She'll fight to keep flag aloft over dad's grave

BILLERICA - Henry Favreau, an Army veteran with a hearty laugh, told his daughter before he died that he wanted a headstone shaped like the Harley-Davidson he had longed for.

But Dina Favreau could not afford it right away, not after she and her fiance spent their wedding savings on her father's funeral and burial.

So last week, Favreau's fiance, Jim Armstrong, went to Billerica's Fox Hill Cemetery and built his own monument: an American flag flying from a 20-foot pole, anchored in a bucket of cement and ringed with mulch, flowers, and solar-powered spotlights.

Favreau said she was "blown away" when Armstrong called her to the cemetery Sunday to reveal the surprise. Cemetery officials were also stunned, and have called for the removal of the unauthorized flagpole.

"We have a set of rules and regulations in the cemetery, and they don't include people being able to erect flagpoles," said Donald MacDonald, chairman of Billerica's Cemetery Commission.

Cemetery officials see the flagpole as an extreme example of a troubling trend in the newest section at the 150-year-old Fox Hill graveyard, where neat rows of headstones share space with all manner of personal artifacts. Alongside ceramic angels, flowers, and pinwheels, the bereaved have left a Jolly Roger flag, a grinning scarecrow seated atop a hay bale, and a statue of a garden gnome riding a turtle. Some have planted shrubs.

"It's a circus atmosphere up there right now," said Claudia Hall, vice chairwoman of the Cemetery Commission. "It's one person trying to outdo another, just like in a neighborhood, and it's out of control and it's got to come to a stop."

Signs at the cemetery warn that decorations left on the ground will be removed. Twice a year the staff sweeps through to clear everything, leaving the mementos in a pile behind the maintenance building, said Neville Rivet, Billerica's cemetery superintendent. Hall said she wants to see an end to the clutter, out of respect for visitors who prefer minimalism and order.

Wednesday evening, an impromptu cluster of visitors to the cemetery discussed the potential crackdown. "They can't do that, and we need to all band together to make sure they don't," Favreau told the group.

She said cemetery officials don't understand the mourners' need to honor the dead. "These are people," she said. "These are not just headstones."

Favreau, a 32-year-old paralegal who lives in Billerica, lost her father March 19. Henry W. Favreau Sr., 52, slipped into a coma during treatment at an oncology consultation and died soon afterward, his daughter said; an autopsy showed he had end-stage cancer.

Henry Favreau, who was raised in Billerica and lived in Lowell, served in the Army during peacetime, and later worked a variety of laborer's jobs before arthritis, liver disease, and other conditions forced him to retire.

"He was one of my best friends," Dina Favreau said. "There wasn't anything I couldn't tell him."

She selected a corner lot so she could find her father's grave easily while saving for his headstone. She visited daily for six weeks after the funeral and has returned several times a week since.

Favreau's grief has been amplified by confusion over the location of her father's grave and her frustration with cemetery conditions. Crabgrass is prevalent. On a late-May visit, she noticed that her father's makeshift cross was missing and that a new grave had replaced the spot where she believed he was buried.

Rivet, a new superintendent, was not at the cemetery yet when Favreau purchased the lot. He said records show her father is buried in the second lot from the corner. He called the situation a misunderstanding at the time of purchase and said the cemetery is developing new practices to prevent future confusion.

Regardless, Favreau was shaken. Armstrong said he held her nightly while she cried, distraught about her father's location and unmarked grave. The 30-year-old plumber and finishing carpenter put up the flagpole to serve as an immovable landmark.

He said he felt uneasy about digging in a cemetery but was confident in his work. "My thought was at the time, 'Tear this up,' " Armstrong said.

Local officials might try. Rivet said he mailed Favreau a letter Wednesday ordering her to remove the monument by the end of this weekend, or his crew would take it down. Favreau appealed to Town Manager Rocco J. Longo, but a meeting between the two yesterday did not resolve the dispute. Earlier, Longo told the Globe he respected Favreau's grief and the symbolism of the flag but had to apply rules and regulations evenly to all residents.

At the cemetery Wednesday, on the six-month anniversary of her father's death, Favreau stood near the base of the flag and pledged to hold her ground.

"This is my land," she said.