the stress level.

Richards, 35, has encouraged teachers not to give homework over school vacations; held Speak Out assemblies for students to vent concerns about bigotry, violence, and suicide; and, most notoriously, ended the tradition of publishing the honor roll in the local paper.

Richards is quick to emphasize that it would be simplistic to blame the suicides on stress alone. But he noted that stressful environments tend to lead to more incidences of suicide, eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive behavior.

His decision on the honor roll in December was ridiculed by comedian Jay Leno and skewered by some radio talk-show hosts, who accused the principal of coddling his students.

Last week, knocking on the wood of his desk, Richards said he thinks most of the criticism has cooled.

"It strengthened my resolve," said Richards of the national attention. "It touched on larger issues. The honor roll itself is insignificant. I was pleased it generated a lot of dialogue about the messages behind the honor roll."

During a forum attended by about 100 Needham parents last Thursday night, he outlined several initiatives designed to combat stress among students.

His efforts include regularly surveying students about their anxieties; consulting the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital; and forming a stress-reduction committee of students, parents, and teachers.

Richards wants the committee to look at the ways students place pressure on themselves, such as feeling compelled to earn top grades and join a slew of after-school activities to get into a highly ranked college. He hopes to dispel myths that increase anxiety.

"There are perceptions that Boston College only takes two seniors from each high school. Students hear this and start ranking each other," Richards told the parents, and informed them that eight Needham seniors last year went on to BC.

Richards said he would ask teachers to be more flexible in their assignment deadlines, noting that college professors often hand out a syllabus at the start of a semester that list windows of time to turn in projects and reports. He also plans to ask teachers to make sure they clearly state the objective of assignments, so that students are not left feeling they're doing busywork.

The intensity varies among grade levels, peaking in 11th when student s are gearing up to apply for college, Richards said. "Too many students are crashing in their junior years."

His comments registered with Barbara Harman, the mother of a junior. "I feel like my daughter is graded every time she breathes. She's graded for homework, tests, participation, and attendance," Harman said in an interview at last week's meeting.

In response to questions from parents, Richards said students feel more stressed today because of media accounts about the competitiveness of the global economy, and the increased emphasis on standardized tests as educators are held more accountable for the results of their students. He said they suffer under the misperception that getting into college is more difficult, when actually they have more choices than previous generations. More colleges are offering top-notch educations, he said.

On a more philosophical note, Richards said he sees students getting caught up in the notion that to lead happy lives they'll need high-paying jobs, which makes it all the more important, they feel, to get into good colleges, then good law or medical schools, and so on. In the end, they'll be disappointed, he said, noting that a number of veteran lawyers have come to him asking how to be certified as teachers.

"We have three lawyers on staff," he told parents.

One parent asked, "How do we communicate these issues to a broader community without getting dismissed?"

Referring to the honor roll situation, he assured parents, "I'm not concerned about public criticism."

Earlier in his presentation, the principal drew chuckles when he commented sheepishly about the media storm. But he said he regretted that it led to Needham being mocked as a town that babies its kids.

Asked about the role of guidance counselors, Richards said the high school is short-staffed. Each of the five counselors is responsible for 285 students, and devote s much of his time to helping upperclassmen with college applications. He said the heavy caseloads particularly hurt freshmen who could use some help adjusting to life at the high school. "We're not spending a lot of time to get to know them," he acknowledged.

In an interview, Richards said that even if the counselors had more time, students in trouble often shy away from seeking advice.

"If you're keeping up appearances, you're not likely to say 'I need help,' " he said. "A duck floating in a stream looks calm. Underneath the water, you don't see that he's paddling furiously. These kids are paddling furiously to keep up."

He encountered a culture shock coming to Needham from his last principal position in Nantucket, where a chief challenge was getting students to recognize the value of education.

Having grown up in Missouri, Richards said, he didn't face the same pressure to be perfect that he finds in Needham. He described the East Coast mind-set as "results oriented, fast-paced, busy, product-oriented, and competitive.

"Not all these are bad things. But it seems to have gone into overdrive," said Richards. "I feel a lot of what students feel."

Lauren K. Meade can be reached at lmeade@globe.com.