Art to salve a child's grief
A poignant exhibit shows how youngsters, helped by an Arlington program, cope
Constructed of Band-Aids and surrounded by streaks of purple and blue, the artwork tells of a man's illness and death, and is narrated across an image of a heart pierced by an arrow. At the notched end of the arrow and progressing to the point is a child's recollection of the event: "Start; Cancer; Cancer Stopped; Cancer Began Again; Keeps on Growing; He Died; Heartbroken."
The piece, about his father's death from cancer eight years ago, is the work of Delaine Driscoll, a 9-year-old boy from Chelmsford. It is one of 60 images in an exhibit of works created by children who have experienced the loss of a loved one. The exhibit, "Art From the Heart," will be on display through Feb. 18 at the Francesca Anderson Fine Art gallery in Lexington.
"The pieces the kids created are beautiful, very powerful," said Barbara Clarke, executive director of The Children's Room, a center for grieving children located in Arlington, which organized the exhibit. "The pieces, in combination with what the children say, present a poignant picture of what's going on in their life. The use of color is life-affirming; they show optimism about their experience."
A piece by Richie, age 10, shows a bright-green baseball diamond; his accompanying text reads: "My dad was my baseball coach. We used to play baseball together a lot. I don't get to anymore. I miss him." Chanel, age 7, drew a picture of herself and her brother playing: "My big brother died. My big brother is pushing me on the swing in my back yard."
Jennifer Coon-Wallman, an art therapist and psychologist, conducted a staff training session in art therapy at The Children's Room last fall. She said she frequently uses art therapy to help children express their feelings.
"Art making can be especially healing during the grieving process, as words often are insufficient, answers usually scarce, and emotions tend to come in waves that can overwhelm us, subside, then overwhelm us again," she said.
She said the pieces created for the exhibit are "incredibly touching and moving, and give some heft to the intangible qualities of loss."
The Children's Room traces its roots to 1992, when its former program director, Judy Oliver, and others organized a children's program at a hospice in Waltham. Over the years, the group moved from meeting in people's homes to opening a site in the basement of the First Baptist Church in Arlington. In 2004, the organization bought a home of its own, a large Victorian house on Massachusetts Avenue.
There, children gather in groups every other week, said Clarke, and staff and volunteers use a peer support group model to help them deal with grief through play, art, and group activities.
There's a "high-energy" room, where kids can express anger and other emotions through, for example, hitting a punching bag. An art room allows them to work through feelings on paper, and some of the pieces in the exhibit were created there. While the children are in their groups, their parents meet elsewhere in the building, sharing their own experiences.
Clarke said that about 120 children are in groups now at the Arlington site. (The Children's Room also runs programs at a rented site in Framingham, serving nine families there.)
Kelly Driscoll, Delaine's mother, said The Children's Room has been very helpful for her children -- her daughter, Donovan, is 12 -- and also for herself.
"Sometimes, raising your kid in a situation of grief, you don't know how you're doing," she said. "But if someone is going through the same thing, it can be comforting and reassuring."
Part of Delaine's grief over the death of his father, Christopher, is "because he couldn't really remember his father," Kelly Driscoll said. "Del was frustrated and angry."
Of The Children's Room, Delaine said: "I like sharing my feelings and getting my anger out -- that's my favorite part. I feel that people can know how I feel and that it's OK to share about your loved one."
Brittany Queen, a 10-year-old from Woburn, also has an artwork in "Art From the Heart."
Her piece shows her saying goodbye to her mother, who is ascending a staircase to heaven; her mother died of lung cancer two years ago. Brittany said The Children's Room is an important place for her.
"We're all friends there," she said. "It kind of just makes you feel better. It makes you feel that you're at home."
Her father, Stephen, said that after his wife, Judy, died, "we were a mess. Some friends told us about The Children's Room, so we went, and we've been going ever since. Once we were there, we knew we belonged there. Brittany loved it."
After Feb. 18, "Art From the Heart" is scheduled to be shown at two other sites,
Before opening at the Francesca Anderson gallery, it was shown in Doric Hall at the Massachusetts State House, and at the Robbins Library in Arlington.
"The response has been pretty amazing," Clarke said. "Some people were very touched. We forgot to bring tissues. We had to ask the janitor at the library to get us some."
"Art From the Heart" will be shown at Francesca Anderson Fine Art, 56 Adams St., Lexington, through Feb. 18. Call 781-862-0660 for hours. To contact The Children's Room, 781-641-4741 or childrensroom.org. 
